[hheather17]

My boyfriend was supposed to come down Tuesday to visit me for the day. I have not seen him in about a month because he is back at school 6 hours away from me. On Monday I get a text message from him telling me that he could not come down and that he did not want to talk about it. The first thing that I did was over react. I got angry at him and told him I hated him and that he lied to me and that he did not want to come see me and that he was the worst thing that ever happened to me and that I was not going to come live with him anymore. I basically thought the worse of everything. He said he was not able to come down because he did not get paid like he was suppose to and it is expensive driving 6 hours both ways. Things have been a little crayz lately because of our different schedules.

Tuesday morning I get a text message from him saying that things are crazy right now that we need to take a break for a while so he can get his things together. We have been together for almost 2 years now and we have been doing the long distance thing for most of our relationship. We have been through everything together. I love him so much and want to be with him. I give him anything he wants. He is very involved with a lot of things and is so busy that we don't get to talk much like we used to. I have cried, not eaten for the past week. I do not know what to think?? He tells me he does not want me going anywhere and that I'm the only one for him and that he does not want anyone else to have me but him. He tells me that he cannot live life without me in it. He also says that I'm still his baby and that he is not going to find anyone else.

My biggest fear is losing him for good. I mean I said some pretty mean things out of anger to him which I did not mean. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We had all kinds of plans together. I was supposed to be moving up to Alabama with him in December and now I do not know if that is going to happen. He says he still loves me and cares about me. I don't know what to do. He has not called since Tuesday. The only thing he has done is a little texting. I miss him and want to see him so bad. When we see each other its always the best feeling like I never want him going anywhere. I am also real insecure about myself and that has always been a big issue. When do I know to try and talk to him. How will I know he will talk to me? I want to marry him

Please tell me what I need to do. Is it over for good or is it just needing some time alone? Should I give up hope on everything and just think of this a break up? What about our plans to live together in December? I want to show him that I would sacrifice anything for him. Should I just say its over for good and act like he is not a part of me?

He tells me that he can't be my boyfriend right now and that he needs some time to get himself together. There is this girl who likes him but he says he does not like her and all of his friends know that he has a girlfriend. She always writes things to him on his myspace and Facebook and its really starting to make me wonder. He says I'm perfect for him and that he can't find anyone better for him than me. He says that its not over for good he just needs some time since all we have been doing is fighting lately.

Is it over for good? PLEASE TELL ME!!

[Bluerose]

He may be going through some stuff, he might have met someone else and is confused or is trying to let you down gently. Apologies for losing your head and let him know how much you care for him and then give him some time to sort his life out. If it isn't meant to be it's best you find out now rather than five or ten years down the road.

[s_cianci]

I'd give it a break for a while, like he says. He's kind of wanting his cake and eat it too, with saying he needs a break but also saying that he doesn't want you going anywhere and he doesn't want anyone else to have you but him. All of this after breaking his plans for Tuesday with you at the last minute and giving you a questionable explanation about "not getting paid." At this point I'd make my own plans. Live your own life doing the things that you want. The whole "long distance thing" is never a good idea in my opinion as it lets too many other things interfere in a "relationship." Make yourself scarce for a while so that he has to chase you.

[Chery]

I think there is more distance here than just geography.

If you don't communicate (he can't come on Tuesday and does not want to 'talk' about it), then where is the basis for this relationship?

What have you been doing for the last year or so, quick get-together with sex and no talking? Not even pillow-talk?

What exactly do you 'love' about him so much?

s_cianci is right, do what you enjoy doing without him for a while and get a real perspective on this relationship to make clearer choices for your future.

Good luck, and get back with us.

[nicespringgirl]

I'd give it a break for a while, like he says. He's kind of wanting his cake and eat it too, with saying he needs a break but also saying that he doesn't want you going anywhere and he doesn't want anyone else to have you but him. All of this after breaking his plans for Tuesday with you at the last minute and giving you a questionable explanation about "not getting paid." At this point I'd go ahead and make my own plans. Live your own life doing the things that you want. The whole "long distance thing" is never a good idea in my opinion as it lets too many other things interfere in a "relationship." Make yourself scarce for a while so that he has to chase you.

True! I totally agree with s_cianci. (Systems doesn't allow me to give you another greenie until I spread more to others!:D)

[talaniman]

Let the emotional dust settle, and leave him alone, as the distance is hard on you both, but the lack of honest communication on both your parts, is worse . Let this rest for a while, and deal with yourself. Let cooler heads prevail later.

[hheather17]

My boyfriend just recently decided to take a break. I told him that I was planning to see him at the end of the month because he is in a band and I would like to see one of his shows. He has also mentioned he would like me to see one of his shows as well. I want this to be a surprise. Im thinking of asking one of his roomates to help me out with this. I really want to surprise him . I have not seen my boyfriend in a month now. I think it would be kind of romantic to surprise him for the weekend. I have really never made the sacrific to see him, he has always been the one to drive 6 hours to see me. Do you think this is a good idea?? Give me some suggestions PLEASE!!

[chuff]

Normally I would say this is not a good idea but why did he want the break? Because of the distance?

[hheather17]

My boyfriend recently decided to take a break. Im taking it pretty hard but as far as him I don't think he could careless. I cry every night thinking about him. I tell myself how I wish I would have handled our situation a lot better. I love him and miss him. I have been texting him because I always think about him. Just recently he stop returning my text messages. I don't know what to think about that. He told me it is not over for good but I have so many thoughts running through my head, I do not know what to think. I miss hearing his voice.I don't know what to do. Can someone please help me get my boyfriend back.!

[Homegirl 50]

Was the break up his suggestion?
I know this sounds harsh, but if it ain't there, it ain't there. You can't make a boy want you if he doesn't. He is letting you know by not returning your messages.
I'm sure you are a very nice young lady. Let his loss be your gain. Move on.

[Jiser]

I see it was a mutual choice? Time to give him space. The more you push the more he will pull. See this as an oppurtinity to improve yourself and your life. Ever wanted to do something? Nows the time. Stay busy, get out and about with your friends.

Check out these link and the first post. May help you!
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...tml#post557805

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...vive+a+breakup

[ma85me]

Listen, this is going to take alot of stength to overcome but listen to me, if you want him back then you need to ack like it is not bothing you at all, dont call him! Act like you have better things to do, you need him to see that he is not the end of the world for you and there is life beyond him! He will come running back after you dont call or dont answer his text messages for a while and if he doesnt the hell with him because it wasnt worth holding on to in the first place! Good Luck!

[Ash123]

Get another boyfriend or at least a guy who's a friend who is in the same social circles to get noticed... That'll straighten him out...

When he comes back - say hey, you were allowed to date right?

Mind games are for kids, but you all are kids right?
(under 22 this stuff can be an easy fix, but in the long run, no contact and total honesty
Get you the person you deserve.

[hheather17]

My boyfriend just decided that we need to take a break. This was a week ago. I wrote him a text message saying that he was a liar and that he was with another girl. He does not love me and he does not care about me. He then wrote back saying I was confusing him.. what does that mean? I think that there is this girl that likes him but I'm not sure if they are togther. What do I do about that?

[LearningAsIGo]

Give him a break.

He needs space and whatever he does during that time is nothing you can control. It seems clear that you have issues trusting him, so its probably best to get a little distance and clear your head. Taking a "break" is his way of saying he needs to decide if he does want to be with you or not. So, you have to either back off and move on or back off and wait to see if he comes back.

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

Whoa whoa whoa! Do you have any basis to think he's with another girl or that he's lying?

[GlindaofOz]

Sometimes people need a break in a relationship to figure things out away from the relationship. Sometimes the break has nothing to even do with the relationship. Men especially have a hard time really thinking about something while they are in the thick of it.

This break may have nothing to do with him wanting to be with another girl. You need to relax about it. Give him space. Don't text, don't call, don't IM, don't email, don't leave messages on myspace just give him space. When he is ready he will come to you.

[nicespringgirl]

He said you confused him after he got your message on the "liar" context?

If he is saying this based on your context(liar) then I'd say he is nice enough to say that!

Women easily accuse men of having an affair, that is very irrational and rude. You don't have any evidence or witness on this, and if it's not the fact, it hurts him a lot.

A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK. He could say you were crazy but he didn't. I'd suggest you leave him along for a while, it is a break and a process of learning yourself and bettering yourself. I hope both of you realize how important it is to better and grow together in a relationship.

Good luck:)

[Chery]

Relax... is the key here.

You over-reacted with your accusatory text message. Of course you confused him..

It's not always another person, although that's the first thing we think about when a relationship goes a little off. It's easier than sitting down and talking about it for fear we hear something we won't like. All men and women have the fear of rejection, but it's part of life.

Wanting a break does not always mean a permanent break-up.

Take our advice, give him time.. And.. if he does break it off, then you can spend your time and energy finding someone else.

Good luck dear, and keep us posted.

[hheather17]

So my boyfriend has finally told me what's going on. So please give me your insight on this! PLEASE!!

Heather, I know I have not talked to you in a while and I'm sorry for that. I have just been really busy and I don't really know how to feel about a lot of things lately. You know that I love you and I care so much about you Heather. No matter if we're separated, fighting, or even if you hate the air that I breathe I want you to know that I love you and I always will no matter what. You know that I have a lot on my plate right now it everything is just getting over bearing. It's too much for me to try and handle and I can't do it. I've tried once before and I tried to make everything work but I cannot. You know that I care about you and you mean the world to me but I can't handle having you in my life right now. It's just too much for me to try and attempt. Everything is piling up right now and something has to give. I know that's the reason that things had been getting out of hand and I didn't want to accept that but I have to look at the situation and realize that I can't have it all. I want you to know that I think that you're the most perfect girl ever. I love you so much and I will never find anyone as great as you baby. I know this. Maybe one day I can have you're perfect beautiful smile to wake me up every morning and I can make you happy again but I just can't do it right now. Please understand this. I love you and I'm sorry Heather.

We had plans for me to move with him in December to start school together... what should I do??