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logan007 · Jul 20, 2007, 03:23 AM

Was with my ex for about 11 months when her usual patterns started to change, avoiding calls, absurdly busy etc so I suspected her of cheating, I didn't confront her as I had no evidence at the time but now I've found out that she has been seeing sum1 else for the past month and I feel humiliated, I never really asked for much apart from honesty but she couldn't tell me the truth then go off and do her thing she played me, so as you can imagine I'm pissed and heartbroken.
Its hit me quite hard as I've known the girl for years and we've had so many deep intimate conversations that to find out it was all a lie a game is a big blow. Thinking about this situation fills me with rage and I'm seriously thinking of finding the new guy and beating him like he owes me money, I can't stand the thought of them thinking they got one over on me. Some good advice would be appreciated??

Logan

mckenzie134 · Jul 20, 2007, 04:46 AM

Same thing happen to me bro was with the girl 4 years. I recovered and I can tell you now it was the best thing that ecer happened tome. Didn't seem like it t the time felt terible, humiliated, and depressed but you WILL realise if someone cheats on you then you are lucky to find this out cause if you end up with a cheater it will totally ruin your life. Problem is they seem so honest then bang, cheating!! Better you foundout after 11 months rather than years. So count yourself lucky and pick yourself up. Don't worry about her if she didit to you she will do it to him. Oncethey are cheaters always cheaters normally theyare insecure that is the problem...

Broker Bill · Jul 20, 2007, 04:52 AM

Stay away from both of them. If you find you can't help yourself from spying on them... get immediate help (couselor) as they deal with this all the time.

You will heal. You will. You will also remember... You feel violated. Cheated. Her disloyalty isn't about you though. It is her problem... and whom ever falls in love with her. Stay clear. Emotionally detach.

You should feel good that your instincts were right on. It is best you found out now that she could not provide you the loyalty you desirve. This discovery saved you thousands of dollars and much more heart ache than you are experiencing now.

As men... we must remember who we lie down with may be another man's heart throb. We need to treat each other like brothers and not indiscriminately sleep with the neighbor's wife.

Revenge is a sickness and will not heal. Don't go there. Seek help and learn to heal. Move on... find woman worthy of your commitments. Simply put... she is not worthy.

Good luck to you...

gp_17 · Jul 20, 2007, 04:57 AM

I know your hurt and Very angry. But I wouldn't stoup to there level. Just make sure she knows that she's missing out on being with u. Go out and find another girl. And if she tries to ring u, just say oh sorry I'm busy, I'm going out to see my girlfriend. You don't have to take my advise, but I just don't think it's a good idea to beat him up, because it will make her feel good knowing she has 2 men fighting over her. Good luck babe xxxx

SAB123 · Jul 20, 2007, 05:28 AM

I would not, this new guy may not no she had a boyfriend. That's like you finding new girl and she has a boyfriend and you don't know she has a boyfriend. Then her boyfriend finds out and wants to kick your a** and you didn't even know she had one. I would move on don't give her the satisfaction you still care for her. As for her what comes around goes around.

hettie · Jul 20, 2007, 07:35 AM

I certainly wouldn't recommend beating on the new guy he may or may not have know about you either way it not woth a criminal record is it? Another thing migt be to go get yourelf checked out at the std clinic just in case at least that way you know your OK no nasty suprises later on I know that might sound dramatic but it better to be careful I would give this advice to anyone who has been cheated on as a precaution the last thing you want to do is ignore the possibility and infect someone else

Forget her she didn't know when she had it good tell yourself she will never have it this good again and comfort yourself with the fact that if he did know about you then he has to think every day she can and will cheat she did it be4 and sit basck and wait for it to happen to him good luck in the future

s_cianci · Jul 20, 2007, 12:55 PM

First of all, your issue isn't with the guy, it's with her. Secondly, don't take it personally. It's not that they "got one over on you", it's just that she didn't have the decency and courage to be honest with you. She went off with someone else rather than end things with you first and honestly tell you why. That shows a lack of character on her part. As for the guy, she was just an "available" companion and he went for it. She probably never told him about you so it's not like he did anything wrong. But I wouldn't go beating anyone like they owe you money. You now know the truth about this girl so write it off as a learning experience and move on. You might want to ask yourself if there were any red flags that you should have been wise to. If you look at the situation honestly I bet that there are some.

E12191G · Jul 20, 2007, 11:37 PM

OK well first of all its not the guys fault. Its her. She's the one who did that to you. The guy didn't do anything. Yeah he's with your ex now but hey. She went to him. He didn't put a gun to her head and say hey look, you better be with me. I'm sure thast not the case other wise hed be in jail. But yeah. If anythign don't talk to any of them. Go your own way with your life and then just go from there.

huno · Jul 20, 2007, 11:49 PM

Ditto... why are you mad at him? You should be mad at her.

But anyway you actually shouldn't be mad. Just get over it and move on. Find another girl and go on with your life.

logan007 · Jul 21, 2007, 03:28 AM

I agree with most of what you guys are saying, I just think if you let people take liberties they will continue if not me it will be someone else, she's probably thinking this sort of thing is fun and exiting little does she know I'm going to end that very swiftly.
Its not that I have a problem with the new guy, but I want to teach her a lesson, its unfortunate for him but I think if she has to follow the new boyfriend down to A&E she'll think twice before she lies like that again.
What if the guy did know I'm sure a lot of you guys have pursued a girl knowing she's got a BF it's a big ego boost if you manage to persuade her isn't it.

I'll leave it for now and see how I feel next week, I don't think I will pursue though.
Thanks

talaniman · Jul 21, 2007, 08:30 AM

At least you know you can trust your instinct, and you should chalk it up as picking the wrong person to put your trust in, and work to choose better next time. Walk away clean, as the better person and leave the dogs to their fleas.

Parajr · Jul 21, 2007, 08:55 AM

No that would be a punk's move. He won you move on to a new situation

huno · Jul 21, 2007, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by logan007

i want to teach her a lesson, its unfortunate for him but i think if she has to follow the new bf down to A&E she'll think twice before she lies like that again.

See, that's the type of mentality that puts you in prison.

Go ahead, beat the sh!t out of this guy. Put him in the county hospital. You'll end up in county jail. SHE'LL still be f**king the new guy while you're being reamed by your new husband.

Who's the winner then?

Originally Posted by logan007

What if the guy did know im sure alot of you guys have pursued a girl knowing shes got a BF its a big ego boost if you manage to persuade her isnt it.

Not really... if a girl is willing to cheat on her BF she didn't like him much to begin with. It's all fair game until there's a ring on the finger.

woh337 · Jul 21, 2007, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by huno

See, that's the type of mentality that puts you in prison.

Go ahead, beat the sh!t out of this guy. Put him in the county hospital. You'll end up in county jail. SHE'LL still be f**king the new guy while you're being reamed by your new husband.

Who's the winner then?

Not really... if a girl is willing to cheat on her BF she didn't like him much to begin with. It's all fair game until there's a ring on the finger.

U need to make it as an accident, u can't just beat the sh!t out of him. Dress like an Ninja on Holy weeee,LOL, then beat him with other ninjas. Or give him candy that has sh!t in it, just run, BUT remember wait for the right time!

Huno is back now yay! :D hey, take a look at "LOL he never talks", give me some advice please, I know u always give the best!:p

huno · Jul 21, 2007, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by woh337

U need to make it as an accident, u can't just beat the sh!t out of him. Dress like an Ninja on Holy weeee,LOL, then beat him with other ninjas. Or give him candy that has sh!t in it, just run, BUT remember wait for the right time!!

Huno is back now yay!!:D hey, take a look at "LOL he never talks", give me some advice please, I know u always give the best!:p

Hahaha... actually that's not a bad idea: make it look like some sort of accident so you don't end up taking the fall for it...

Logan, I think you're mad at the wrong person. She's the one who dumped you... he was just playing the game.

woh337 · Jul 21, 2007, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by huno

Hahaha... actually that's not a bad idea: make it look like some sort of accident so you don't end up taking the fall for it...

logan, I think you're mad at the wrong person. She's the one who dumped you... he was just playing the game.

I agree, SHE is the one. :mad:

s_cianci · Jul 21, 2007, 05:18 PM

By Logan007
I agree with most of what you guys are saying, I just think if you let people take liberties they will continue if not me it will be someone else, she's probably thinking this sort of thing is fun and exiting little does she know I'm going to end that very swiftly.
Its not that I have a problem with the new guy, but I want to teach her a lesson, its unfortunate for him but I think if she has to follow the new boyfriend down to A&E she'll think twice before she lies like that again.
What if the guy did know I'm sure a lot of you guys have pursued a girl knowing she's got a BF it's a big ego boost if you manage to persuade her isn't it.

I'll leave it for now and see how I feel next week, I don't think I will pursue though.
Thanks

It really isn't your place to "teach her a lesson." She'll learn her lessons soon enough. You don't want to do anything that'll end up getting you in trouble. She's not worth it and neither is he. Just go along with what the others have been telling you in this thread. You've been receiving good advice and the wisest thing for you to do at this point is to just go on with your life and forget all about the both of them.