[scout13]

A girl I have loved since 6th grade (now in 11th grade) and was in my class was just killed in a car crash a day after we just started to go out and now I feel so miserable and feel like it was my fault because I could've drove her home, but she insisted on having her friends drive her home and then a drunk driver came swerving down the road and crashed head-on right into my 1-day girlfriend's friends car killing them both(right before my eyes). I don't know what to do now any advice would be... helpful.

[JoeCanada76]

I am very sorry for your loss. It is normal for grieving and it is also normal to try to blame yourself. You need to realise that this was not your fault and everybody has their own choices in life to make. She made a choice to go with her friends.

I would also recommend counseling. It is important that your able to open up and get your feelings out, no matter what it may be. It also helps coming here, because there are many people here that are understanding and are always here to lend an listening ear.

This is very tough and you need as much support for this situation. I also hope that the drunk driver gets life for killing two innocent people. I know it is not enough but at least you will know that the person responsible for this will be taken care of by the law?

Joe

[J_9]

Oh, Scout I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of life at such a young age is so hard to deal with.

You know kiddo that there are 5 stages of grief. No matter what the situation we all have to go through all 5 stages. Let yourself grieve. Let yourself be angry. It is normal, natural. Cry if you feel like it, it helps. It really does, believe me, I have been through it so many times. 7 times in high school and countless others since.

It is okay to hurt, to feel lonely right now. It is normal.

Might I suggest a grief support group? Getting together with all of your friends who miss her?

Although it may not seem like it right now, time does heal all wounds. Remember the good things... the happy times.

I lost my father almost a month ago... that short time has made a difference. You would be surprised in how time works to heal our hearts.

My thoughts are with you in your time of need.

[LettuceBFrank]

It's a hard place to be. These are the five stages of grief. There is no formula or timetable as to how long each stage lasts. It depends upon the person and the support system that they have available to them. If you have a support system available to you, take it (including counseling)! Sometimes, even lame people who don't know what to say give great hugs...


Denial (this isn't happening to me!)

Anger (why is this happening to me?)

Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if... )

Depression (I don't care anymore)

Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

[J_9]

Thank you for listing the stages. I am going though either bargaining or depression stages right now with my father's death. I couldn't remember them.

[scout13]

Thank you j_9, jesus helper, and lettuce frank for your help and support