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HaRLoS · Jul 25, 2007, 08:49 AM

MY boyfriend and I, keep fighting about this one girl who is a REALLY big Wh0re. They Have been friend since he was 14. He is now 23. I told him that I don't trust her cause I know that she wants in his pants. He said okay and told her not to call him anymore. She still calls him, EVERYDAY! I trust my boyfriend completely and I know he would never cheat on me. I just don't trust this girl. Plus I do not want wh0res calling him. He will not let me tell her off. You have no idea how angry it makes me when she calls him and her name pops up on his phone when I'm with him. It just keeps pissing me off. My question is, am I wrong for not wanting her to call him? Even though they have been friends for a long time? They don't hang out, she just calls. It just drives me completely insane. We always fight about her. And I'm afraid that if we keep fighting about her, we are going to break up over it, and I don't want that.

HELP!

GlindaofOz · Jul 25, 2007, 08:55 AM

It sounds like her mission is accomplished. If she is into him (which lets face it women KNOW when another women likes their boyfriend) she wants to drive a big, fat wedge in your relationship. She is probably purposefully causing trouble in the hopes you get fed up and leave so then she can sidle on in and pick him up.

Every time she calls or he brings her up try to not let it bother you. As they say you can't change people only how you react. Try to get a little message in your head that is just "she is a pathetic loser and I will not allow her to destroy my relationship" you are giving her WAY too much power. Focus on keeping your relationship healthy and alive.

HaRLoS · Jul 25, 2007, 09:05 AM

Thanks! But if he told her to stop calling why is she still calling? SHE IS SO STUPID! I have a mutual friend calling her for me to tell her not to call. And if she does not stop than is it wrong for me to pay a personal visit to her at her work and be really polite in a rude way?

GlindaofOz · Jul 25, 2007, 09:36 AM

I would just stay out of it - I wouldn't even have your friend call her. She wants to get a rise out of you and you are eating out of her hand. Act like it doesn't bother you. This is your boyfriends problem - she is not calling you she is calling HIM.

It should be HIS job to tell her that she is calling too much and to be firm with her.

You need to act like this is nothing or else you are going to look crazy! You should never go to someone's job and confront them. Just be a lady about it and let her keep acting like a tramp. Once she sees that you could care less what she does since you trust your boyfriend she will hopefully move on and try to wreck someone else's relationship.

Nosnosna · Jul 25, 2007, 09:46 AM

I'll tell you this straight out:

If a girl I'm dating tells me she doesn't want me to talk to a friend I've had for years, no matter what the reason, then what she's told me is that she doesn't trust me. Period, full stop, end of story. More so than anything else she could ever say, including the words "I don't trust you."

If a girl I'm dating calls a friend of mine names, like you are in your post, that tells me that she's jealous and doesn't want me to have any other female friends. She doesn't want to share my attention with anybody.

So yeah, I'd say you're wrong. You say you trust your boyfriend, but your actions say you don't trust him, and you want to control who he's friends with. That's a Very Bad Thing (TM).

workcherrie · Jul 25, 2007, 10:10 AM

Just an opinion... I wouldn't trust it myself(comming from someone who has been cheeted on a lot!) from my experiences when a guy says he has told some one not to call and they still do... he didn't tell them at all and do you know it's just phone calls? Because you know your not with him 24/7 and it only takes a minute right. I don't know just from what I've been through.

Canada_Sweety · Jul 25, 2007, 10:15 AM

If you trust him, then trust him to not let her get in his pants. Trust him to have female friends (whores or otherwise) and you getting your friend to call her and telling her to back off.... kinda doesn't sound like trust AT ALL. Not trying to say you're insecure or anything, but maybe you guys need to do some talking, like hardcore talking.

Kattalover · Jul 25, 2007, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by HaRLoS

I trust my boyfriend completly and i know he would never cheat on me. I just don't trust this girl.

I'm confused.

What does your lack of trust in this girl have to do with anything?

You say you're convinced that your boyfriend would never cheat on you, so it doesn't matter how often this girl calls him, what she tells him on the phone, or what kind of life she leads. However, I have a feeling that what others have already mentioned is true and that you don't really trust your boyfriend.

nicespringgirl · Jul 25, 2007, 10:29 AM

Look at your case this way, it is a good chance to find out if he is trustful, the "big whore" is testing for you. Think this way, makes you feel a little bit less intense and it's time for you to find out if he is faithful or not.
I don't want to rush to conlusion,but it's a test, as I said, just leave it then see if you get more out of it. You might realize your boyfriend is a faithful person, or not. If not, it's time for you to make a final decision if it is worth of being with him.

shatteredsoul · Jul 25, 2007, 10:56 AM

I agree with nicespring girl because this is a test of his faith and honesty in your relationship. The reason she keeps calling is because it is getting the best of you. She gets much more attention from you being mad than if you acted like you didn't care at all. I am not saying it shouldn't bother you because she is untrustworthy, but she is also a trouble maker who knows how to push your buttons. Don't let her have so much control over how you feel about him. If she needs to call him, than fine. IF he isn't seeing her or sleeping with her, you really are making it worse by getting so upset. Tell your friends or someone else when it bugs you but don't let it interfere with your relationship. The more you fight with him, the more you push him to talk to her and complain about you being so jealous and insecure. If you know you trust him and he loves you, than really she is grasping for straws. Don't let her get the best of you. Trust your man until he gives you a reason not to. When she calls, act like you don't even care. Maybe he will lose interest in taking her calls if he realizes you are mature enough to handle it when she does call. THis will work out OK, if it is supposed to. If she gets him in bed, than you know you are better off without him anyway. Don't stress over something that hasn't happened yet, you make it more likely to happen by worrying about it.

HaRLoS · Jul 26, 2007, 08:42 AM

Thanks SO much! You guys are all right. I talked to him. We're fine, and he told me that if I want I can talk to her nicely and tell her not to call as much, everyday? That's too much. She is just doing it to bug me. And he realizes it now too. Cause he knows she wants him. So he called her and told her (while I was there) that there is nothing between the two of them and she doesn't have to call so much.

ss4gilpin · Jul 26, 2007, 03:35 PM

It takes two to tango if they have been mates for ages I think you at least ow it to them to talk its only fair
So I'm going to have to say I think you may be wrong this time (but you should tell him how much it anoyes you they may be two sides to the story)

talaniman · Jul 27, 2007, 08:59 AM

You are wrong being insecure about his friend and even worse giving her the power to come between you two. THIRD strike, having some one intervene on your behalf. Ignore her, and don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she is bugging you. Choosing his friends will do you no good, and its his decision to say who he talks to. If the situation causes you to be unhappy, then you need to decide if this drama and mind games are worth it.

Foxy459459 · Jul 27, 2007, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by HaRLoS

MY boyfriend and I, keep fighting about this one girl who is a REALLY big Wh0re. They Have been friend since he was 14. he is now 23. I told him that i don't trust her cause i know that she wants in his pants. He said okay and told her not to call him anymore. she still calls him, EVERYDAY! I trust my boyfriend completly and i know he would never cheat on me. I just don't trust this girl. plus i do not want wh0res calling him. He will not let me tell her off. You have no idea how angry it makes me when she calls him and her name pops up on his phone when im with him. it just keeps pissing me off. My question is, am I wrong for not wanting her to call him? even tho they have been friends for a long time? They don't hang out, she just calls. It just drives me completly insane. We always fight about her. and im afraid that if we keep fighting about her, we are going to break up over it, and I don't want that.

HELP!

I don't think that you are wrong about being a little bit jealous, but you have to understand something. If they have been friends for that many years that's not fair for you to step in and say that she has to go just because you're his girlfriend. How would you feel if the situation was revirsed? If you had a guy friend of 14years and he said you couldn't talk to him anymore. And the reason why I bet she is still calling him is because she is afraid she is going to lose a good friend. I have a lot of guy friends and if my boyfriend ever told me that I couldn't talk to them anymore because of there gender I would have to tell him good bye. If you love him then trust him.

Canada_Sweety · Jul 27, 2007, 01:35 PM

That's super great:D I'm happy you guys worked everything out.