[hayabusakid]

OK ill give you a bit of a background before I get started (sorry if this is long) I'm an 18 year old male in england. I am from a single parent family, I'm an only child, dad left me before being born, step dad beat me around the age of 5 and I now have a new step dad who I consider my dad. Ive just finished college and I'm about to start a marine engineering cadetship with a major overseas company. I think that's enough.

Right I've never had friends since I was about 12, I just have people I know. I've kissed girls etc but never had a peoper girlfried. I offend pretty easily which means I jump from any social circle when I hear something said about my appearance, about me in general etc. this has led to me having a lot of people I can talk to but no one that I can phone and say hey want to go to the pub, bowling, cinema etc. I'm quite a reclusive person and find it hard to talk to anyone and being left in a room alone with me can result in awkward silences as I can't ask the first question etc. now here is where my question lies... I don't know what to blame this on. I have thought it could be because I was hit by my step dad at a young age bt I really can't remember that, I have thort it could be as I'm an only child but lots of people are only children and they can do it. I have been told I am a good laugh when I'm out in clubs but that's mostly because I have a lot of alcohol in me and this gives me confidence. I can meet a girl in a club, dance with her, exchange numbers and then if I seen her the next day id say hello and go bright red. All I really want from life is a good group of friends and a girlfriend I can love... not too much to ask for. Now I'm moving 400 miles for college in September and I'm terrified of ending up with no friends for the full 3 years I am away... any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I also have this habit hard to explain so ill put it into an example... ok for instance if I agree to go out with a group of my mates at the weekend and for some reason one cancels and it all goes downhill and no one goes ill end up thinking about it too much and end up thinking why they cancelled. After I start listing to myself possible reasons ill get onto reasons such as what if they're pretending to cancel, what if they're really going out and they just wanted me out of the way etc. where have I gotten this habit from

[cal823]

Hey, the offend thing? Just forgive. We all say things out of line sometimes, we are only human. You'll make mistakes too, and you want to be forgiven too.
The girlfriend thing? There are plenty of fish in the sea. Each rejection, heartbreak, etc, is just narrowing down, like tossing back the little fish, so you can wait for the big fish, the person meant for you, fated for you. They will come, in time.
The friend thing? Be honest. Be open. Be yourself. Be friendly. Don't be shy. And it will happen naturally.
Another thing, which I was taught and prayed on about in church yesterday, is this- eye contact, body language (if you lean forward, they lean forward. If you lean back, vise versa) keep your back straight, your head high, don't hunch your shoulders. Be confident. Its actually easier than it seems. Don't be afraid.

[Dennis777]

Hello.

Your move is just what you need. This is going to let you start over in life and be who you want to be.

You don't need the drinking to be able to talk to people you just need something to talk about. So start looking around you when your in a new place so you can find new things to talk about. If you can see it, then its easy to talk about it. It doesn't matter if it's a question you have about something you see or a funny comment.

You can change the way you dress and look, you can be anyone you want to be.

Good Luck
Dennis777

[snowrabbit]

It sucks.. my life sucks