[tinkerpan]

My mohter is in a home and wants to beat peace with herself. She has been goging downhill for a few months.
She has a livign will and it states dnr. But they have her on thickened liquids. I don't believe this si anatural way to drink. All she wants is her pepsi! I am poa and they said I could sign papers and she could have her water etc. then they came ( the home) came back and said they do not do that anymore. And I could give her liquids but they would not. Only the honey liquids.
I have been going with my baby and bringing her ice in a toddlers cupand giving her water and feeling horrible. But I feel she is beign forced to live . Is it what god would want for her to be pushed to drink something that is not natural?
Is this like beign pout on a feeedign tube. My mother feels like it is . I feel like it is.
Anyone have a take on this?

[J_9]

DNR (Do Not Recusitate) means that no heroic measures are to be taken should she suffer from, say a heart attack. They can't do CPR on her, etc.

Starving oneself is a very painful way to go.

I lost my father a month ago. He was on comfort measures only. This meant that he was on his feeding tube and any measures that took away his pain, but that is all.

There comes a time when we have to make decisions. If she is of sound mind, her doctors should listen to her. If not, then since you have POA, they should abide by your wishes. Understand though that withholding the liquid feedings will put her in pain and discomfort. Is this something that you can live with for the rest of your life after she passes? Knowing that you starved her to death?

Think hard about this. It is not an easy decision and will effect you for the rest of your life.

[tinkerpan]

I'm not refusing liquids I just want to have the normal stuff like water. This is what she wants.
It is very hard on me at this point. I have no family to help. Wel they help rom miles away. And they all agree she should have her water or soda if she really wants to. Knowing she could die drinking it . She knows what will happen and said she would rather die then to drink that stuff.
She tried to kill herself before they started this thickened drinking. Now it I s worst.
I just want my mother to be a peace.
I am a product of an older mom. She had me when she was 42. Now I am 42. We actually were on t.v. on surviving mohter hood and the story was about me and my mother and how I was a fraid I would become her and was a fraid of havign my baby hunter cause he too would be like me a product of an older parent. They just reshowed it this week. I cried. I cried the first time a year ago.
All I can do is ask god for help.

[J_9]

What is worse? It could be because she is NOT drinking her liquid nutrition.

Make an appointment with her doctor to discuss her care.

[Topmodel]

If I were you, If that's what she wants then give it to her. If its meant for her to live longer The Lord will allow it, if its not, its just not. She's already lived past the age that very few people see. God is not like us at all. He knows when we will die. I'm 23. I don't know if I will live to see tomorrow. We just don't know and I'm perfectly healthy. There is no such thing as keeping someone alive longer than what is intended. We were given a death date before we are conceived. We will pass away one day.

Im not trying to be mean by any means but as long as she has a relationship with God, when she does pass, she will be in a way way way better place. Heck, I would rather be in heaven now than here on earth. I appreciate being here but when I read about heaven and know how sweet God is, You get the picture. I learned a long time ago when My grandpa died that he was going to go one day. Of coarse I missed him, but that's the only, I mean the only reason why I shed some tears. You will see her again and she should enjoy herself before time is up

[tickle]

Tinkerbell, you have to sit down with the nursing staff and doctor and have your mom's care explained to you. It is called a careplan and should take place once a year to bring family up to date on meds, etc.

Your mom is being offered thickened liquids for a particular reason and that is they are easier for her to swallow. This is not uncommon. I know its hard to realize, but she may gag and choke on just plain water and I don't think pepsi would be good for her stomach.

A DNR order will not allow a feeding tube but at the same time they have to make her as comfortable as possible and that includes making sure she is not in distress.

I understand the nursing home's attitude, if you want to give her water then you have to sign a waiver saying you will not hold them responsible should she become distressed.