[sabtme]

Hello everyone,

I've been broken up with my ex girlfriend for going on three months now.

In addition to spending time with my friends, working out, and getting involved with some of my hobbies, I've also been doing a fair amount of reading as of late.

One book in particular, C. Terry Warner's "Bonds that Make us Free," was given to me by a good friend, and I've recently finished reading it. As the person who gave me the book initially informed me, it has had a powerful impact on how I think about myself, and my interactions with others.

While I will not pretend that I would like nothing better than to get back with my ex, I would like to send her this book for her own benefit--hopefully to help with her self-professed "anger" issues that she holds responsible for ending all of her relationships and that she also feels helpless to combat.

As I said, while I would certainly like to be with her, I don't want her to surmise as much from me giving her the book. So, I figure I have a few options for getting the book to her, including:

1. Mail it anonymously.
2. Give to a mutual friend, and have the friend say "I just read this, and think it may be something valuable for you, too."
3. Give it to her myself.
4. Some other way that I have not thought of.

How can I best go about giving my ex the book?

Thank you!

[talaniman]

Some things are best left alone, as it can be messy getting into someone's business after so much time has passed. I would leave well enough alone.

[mckenzie134]

Let it go move on

[sabtme]

Some things are best left alone, as it can be messy getting into someones business after so much time has passed. I would leave well enough alone.

The only email I still have saved from her reads as follows:

"Hey. What is going on between us? Or you are probably asking yourself what
is going on with me? Well to be honest this isn't the first relationship that
this has happened, where I get upset alot. I don't know where it comes from
and I honestly do not know how to control it. You say its EASY, to just stop
doing it, but in fact i've tried that time and time again and nothing works.
And when I say I don't know how to change it...its because I really don't.
...Yes I probably have an anger problem and probably need help from other sources...I probably can't help myself because i've tried that before. I care for you alot and I don't like how I treat you sometimes and don't want you to "walk on ice" around me. I would like to change for you and for myself. And when I say "you probably shouldn't be with me" that's because I know how I am and know how every other relationship has ended. So i am not trying to make you mad when I say that. Sorry."

While I can't be certain what led to our breakup, I know I almost broke up with her just prior to the time she sent this email. I was willing to try to work on this issue, though, and she appeared to be, too. Ultimately, I think it contributed to her decision to break up with me.

I really love her, and would like to see her happy, even if it is without me. Is this book the catch-all solution she needs? I don't know, but it had profound effect on me, and I think it could be good for her.

[talaniman]

She may need help from a professional but its not you business. Let it go.

[GlindaofOz]

I understand where you are coming from but it is best to leave it be.
I get that you want her to find the same help you did but maybe this book wouldn't help her or maybe she would feel upset about it. If she is meant to read it she will find it.

[Homegirl 50]

I think you should leave well enough alone. Don't go there.

[sabtme]

Thanks to all who responded.

I have decided to not send anything to her.