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kmitch0306 · Jul 16, 2007, 11:47 AM

Why does my 17 yr old son seem to hate me. We used to do everything together. He treats me horrible if his friends are around.

rankrank55 · Jul 16, 2007, 11:52 AM

This is just the way that teens are! He is starting to become more independent and wants to be "free". This is also the age where he is certain that he knows just as much if not more than you do. I promise he doesn't hate you though; just give him some more space and guide him from a distance. Maybe you should talk with him over dinner about the way he makes you feel when he treats you badly around his friends... remind him that you have feelings too.

alkalineangel · Jul 16, 2007, 11:56 AM

He has reached the point where he is starting to test his independence. He is going to be pushing you away more and more to see how he can handle things on his own. When in front of his friends, he will want to show them that he doesn't need caring for and will in turn push you farther. He will come around. It is just the start of that bachelor-ness all men go through before they have their hearts swooped up by some young lady. Eventually, he will come back. There is always a special place in a mans heart for his Momma. Good luck and stay strong.

Wondergirl · Jul 16, 2007, 11:59 AM

From about 15 to 17, my son wouldn't even be seen with me in public. If we were standing in the same area, he hoped no one would realize we were related.

Your son is beginning to separate from you. And that's good. You've raised him well. He isn't a little kid anymore who needs his parents, but is becoming an independent adult. In order to emotionally separate from parents, kids go through a time of doing exactly what your son is doing.

You are your son's soft place to fall. He knows you will always love him, so he can take this risk as he slowly pulls away in order to become his own person.

Congratulations on doing a great job as a parent!

Skrypt · Jul 16, 2007, 01:27 PM

I can talk from current experience. I'm a 15 year old boy and just today my mom asked me if we should go to the beach sometime next week and I said I didn't want to. I know she wants to relax and all but I just wasn't feeling it, know what I mean? I guess it is normal so just give it time and space.

modular01 · Jul 16, 2007, 01:35 PM

What everyone else has said is right on the money. Kids at that age go through a rebellion stage, establish their own identity, and push away from their parents. Rest assured that this is temporary. I had a lot of conflict with my parents at that age, and now my parents and I are the best of friends. They are both disabled so I go over there weekly and keep up on their yardwork, and odds and ends around their house. He might be treating you that way around his friends because at his age he wants to show his friends that he has established a level of independence from you. Think about when you were that age. Was it cool at that age to be around the parents? I remember being 17, and my parents going on vacation, and I adamatly expressed to them the fact that I didn't want to go with them. I personally wouldn't worry about it, unless he is caught up in something that is going to hurt him or ruin his life. You're a good parent because a lot of parents these days don't keep tabs on their children or aren't there for them. You obviously posted on this website because you care and wanted answers.

Don't sweat it. =)

TerriB · Jul 19, 2007, 04:39 PM

My son is 18, just graduated from high school and for the past 4 years has been terrible to me. I love him dearly, but he hurts me so much. Sometimes he just seems to be so inmature and it feels like to me that he will never grow up. He even threatens to leave sometimes when we get into stupid arguments. I don't think that we will ever understand why they are this way. I wasn't this bad with my parents.

Canada_Sweety · Jul 19, 2007, 04:45 PM

Clearly, he is trying to gain the acceptance of his friends. I know it's ignorant and it hurts a LOT but it's something that somehow lets a teens friends know he's the guy in charge... and the guy in charge is usually the "cool guy". It's a phase, and it will pass. But if it doesn't then you remind him who you are. You remind him that YOU are the one who pushed him out and that YOU are the one who is the reason he's so well off. Heck, you could even do that now (not in front of his friends though, cause it'll make everything so much worse). Good Luck and I Hope Your Son Learns Some R-E-S-P-E-C-T soon.:)