[margarita_momma]

I recently lost a (what I thought) was a very good friend of mine and I don't really understand why. She's a woman by the way. We have had a few problems in the past because we have both recently went through a divorce. We would comfort each other by hanging out, chain smoking, knocking back a few Smirnoff and talking about men. We would laugh and cry and I thought she was actually that one friend that I could depend on for anything. I recently had a blow up with an ex-boyfriend of mine who happened to be her friend before we started dating. She actually introduced us. Anyway, the ex-boyfriend turned out to be a complete a**hole and psycho so I left him. This guy is a very vindictive person so he wanted get me back for breaking his heart. He told my friend all kinds of ugly things, like how I told him to stay away from her because she always wanted to him, how I always wanted to her boyfriend, how I really didn't like her and that I was just using her to get things that I needed, etc. She completely blew up on me. Started yelling and screaming at me, never taking into account that this was me EX-BOYFRIEND and that he might just lie to make her mad at me. She called me a slut, told me that no matter how pretty, big boobed, skinny and blonde I was, not everyone wanted to me, that I am a cold hearted b*tch and that she regrets ever being my friend.

Okay, I know that all of this didn't just come out of her hearing my ex-boyfriend say stuff. My question is, do you think maybe she was holding a lot of stuff in that she disliked about me and hearing all the things he had to say just made her go over the edge? I know that I don't want people like her in my life and I am trying to straighten out my life but the wondering still bothers me. Thanks in advance! :)

[tkdgal]

Your friend may have been holding jealousy in for several years about your appearance and attractiveness to other guys. The breakup between you and her friend may have served as an excuse for her to finally express these feelings. Because your ex-boyfriend was also her friend, she may have had stronger feelings for him than she actually displayed, and it angered her through sympathy for your ex-boyfriend. Although there could be many reasons for this "blowup" to happen, it really shouldn't have. When you think about it, close, dependable friends (such as you thought she was) should be there for you through anything. I would not only leave your ex-boyfriend behind, but also your friend as well. There are plenty of friendly, caring, and thoughtful people out there that are willing to be your divorce buddy, and would stand by you no matter what happens. There are also some decent guys that wouldn't even think of treating you in such a way as your ex-boyfriend. Leave this whole entangled mess behind and find yourself a new group of buddies! Good luck :) !

[margarita_momma]

Thank you so much for you answer tkdgal. Since I have asked this question, I haven't had any contact with my ex-best friend or my ex-boyfriend. My life has been much easier to handle and all the drama is finally over. Thanks again for your answer.

[s_cianci]

She may have been a little jealous of you. After all, if you really are "pretty, big boobed, skinny and blonde" and had been dating one of her male friends, there might have been a little resentment on her part, through no fault of your own as you did nothing wrong. Despite her insecurities when it came to you, you may have been someone to keep her company when she had the need but then was taken in by your ex's lies and went over the edge. I'd just chalk this one up to experience and find some new friends who aren't as insecure.