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    chapples7's Avatar
    chapples7 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 3, 2005, 12:23 PM
    Is this right and what can I do?
    I have had physical custody of my three children since my seperation and divorce in 2002. I have just taken my ex back to court for child support and to change the fact that I do all the driving for him to see the kids we live 2 and a half hours from each other. In the hearing my ex told the judge that he wants to get custody and now today i get the orders for a GAL to investagate custody. doesn't my ex have to file a motion not just tell the judge don't i have the right to object to him trying for custody. my ex never even said on what grounds he thinks that custody should be changed what can I do? :confused:
    secretinlife's Avatar
    secretinlife Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 19, 2005, 07:24 AM
    Show him that you are the best mother in the world! I think it shall do.
    shenda's Avatar
    shenda Posts: 160, Reputation: 21
    Junior Member

    Aug 19, 2005, 07:32 AM
    Yes, he has such right
    Family court is a little less formal within the judiciary system. Fear not... the investigation will assess the environment in which the children are living. The safety and well-fare of the children will determine the course of the investigation. If your children are properly sought after, you have nothing to fear; however, if your ex-husband desires custody to avoid paying of child support, request an investigation of your own concerning your ex's ability to sustain and maintain the well-fare of your children.
    serialwife's Avatar
    serialwife Posts: 117, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member

    Aug 19, 2005, 08:34 AM
    Welcome to the world of family court. Anyone can say they want custody and the judge by law has to investigate. What happens is that either a GAL or a social worker like myself will be assigned to do a home study. In that situation we come out to each home and evaluate how well bond the child is to the parents, the condition and safety of home, physical and mental health history, substance abuse history, run a criminal background check, and depending on the age of the child ask them where the want to live. I do at least 1 of these a week. It slows down the child support process and rarely lead to anything more that joint custody. Don't worry when the GAL comes to your home just be yourselves and be honest.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member

    Aug 20, 2005, 06:13 AM
    As others have said, just be yourself.
    I also would suggest, that if you can afford it, get yourself a lawyer.
    This does sound like a "play" by him to keep from paying child support.
    Another thing, you should not have to take them to see him... he should have to come pick them up himself. Whoever let this happen was not thinking about laws.
    If you could have had a lawyer at this hearing, this turn of events would probably not have happened. The lawyer probably could have kept the hearing focused on what you wanted, not letting him change it to something else.
    You really need a lawyer. Talk with one, find out the approx. cost involved, and get some legal advice.
    Best of luck,
    chapples7's Avatar
    chapples7 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 24, 2005, 07:28 AM
    I have had 3 GALs before this time and always custody is awarded to me that is not my worrie I am just so tierd of him doing this to me and to the children our son knows what is going on because his father tells him he is 8 years old and dos not need to be worrieing about this stuff. Thank you for all the replays
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member

    Aug 25, 2005, 05:19 AM
    You are quite welcome for the replies. I do sincerely hope everything works out OK.
    Best of luck,
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member

    Aug 31, 2005, 04:43 PM
    Normally your ex would have to file a motion in Family Court if he wishes to seek custody of your kids. As with any civil law matter, your ex would have to show, by "a preponderance of the evidence" why he should be awarded custody. Failing to do so the judge would deny his petition for custody. However, the judge may order that you and your ex share joint custody and there's probably little you can do to stop this, other than attempt to convince the judge why joint custody should not be an option. Unfortunately, this will be much harder to do. As for the issue of you driving the kids to see him, unless the visitation order (if there is one) stipulates who is to bear responsibility for the kids' transportation and to what extent each of you is responsible, then that's something that has to be worked out between the two of you. Although your dissatisfaction with the fact that you've been totally responsible for the kids' transportation thus far is certainly justified, that is in no way grounds for you to deny your ex visitation. Similarly, the fact that he's been lax with his support payments even to the point where you've had to take him to court doesn't give you the right to deny visitation either. Situations like these are best worked out by involving the courts as little as possible as this is generally easiest on everyone involved. However, when a non-custodial parent becomes lax with child support payments (assuming that there is a support order) or a custodial parent attempts to deny or interfere with visitation, court battles inevitably result. When motions are filed for child support, visitation, custody, etc. each issue is decided independently of the others. For example, his past history with child support payments will not in any way influence the judge's decision regarding visitation. The issue of custody, however, will address, among other things, your ex's financial stability and his failure to be prompt with support payments may suggest financial instability on his part which will weigh against him as the judge considers the case for custody. Hope this helps.

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