[spider21]

My b-friend and I have been together for almost 2 yrs now, we moved in together 4 months ago and its been great (most of the time) the problem is that we are from diff. cultures I am Latina from PR and he is Irish/Italian and I'm finding a lot of things that I don't like about him.. like for example: He makes plans with his friends at least one day out of every w/end without telling me (I find out in the middle of a conversation) when I think he should (out of respect) let me know, so I don't make plans for us on that day. Also he is going to a bachelor's party where they're going to be strippers involved and his explanation is that if he doesn't go, his friends will make fun of him. Another thing is that he doesn't like to go to my family parties but he doesn't miss any of his friends or family ones and of course, he always wants me to go with him.

Sometimes I feel like he's selfish and doesn't care about my feelings on certain things.. and I just want some advice, please let me know if I should stay in this relationship or should I move on?

[Ash123]

Well, if you were engaged I'd say talk ASAP and let him know you could not live like this for life... WHY? He's not bad, it's just not good for you.

Some Irish Lass's wouldn't mind their man at the ol' pub on the weekend - but you are not that. Also, if he doesn't like your family - that's a problem too.

I think he may not be the right guy for you. BUT if you think maybe he is... tell him:

a) you like to be together at least one day on the weekend
b) you want him to partake in some family gatherings
c) you are not a whiner: so you are also having a PARTY and inviting your friends, his friends and both parents -
And he can enjoy!

And:
d) try going out with his friends and see what you think
e) see what your friends think of him... he's on trial TOO... so, enjoy.

[nicespringgirl]

Why do you call this as "cultrue difference"?

I don't see the problem is because of your individual culture background.

[shygrneyzs]

You were together two years before moving in together? Was there no opportunity to see these "differences" before or were you blind to them, thinking it would get better as time goes on? Many women (and men) think that way, so I am not singling you out here.

Yes, you do need to sit him down and discuss your feelings and needs. Tell him straight out that what is going on is not working for you. You are 50% of the relationship, not 10%.
I basically see this as a couple's problem that many couples face, does not matter if they are from different backgrounds. Much of it is upbringing. If he Father did this to his Mother and she never stood up for herself, then he learned it was okay. Maybe he feels he has to fit into a stereotype, I do not know. But you do need to get a handle on this now or prepare to leave.

You set him down and have everything you are wanting from him written down, so you do not forget and you do not gloss over anything. If you two cannot agree, then ask someone to come and mediate. If that does not work, then leave. Because it will not get better tomorrow or next week or next year and by that time you might have a baby and why place an innocent into a non working relationship?

Good luck to you. As Ash said, plan your own activities and have fun with your friends. If your boyfriend is such a schmuck that he will not attend, then you know where you stand.