[lifeshard123]

I need help because I don't like life and I have thoughts of dying. Im a shy person face to face. The only way I will ever get help is if I talk to someone online. Someone please help. Thanks ahead of time.

[rankrank55]

What is going on sweetie?

[lifeshard123]

I don't know if you want to read this all but here I go

I'm 14 yrs old. I'm a average kid and I love sports a lot and some video games. My home life is pretty good. I have both parents and siblings. I live in a normal house with a pool so I do have fun. Now here is the problem. School. I can't take it. I failed the regents with a 60 and my parents are putting so much pressure on me. I have to retake the test sometime this summer. If I pass I move on to earth sience or living environment. I want to succeed. I want to have a family when I'm older. I want to have kids. I want to raise them and have them be very happy. I want a good job. I want all of this. I do my homework most of the time. I mean it gets hard but I still do it. My best friend which is the one I'm the realest with lives right next to me. He is barely home anymore because of work he has to do with his parents at his restaurant. So the fun lessened down a lot. I have other friends but still. I like girls I'm not gay or anything like that. Back to the regents. If I fail it I will be left back. No one in my family ever got left back. All of them were smart and nice. I barely study. I act like I study but I don't. I know I should and I know that it's the only way. But my parents didn't raise me the right way when I was little. They think making me a cool kid when I'm little like teaching me the middle finger and all that and letting me get away with things and not making me read or be a smart kid when I was little wouldn't pay off. Because of that I'm lazy about school. If I fail the regents I might want to kill myself. I'm sorry. I know you people are probably going to say study its not a big deal just do it. Or go to a learning thing. But I know I won't do that so help. I know god put us on this earth for a reason. I know all that. I am christian. Everyday I think of how to kill myself but I'm to scared to. I don't want to go to hell. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to explode. HELP thanks so much if any help in advance

[rankrank55]

You sound like you know what you want out of life and that shows you have a very wise soul! Maybe your parents could have raised you in a different way but you can't use this as an excuse as to why you are lazy; you MUST get out of that frame of mind or you will not be able to change yourself. You need to accept that you are lazy because of you. This isn't a bad thing, we all get lazy at some points in life! In order to succeed in life you have to learn how to self discipline yourself... make yourself do what you know you need to do in order to pass... to succeed! In high school this never clicked in my brain until a teacher brought it up to the class and I was like DUH I have to make myself drill sargent myself... get it. You sound like a beautiful, intelligent young guy and your life is worth living not matter if you pass a silly test or not!

[lifeshard123]

This test I'm about to take means everything to me. My dad called me a failure for failing it and now I keep thinking I'm a failure in life. I can't get it out of my head. I know you people are going to say overcome that. Its not easy. I need real words. Just can't find them.

[rankrank55]

First of all, you are not a failure... no one is! Sure it means everything to you now but in five years I can guarantee you will look back on this and say sheesh! How can you think that failing a test makes you a failure in life... it just does not! These are words coming from a student teacher!