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rachellouise5358 · Aug 2, 2007, 01:38 AM

OK, Ive been looking at similar posts to what I'm about to write but most of them involve it being the female that is the one that wants a break. We have been together for 13 months now but from the start my boyfriend just pretty much lived at why house until I went away for 3 months to work but when I came back sis the same.

So me and my boyfriend have been having a few arguments over the past couple of months, we always make up but there was once where he said he wanted a couple of days on his own to think, after that we were good and we decided that we should spend a night apart each week which was fine but it never actually happened. Anyway he has now said to me that he wants two weeks apart to think about things and think about what it is he wants, I wrote him a letter to explain my feelings and what it is that I would like from the two weeks apart and what I would like to happen if we are still together at the end, he cried and hugged me really tight and told me that I had answered everything perfectly and that he does love me.

We have decided that we are going to see each other once or twice a week over the two weeks to go back to dating as we never really did that, he also said that he would call me at night for general catch up and just to support each other. Anyway I guess I'm really after some guys advice on what could be going through his head and what could possibly happen??

Also one of his friends who is also his boss at work always seems to stir at our relationship, the latest being he has told my boyfriend that this girl he knows likes him and that he should just basically tell me that he doesn't want to be with me and to go with her instead. My boyfriend has reassured me that he doesn't like this girl in that way and its just this guy stirring things like he always does but what concerns me is that my boyfriend doesn't really make a point of asking him to stop he says he just ignores him but I'm afraid he's getting to him?

I look forward to hearing some answers
Xxx

GlindaofOz · Aug 2, 2007, 04:51 AM

To be honest it sounds like you rushed into a pretty serious relationship without really knowing one another. Maybe he just wants to slow everything down and try to recapture that dating period that the too of you should have had.

It's easy for people to get wrapped up in the excitement of a new relationship and kind of dive in head first without thinking maybe he sort of wiped the stardust out of his eyes and realized that he is on a speeding train.

I was in a similar situation, so I'm not judging. I was heart broken when he said he wanted a break but the more time we spent apart the more I realized I really didn't know him and we really rushed into a serious relationship without really dating. We both talked about it and agreed we were trying to escape something through one another and ended the relationship all together.

I say give him his space for 2 weeks, don't contact him let him really have his space and see what happens. He clearly needs space to figure out what he really wants from the relationship. Unlike women, men tend to have a hard time figuring out a relationship while inside it all day every day.

Keep you head up about it. Remember, if its meant to be it will work out if not all that means is that there is someone WAY better out there who will love you like crazy.

rachellouise5358 · Aug 2, 2007, 05:02 AM

Thank you that was a really nice post, I know we rushed into things but I let it happen even though I was the one who was a little overwhelmed at first. I've told him that I won't contact him and its up to him if he wants to talk to me, we're on pretty good terms, I gave him a book to read through about getting fun back in a relationship, he was really happy that I'm trying to help and understand so I think that's a good sign :)

GlindaofOz · Aug 2, 2007, 05:06 AM

Well sometimes its so easy to get swept up, I still can't believe how swept up I got in that boyfriend, its so isn't something I would have normally done but at that point I needed to be swept away.

I'm glad you are still on good terms. I really do hope everything works out for you.

talaniman · Aug 2, 2007, 05:15 AM

Usually when breaks occur one or the other is not happy, and instead of honest communication, they leave for a while. Give him what he wants, and make sure your life is balanced with work, and friends and you can be happy without him. To often we fall so fast and deep in a relationship we lose the life that makes us happy, and focus too much on the partner, to the detriment of SELF. Whether he come back or not, make sure your in a healthy, happy place.