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MMM111 · Jul 25, 2007, 11:45 AM

Hello I am currently 16 I have had problems with my mom my dad does not have the money to get me into the court to get me to talk to the judge is tehre anyway I can be with my dad with out talking to the judge or getting some fast way that I can do it I live IN IL

christy9800 · Jul 25, 2007, 11:56 AM

No. Everything has to be legal. And that's with any state. When I was 16, I ran away from home and went to my dads' house. I was ARRESTED and taken to a juvenile detention center because my mom had FULL LEGAL CUSTODY of me. Don't do anything stupid. You make sure everything is done in the Judges' eyes! What is so bad at your moms house to where you want to live w/ur dad? And, how long have your parents's been divorced? The only reason I'm asking, is cause I did A LOT of crap at your age, and I guess I'm hoping to help you if needed.

MMM111 · Jul 27, 2007, 04:56 PM

Well Sir I am just not getting along with my mom or my 2 other sisters I need to get out and move on with my life and my dad is willing to help me with that my mom is wanting me to stay in and be a kid I mean I'm 16 and I don't even have my license and the divorce is recent we are maybe 2 months into it and I'm wanting to change the judges eyes now but do I really got to wait till I'm 18 caus ei mean I had a friend let me crash at his place for 4 days he did more for me then my mom probably will ever

s_cianci · Jul 31, 2007, 10:06 AM

It doesn't cost money to file a motion in court. It only costs money to hire an attorney. That's always the best way to go but you can go to court without an attorney. You father can petition for custody of you. He may or may not get it. At your age, your desire to be with your father would carry some weight but wouldn't be the do-all, end-all.

christy9800 · Jul 31, 2007, 10:25 AM

Ok.. not to be mean, but I'm a woman.. lol! Anyway, trust me! I know what I had to go through when I pulled the same thing at 16. Now, I know here in Indiana after your 12th birthday, you have the decision which parent you want to live with. If it's not like that where you live, then unfortunately, your mom would have to agree to give up sole custody of you to your father. But trust me, don't be stupid and run away or just up and pack and go to your fathers house. (Which is the same thing). EVERYTHING in a matter like this WOULD HAVE to be done in the court of law. And if you do something like that like run, not only would you be putting your mother in an awful situation, but yourself AND your father! Good luck to you and I hope everything goes well! And by the way, not to burst your bubble, but at 16, technically you are still a kid, honey. Don't try to grow up to fast. Later, you'll regret it!

sGt HarDKorE · Jul 31, 2007, 10:34 AM

I know how you feel, I really don't like my mom an I would love to live with my dad, but I can't do anything about it...

MMM111 · Aug 2, 2007, 11:18 AM

Well wait a motion? Sorry I do not understand everything everyone is saying a motion? Meaning like a pettiton or what I don't know the laws in IL can someoen put me in the right direction to finding the laws

GoldieMae · Aug 2, 2007, 11:25 AM

MMM,

Here's what you can do to answer your questions. Get the number for the Clerk of Juvenile Courts in your area, call them up, tell them you would like to change your custodial parent, and ask them what your dad needs to file. They may be able to help you out. If your dad needs to file it in a different court, they will probably tell you which court. It may also help to have your dad on the phone at the same time you call. He would probably be the one they would prefer to talk to anyway, since he is a legal adult. I can't guarantee the no-name clerk on the other end will take you seriously without your dad also being on the phone.

A petition and a motion are both documents filed with the court that ask the court to do something for you. However, it will cost some money to file (usually between $65 and $200).

There are others you can contact in your area, such as Department of children's services who may also be able to help answer your questions. Generally, those departments are a nightmare to deal with, and may not be very helpful at all, so I would only do that as a last resort.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 2, 2007, 01:29 PM

You father will have to file a motion ( petition the court) for a change in the custody agreement that is in place. Basically he files for custody of you.

He will have to show the court it is in your best interest, and you mom can fight it. You do have the right to tell the judge what you want, but the judge will still decide what they believe is best for you.

But it has to go to court ( unless your mom will just let you go)

MMM111 · Aug 3, 2007, 12:47 AM

Well that is another thing it starts paying and its all botu money illed be wasting money when I can wait about 2 years and be out for free I just don't know if I can do it but it does answer my question what I need to do get so I can get out of my moms house I will call a few people and get more information on it but I still would like to know the laws and so far to put on my mom to back her off a little of her power she has right now

s_cianci · Aug 3, 2007, 05:08 AM

We can't really answer specifics about "the laws" per se, as they vary from state to state and most of us are not attorneys. But in general, once a custody order has been issued, it requires extenuating circumstances in order for it to be modified. In your case, evidently your mom has had custody of you ever your parents split. I don't know if it's ever been mentioned in this thread whether that's by court order or just because you happened to stay with you mom. Actually, if it's not by court order, then legally there's nothing to bar you from going and being with your dad on your own. But if it's by court order, there's nothing you can do until the order is modified. It would be up to your dad to petition the court for a modification of the custody order. As Goldie Mae pointed out, there may be some nominal fees involved in doing this. A lawyer, while not essential, would certainly help as well, but as you know that costs $$. Anyway, if your father were to petition the court for a modification of the custody order, a hearing would be scheduled and the judge would hear your father's arguments as to why the order should be modified and he should be given custody of you. Likewise, your mother would argue why the order shouldn't be modified and she should retain custody of you. But, as Fr. Chuck stated, if your mom were willing to let you go, then she could just testify to that effect and not contest your father's action. The judge would hear your input too, that you want to go and live with your dad and why. Then, after all the evidence has been presented, the judge will make a decision based on what (s)he presumes to be in your best interests. That may include granting your father's petition and modifying the custody order or denying your father's petition and keeping the custody order the way it is. Nobody can really predict what would happen as it is not a cut-and-dry situation in any state and the judge has considerable latitude when arriving at his/her decision. However, if you want to stack the odds in your father's favor, it would certainly pay for him to have a well-seasoned, experienced family lawyer representing him. You can also try to persuade your mom to voluntarily let you go and not contest any change in custody that your father would propose. Other than that, it's anybody's guess as to what can happen.