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justme005 · Jul 28, 2007, 10:45 AM

Hello all!

I work at bally total fitness and everyday this really cute guy comes in and we flirt and talk for a little then he goes to work out. When he came out the other night he gave me his number and told me to text him. So I have been texting him last night and then today I asked him how old he is and he is 28! Needless to say I am only 20 years old! I feel like I can really like this guy and I am so upset he is so old. Do you think it is impossible for us to hang out together and stuff? I mean I really like him... and I also go away to school 2hrs from where he lives... I know its keeps getting worse... I haven't had a relationship in forever and really wanted this to happen... but now I don't know...

Anyone have any advice. 8 yrs apart is weird rite. Besides my parents might freak out. But they can't control me. Anyway please help me out! Thank you so much

Justme.

J_9 · Jul 28, 2007, 10:49 AM

Personally once we hit the age of about 20 an 8 year difference is not so bad. He would not have given you his number if he wasn't interested, right?

However, reading your other posts, when you go back to school, will you be able to be faithful to him?

justme005 · Jul 28, 2007, 10:52 AM

DEF. I actually really like him. I don't know if the age difference is freaking him out now though. Some people aren't interested in younger girls... I don't know what to say to him

justme005 · Jul 28, 2007, 03:32 PM

Sooo he said he's not looking for a relationship... I think he just wants to get laid because he just broke a 7 yr relationship up 4 months ago... should I just do it and see if something eventually comes out of it? I don't know what to do.. but I really like .

Let me knowww

Thank again

Canada_Sweety · Jul 28, 2007, 03:48 PM

Well, just try being friends for a little while longer... it always works, and it gives you the time to think about yourself and your needs. And the 8 year age difference isn't that bad seeing how you guys are both legally adults.:) Once again: Age is all mind over matter... if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.:D

talaniman · Jul 28, 2007, 05:33 PM

Sooo he said he's not looking for a relationship... I think he just wants to get laid because he just broke a 7 yr relationship up 4 months ago

Well now that you know where he is coming from, don't waste your time, unless you want the same thing he does.

J_9 · Jul 28, 2007, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by justme005

should i just do it and see if something eventually comes out of it?

Tell me you are kidding right? Wow I read your other post and you are NOT ready for a relationship after reading this one too.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but he told you he is not in for a relationship, so sex is out of the question for you.

Sure he may want to get laid, but it will be you that will be hurt in the end. HE DOESN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, which means that you don't "just do it and see if something eventually comes of it"

This is a very immature way of looking at relationships. If you "just do it" you will be back here wondering why he hurt you and wanting to know whether you are pregnant.

The foundation of relationships is friendship first, not sex first, sex is just a bonus.

justme005 · Jul 28, 2007, 06:22 PM

Yehh your right... I just have to face the fact that I will never be in a relationship. No guy now a days is going to just want to be friends every guy I know is a sexaholic. They are all perverted and none of them are nice guys. I like sex but I hate worrying afterwards... this life sucks. I wish I can find a normal nice guy who would want a relationship and not be an about it.

I thought I really liked this guy. I thought he was sooo sweet, now that I see what he wants it sucks. Oh well ill see if he texts me tonight or tomorrow. Take it day by day.

Thanks for the advice all.

J9: u remember me huh? Haha. Your advice is clutch. Thanks :)

J_9 · Jul 28, 2007, 06:28 PM

Hun, just slow down and think about what your reputation is if you "just do it" because you want to see how it turns out.

Your reputation should be gold to you and you should embrace it. You don't want to look like a slut do you? I didn't think so.

Now, not every man is a pervert and not every man is just in it for sex, but it takes time to build a loving relationship. You have that idea ALL wrong, completely 100% wrong. Don't go into life that way, please.

Look at what you are saying about men here, we could turn that around and say some pretty terrible things about you from your other post. Time to chill out and just be you, for you right now.

GlindaofOz · Jul 28, 2007, 06:31 PM

J9 is right. You are attracting what you are putting out. If you are having no strings attached sex you will attract people who won't no strings attached sex. You need to change your opinion of yourself and start to love who you are as a person and start to respect yourself. Once you do that you will meet guys who respect and love you too.

justme005 · Aug 21, 2007, 05:56 PM

Thank you all for reading and responding to my last post. I understand what you are saying. I'm not a slut though. Its just when I get wasted I doo dumb shhhiiit. I am going back to school on Sunday... I am making a promise to myself: I AM not going to be the idiot I was last yr. even if I do get trashed I am not getting in bed w. anyone unless we are attracted to each other when we are not drunk. I am not going to smoke anything as much as I used to and I am going to work out more... working at a gym has really changed my perspective on eating drinking and smoking. I need to think about where my life is going... I mean I am 20 yrs old... I don't want to mess up now. I've almost ruined my life too many times. I cannot get into anymore trouble w. my school or I will have to pay a bigger fine and be on probation. I think I can really do this.

By the way... that 28 yr old dude has been texting me and stuff,, he's been wanting to meet up w. me and I keep telling him I have stuff to do... I'm just scared he is going to want to do something I don't want to. He text me before and said that tonight we should hang out for sure... I really don't know what else to say to him... I really want to hang out, but I know it will not end up good. Its so hard for me to blow him off all the time... I'm really thinking about just hanging out w. him and not doinggg it w. him.
But then again you know what just making out leads tooo...

Thanks everyonee again<3

J9: your little bunny icon would be dead if I had him.

Dennis777 · Aug 21, 2007, 07:20 PM

Hello.

WOW you do have some problems with knowing who you are and how special you can be. Look at what you wrote. Your going to get it together and not give in to Drinking and Guys and then you say I want to hang out but you know what Making out does. If you can't stop after making out then don't make out with him. People can go out and not Make Out.

Im sure you are a very special Lady if you would give yourself a chance. So do as you would tell others to do. Stop letting yourself do what you know is wrong for you to do.

Dennis777