[PaxMel]

I have a few questions about filing for Child Support and about Custody and such. But first, I want to fill you in on what's happened in the last 3 1/2 years.
I have two kids.. one is 5 and the other is 3 1/2. My 3 1/2 year old is the one I'm talking about today. His father is the kind of dad who thinks he's perfect and everyone else is horrible. That's putting it lightly.
So, my son was born in December. His dad insisted that the day we got out of the hospital that he wanted to come get him for a few days. I didn't think that was a good idea due to him being so new to everything and it being so cold out. I finally gave in after about 2 weeks. We didn't have any kind of custody agreement or anything back then. So, he took him for a few hours one night. That was fine and dandy for a couple months. He'd get him a few nights a week for a few hours and would come visit other than that. Then one day he decides to get angry about something so stupid. It was something like... I didn't take the diaper bag that he supplies to me.. like I'm a babysitter. We ended up in court when my son was 7 months old since we couldn't talk about things without him yelling at me and pounding at my door for hours at a time. He tried to get full custody. The court sent us to a mediator.. who ended up helping us write an agreement for custody. Our agreement was that he would meet me at a local sub shop at 5:30 Saturday night-Tuesday at 7pm. That was in July. In September/October, he lost his license due to driving drunk. So, now we (my husband and I) take my son to his dads house. The only thing I've ever asked him for was gas money because it's about an hour drive each day. But since then, he's not gotten hm for a weekend because he wanted to go hang out with friends or he's had to work... random excuses. It was from Friday-Sunday... and then it went from Friday-Monday.. and then Sunday-Tuesday.. and now he wants him Sunday-Wednesday. I'd be fine with it any other time.. but he has a sister he needs to see. And his sister goes to visit relatives most weekends because of everyone in our house working all day every weekend. He won't even attempt to find a ride to meet us anywhere and lets his work change his schedule all the time to something that doesn't work out with me too. He claims I "blackmail" him with gas money. He stopped giving it to me for a while and I stopped taking him to his house. I thought I was being generous. But since he won't give me gas money, I was thinking about filing for Child Support. I'm not the richest person and certainly can't afford to drive that far twice in a week out of my own pocket. I just wondered how that would work with the agreement we have and what everyone thinks I should do. My husband thinks I should force him to stick with the agreement we made instead of letting him think that he can change it whenever he wants to. I agree with that.. but I also really want my son to see his dad. I'm torn by my choices. I've already talked with his dad about going back to the mediator and changing the agreement to something that works with both of us. He seemed to agree with me. But he usually changes his mind in a day or two. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks!

[ScottGem]

I would use the threat of Child support as a lever. I would tell him that we have an agreement, but if he doesn't fulfill his part of the agreemtn that you will be forced to file for child support.