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WendieAnn · Jul 30, 2007, 01:39 AM

Here is my problem. I love sex but some how can't relax during sex,but not only that its been at least 6 months sense I orgasmed.I love my husband dearly. But I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I can get wet just I can't relax. Its so frustrating!

CaptainRich · Jul 30, 2007, 05:29 AM

Daily stress. Deadlines looming. Upcoming appointments. A lot of things can contribute. What's hubby doing to help or have you told him (guy's can be so unaware) ?

LearningAsIGo · Jul 30, 2007, 05:51 AM

Are you on birth control pills or another prescribed method? Pills especially can cause a drop in physical and emotional libido.

smoothy · Jul 30, 2007, 06:10 AM

The fact you can't relax is why you can't orgasm. Figure out what the source of stress is so you can defuse it and you will likely solve the problem. Few women can orgasm when they are stressed out.

Curlyben · Jul 30, 2007, 06:24 AM

One word
PORN!! ;)

WendieAnn · Jul 30, 2007, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by LearningAsIGo

Are you on birth control pills or another prescribed method? Pills especially can cause a drop in physical and emotional libido.

Yes I am on BC. About 6 months ago I was put on a new pill. But I have never had this problem before... so it is a little odd.

Originally Posted by CaptainRich

Daily stress. Deadlines looming. Upcoming appointments. Alot of things can contribute. What's hubby doing to help or have you told him (guy's can be so unaware) ?

Well I have talked to him. He has tried different things... but no anvil. :/

Originally Posted by Curlyben

One word
PORN !!!! ;)

Sometimes that does help... but not always.

Kattalover · Jul 30, 2007, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by WendieAnn

About 6 months ago I was put on a new pill.

You also state that it's been six months since you last had an orgasm. There might be a connection there. Why were you put on a new pill?

WendieAnn · Jul 30, 2007, 11:10 AM

Originally Posted by Kattalover

You also state that it's been six months since you last had an orgasm. There might be a connection there. Why were you put on a new pill?

Because the other was to high of a dosage for me.And it was causing me to be severely depressed. Now I'm on a low dose because.

Kattalover · Jul 30, 2007, 11:16 AM

Normally, people don't suddenly go from having satisfying sex to anorgasmic for no reason. There is something going on medically/mentally/emotionally, so I'm wondering what started occurring six months ago and is keeping you from enyoying sex to this day.

You state in your signature that you want a baby but your husband wants to wait a couple of years. Is this the only point where you disagree? Are there communication issues? Financial strains? Have you started a new job? Is there anything that turns you off in your or your husband's physical appearance?

WendieAnn · Jul 30, 2007, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by Kattalover

Normally, people don't suddenly go from having satisfying sex to anorgasmic for no reason. There is something going on medically/mentally/emotionally, so I'm wondering what started occurring six months ago and is keeping you from enyoying sex to this day.

You state in your signature that you want a baby but your husband wants to wait a couple of years. Is this the only point where you disagree? Are there communication issues? Financial strains? Have you started a new job? Is there anything that turns you off in your or your husband's physical appearance?

Well no. I can wait, right now the baby thing is not an issue.Right now we are having a bit of money problems. I really don't like the way I look at the moment... I'm 10-15 pounds over weight. And I'm trying to lose it. I think my husband looks fine.

GlindaofOz · Jul 30, 2007, 11:30 AM

It may be related to the new pill since it started as you began taking a new pill. I'd talk to your GYN and see what else can be done.

Kattalover · Jul 30, 2007, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by WendieAnn

I'm 10-15 pounds over weight.

Welcome to America, hon! I moved here in 2000 from Germany and packed on 30 pounds, 20 of which I've managed to lose. I'm working on the remaining 10. LOL

Anyway... I imagine your weight gain has something to do with the problem. My guess would be that you feel self-conscious and that's why you can't relax and enjoy sex like you used to.

Just my 2 cents.

WendieAnn · Jul 30, 2007, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by Kattalover

Welcome to America, hon! I moved here in 2000 from Germany and packed on 30 pounds, 20 of which I've managed to lose. I'm working on the remaining 10. LOL

Anyway... I imagine your weight gain has something to do with the problem. My guess would be that you feel self-conscious and that's why you can't relax and enjoy sex like you used to.

Just my 2 cents.

I'm very self-conscious now (and always was in the past). But right now I do feel ugly.

dcole · Jul 30, 2007, 11:55 PM

Originally Posted by WendieAnn

I'm very self-conscious now (and always was in the past). But right now I do feel ugly.

Awe hun, you look adorable in your posted pic! From your remark, I'm guessing that's the real issue behind your lack of sex drive and not being able to climax. Maybe you could try building yourself esteem by exercising - not to just lose weight, but I find it to be a great tension releaser and incredibly uplifting when those endorphins finally kick in. Start a gratitude journal about the things that you are happy about in yourself and in your life. You'll realise that your sense of happiness is based on so much more than only outward personal appearance. Everyone is beautiful in there own special way - you are too!