[Mills2scale]

My story is not a new one. I got married young (17) I'm now 24, and I have three children. My relationship with my husband has always been rocky. I've experience more struggle than joy. And have been put low on his priority list. Over the last six years of marriage his behavior towards me has been more of duty and tolerance then that of love. Because of my husband’s actions and lack there of; I’ve realized that for many years (+3yrs) his friend has been more of a husband figure to me than my spouse. Recently, I’ve become really close to this other man and we have both agreed that we want to be in a relationship together, but not until my marriage is dissolved.
I have minimal mental/emotional connections with my husband. Basically I'm with him because of the kids. Everything came to a peak about two months ago, when I told him I have had enough and I want out. Since then he's become kinder but the problematic behaviors and actions are still there, just sugar coated. I’m still resolved to go ahead with a divorce. I don’t hate my husband. If anything I would like to remain his friend. He is a great man, just not the man for me. My question is, how do I go through this process so that my relationship with my husband will remain as civil as possible; especially for my kids?

Any tips/advise is greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Mills

[jrb252000]

Have you tried having a heart to heart with him explaining how you feel, or even counseling. Marrying young, you two probably had it harder than some other and having kids on top is not easy.
Trying to support a family is really hard. He is probably justed as stressed as you are. No matter what you chose to do you will always be connected because of the kids. It is hard to tell how he will react if you all split. Just try and be civil to him and he hopefully will return the favor.

[futt_less]

You will always have contact and be connected with him because of the kids. Don't wait too long to choose. Fustration, hurt, anger grows and time will pass quickly. Before you know it, kids will feel your pain , he might not be so friendly and things get harder in life before it gets better.
I hope you can work it out and relight that fire you both had. But if not, you're still young and beautiful.

[Fr_Chuck]

You don't, when it gets to the part of child custody, child support and division of property, I doubt if anything will be friendly.

I guess if you let him have the kids, let him keep all of the property and pay him child support it may be better than otherwise