[confused0729]

I am 24 years old and the one and only way that I can orgasm is from an old childhood method. No hand stimulation, vibrator, oral sex, intercourse can get me to orgasm. I have had a shocking number of partners and every one seems to think Im weird because I can't orgasm with them doing everything they can. Is this mental? I have read that only 70% of women can orgasm during sex, but they can still get off with oral or vibrators. What's wrong with me? Oral does nothing for me, its actually kind of annoying. When my is touched, its an annoying feeling, not a pleasurable one. I love sex, it feels great, but right when I think it couldn't feel any better, it just goes away. I am so confused and I hope someone on here has some enlightenment for me.

Sincerely,
Confused
:confused:

[shudgins03]

Truthfully, I believe its in your head a bit. I used to think I couldn't have an orgasm either but I found that its possible. I hate oral sex too. This thing is in your head because you have set yourself up to thinking its not going to happen. You have to relax and focus on you not him. Try putting your legs up over his shoulders and have him press your legs back towards you and to go as deep as possible. I bet that will work. Good luck

[kp2171]

First, I'm a guy so its not like I'm talking direct experience physically, just my experiences with some women

Can you explain about how you can get off? Might help to know what physically does the job. Almost all my partners have had cl!toral orgasms primarily, one could have strong, different orgasms with vaginal stim, and yet another has only had rare vaginal stim orgasms (minor or no cl!toral stim at the time)... if my asking is weird ill do quid pro quo...

The first experiences I had with orgasms as a kid that I remember was climbing up poles, like playground poles. Using the legs to reach up and clasp the bar stimulated the muscles inside the legs and it did the job. Now, as a kid I had NO idea what the hell just happened... but it felt great. And today, one of my fav positions mimics that movement of the legs separating and pulling back in...

There... there's my childhood stim method to orgasm. Tell about yours so we can understand physically what gets you there.

I'm assuming you meant cl!toral stim annoys you. One partner I've had thought most men, including me before she told me, went after the cl!toris much too soon. With her, you had to work around the labia, the inner legs, and elsewhere until she was practically pulling me up to the cl!t by the ears because she was ready. So maybe one problems is too soon stimulation?

A problem with vibe or hand might be that you can't mentally lose yourself in the process... though, again, we don't know your childhood method, so I can't compare if you are mentally engaged or distracted by that method.

While I do agree, in my limited experience, women can have very different abilities to reach orgasm, I think much of the time its about finding and matching what stim you like. My partner has never reached orgasm missionary. Not with me, or anyone else. She likes it, but it doesn't do the job. If I had to get her off to save my life itd be oral, and second would be oral followed by her on top. After that, the rest is possible but less likely.

The girl before her always, always got off missionary with direct cl!toral stim. My current partner would smack me in the head if I did that to her.

So... mental blocks can be killer, and when coupled with physical stim needed that isn't "typical" or at least easily received, well, yeah, it might be hard to get there.

Don't give up. Provide more info about what helps you.

[smoothy]

My wife was sort of like that when we we were dating. Really did not want oral... said it felt weird the first few times I tried and who knows what other thoughts she never shared.

Point is I kept at it and told her give me 10 minutes without fighting it. Eventually she agreed, and 5 minutes later she was screaming don't stop and had her first real orgasm. She said this and its not a guess. Its weird feeling if you aren't used to it. Or you are just self conscience about odor or some form of repression.

From there it was all about listening to how she responded as to what she liked and disliked. Now she comes up and flat out asks me for it when the feeling strikes her. And we drop everything and indulge.

Point I am trying to get at is its 100% mental state. You have to relax and allow yourself to enjoy and guide him don't criticize.