[wijette]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. All of a "sudden", he doesn't feel like being intamite with me... this has been going on for the past 7 months. But he'll be "sneaky" and look at porn online,but still doesn't "want anything to do with me".
When I try and be "mushy" and stuff with him, at anytime, he pushes me away.
Please help! :( :(

[Haplo]

How old are the two of you?

[wijette]

We are both 40

[Haplo]

Have you discussed the porn with him? While I don't necessarily agree that porn is addictive or destructive, it certainly seems to be a symptom of whatever's ailing your relationship.

What else has happened? Changes like this in a relationship don't tend to happen in a vaccuum. Has there been other strife?

[wijette]

When I mention about the porn,he tries to deny it, so to save an argument, I just leave the subject alone.
We've had some stress happen in our lives for afew months awhile ago,but things are OK now.
He tells me that he wants to be with me and that he loves me a lot,but this "non intamacy" is really bothering me because I can't help but think that I'm the one that is somehow making him push me away.

[Haplo]

The problem with "saving an argument" is that it doesn't really bring the problem out to be talked about. Have you told him what you've told us? That his lack of intimacy and sexual contact with you is hurting you and confusing you?

[Shybliss18]

Talk to him about it. Have him sit down with you and talk about why he is acting like this towards you and try to find a way to work things out.

[talaniman]

Okay, I'll bite, how can you expect imtimacy, and even sex from someone you can't talk to? That's where finding stuff out about your partner starts at.