[deezmom]

I had the fights of all fights last night with my boyfriend of 3 years ,that I have a 13 month old son with. We moved to l.a. last summer for his job. I am a stay at home mom and we just bought a $3.6 million home. He had a trust set up for our son and had taken out life insurance with me as benificiary in case anything ever happened. Well last night he told me he was taking me off everything, the house is in his name, the cars.. everything... told me in no uncertain terms I have and am nothing... and he could buy someone for 1/10th the cost to do my job. (this is all new scary behavior) our agreement has from day one been, I would have children and stay home and raise them... he told me last night to go get a job and hire a fulltime babysitter and start living in the real world because he would never support me.
My question. We are not married and I am from and all my family and friends are in Florida. Would I legally be able to go there? My boyfriend has never taken care of my son for more than a few hours, I am his caretaker and would move to Florida before I go get a job here and leave him 40 hrs a week with a stranger. Boyfriend has assets of 7-8 million... I am mot asking can I get his cash. But, is it reasonable to get child support based on earnings and live where I could have family support? We had planned on getting married(with a prenup of course) I think I am better off unmarried if it will mean I can go "home"... especially since he made it clear this one is not mine. Thanks for any input. I never thought I'd have to be asking these sorts of questions.. devistated.

[Foxy459459]

First of all hun do not marry this jerk. You so deserve better for yourself and your son. You can live where ever you want. The two of you are not married and you are not bound to him at all. Take him to court for support and coustdy. Get it in writing. I have a feeling that if you were to get married to this guy it would end in a nasty divorce anyhow. Take care of your son and yourself. If I was you go and talk to a lawyer and figure out your options because I know you have a lot of them. I hope everything works out for you, and your son. Take care, If you need anything else please let me know.

[deezmom]

I don't know if am aloud to do this... can I talk back to foxy here? If so.. thank you... I am beside myself today.. I feel like my world went to hell last night. Anyway, boyfriend called from work to say don't worry about last night and could I be sure to let his TV guy in to hook up more crap. (the 7 in here aren't enough?) if you don't feel too strange, is it OK to ask for your email? I want to talk about this, get some perspective.. too embarrassed to talk to my neighborhood friends. They think we're perfect. Bty, I was holding my son as he screamed les than a centimeter from my face.. he should smash my head in, ing kick my , I am a whore, an , u the "F" do I think I am, I am nothing but a c@*t. scared me of course and my littles. I'm not asking for sympathy, I am a big girl... I am just in shock. He told me he was also cutting off all credit cards, moving all money and putting a small limit on 1 card for groceries. He would show me what hard is. Thankfully I have access to friends that would help me get out of here, but I am truly mortified. I feel like I can't face anyone.

[GlindaofOz]

You need to contact a lawyer and have a child support agreement drawn up. He will most certainly have to pay it is his child and he is asking you to leave. I will call a lawyer today and figure out what you need to do.

[Foxy459459]

Oh sweetie you need to get out of there, your little one and you do not deserve this. My e-mail is [email protected] e-mail me if you wever need to talk and better yet if you want I will give you my phone number if you want to talk. I know this sounds weird but I know what you are going though somewhat I was in a abusive relationship for a lone time. You really need to get out of there, and away from him. Your little one should not ever see anything like that. And no guy in there right mind should ever talk or treat you that way. Let me know if you want my number and we can talk or you can e-mail me. I check my e-mail all day long so just let me know.

[GlindaofOz]

deezmom - you said this behavior is new... when did it start? It sounds as if he has sort of snapped... is there any chance he is taking drugs?

[deezmom]

No. I have been having health problems, new baby , new house , new job... I get the stress level. But I deal with it. I said my share of unkind words too. But there is a difference in defending and attacking. He was drinking and said he was buzzed. I have been in abusive relationships always. Raised in a abuse. I decided to have a child with a normal, nice guy from "wallstreet". He's younger tham me... its just all wrong. I use to be in entertainment, married to a rockstar, lived that life... I chose a "normal" life. That's why I am sooooo floored. I left l.a. and decided to make a new calm life. I feel like a truck hit me and like an idiot.

[GlindaofOz]

OOOOHHHHHHHHHH he's a wallstreet guy.

Honey I've worked on Wall St for a long time and I have seen how those guys treat their wives. I would never, ever marry one because of that. His friends probably have fed into his head that you are using him which is why things have changed. I would bounce out of this relationship FAST. I would also as I said call a lawyer TODAY. Chances are he has already talked to one and you are a step behind.

[Foxy459459]

I think I would have to agree with Glinda! You need to get the hell out of there as fast as you can, don't walk away put them nikie's on and run the hell out of there girl. You don't need all that, and no one should ever have to defend themselves to someone else attacking them. I could only imagine how this guy is. I was with someone for along time that had a serious drinking problem, he was extremely abousive mentaly and physically. Get yourself and your son out of there as fast as you can, and get your butt on the phone with a lawyer ASAP.

[GlindaofOz]

Also to add, most not all but a good chunk of Wall St guys abuse drugs and alcohol. So you definitely are on the right track. You are right to leave. Think of your kids and keep that the main thought in your mind I doubt you want your son to grow up thinking its okay to treat women the way daddy does.

[deezmom]

Hi. Thanks for the advice. I know he saw a lawyer a few weeks ago for the trust for our son and to set up the life insurance... he came home talking about prenups and what he had before me. I started working as a model at 16.. worked through previous marriage, earned a lot... this is the first time I am dependent on a person since my teens(36now) we decided to have a baby, we agreed on the household being run a crtain was.(he works,I raise kids)
I am getting legal counsel and putting a plan be or exit plan in place. Its justsad. I waited to have kids with a nice normal good guy... my instincts never developed,I guess. He thinks he has me backed into a corner money-wise and that makes him powerful/feel better about himself. That's my guess.

[GlindaofOz]

I think your guess is probably right. The smartest thing for you to do right now is just to cover you butt.

He sounds very controlling and it is probably best for you to figure out your escape plan and move on.

[Foxy459459]

I am so happy to hear you stand up for yourself. I know its hard but, believe me it will be worth it in the long run for yourself, and most of all your child. Because no one deserves to be treated the why you and your child have been treat by this monster. Believe me hun money doesn't buy you happiness, all it does is turn people into greddy, mean selfish people. That's why I don't want to ever be rich. Im a single mom my son is 7ive been doing it for 7 years now on my own, if I can do it so can you. The best thing for you right now is family and friends. Turn to them. Let them help you put the pieces of your life back together and let them enjoy your little one that they have been missing out on. Be good to you, and good luck with everything.