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Emily94 · Jul 1, 2007, 09:11 AM

This is similar to my other post, but I didn't get the right anserew, and this is a different girl. My friend(step couson) is 7weeks pregnant, and her boyfriend left her when he found out, she is only 15, and is keeping the baby, she lives in a group home and she is staying with us now, and is going back to school after she has her baby, and her aunty(my step mom) is going ot take care of the baby, she doesn't seem at all upset, and she is really exited, and she is haing a baby shower and everything, I just want to see if anyone has any suggestions on what to get her and how to help her, its not like she is really upset or anything she is actually really exited! :o

Haxzor50 · Jul 1, 2007, 09:16 AM

What to get a 15 yr old for a baby shower...

Hmm I would think you should get two baby books, one for her, and one for the baby...

Why do children of that age intend of having kids?

She's not ready to have a kid... I know it seems ALL really fun and exciting, but as soon as the baby comes out crying, you know its not a fun thing..

Emily94 · Jul 1, 2007, 09:32 AM

My step mom(her aunty) has a younger daughter and my friend took care of her for 2 weeks straight, bought the food, cleaned the house, well her aunty was away! Everyone in her family knows she can do it!

Shaunta · Jul 1, 2007, 12:48 PM

Wow... again... babies Having Babies... its All Excting Right Now And Yea Of Course Everyone Is Going To Want To Babysit But It All Gets Old... your Not Going To Be Able To Just Get Up And Go Out When You Want To Because You Have To Find Someone To Watch The Baby... not Only That You Have To Get Up Extra Early To Get You And The Baby Ready.l... it Seems Like Its Going To Be Fun Now But Watch...

don8 · Jul 1, 2007, 01:27 PM

Yes it is hard to have a child this early but she can do it. I think that the best thing that you can do to help her is show her support and when she gets frusterated take the baby for a few hours to let her have a break. She will have a hard time but she can do it if she works really hard. As long as you let her know you are there for her that is all you can do. Good luck

bekah876 · Jul 1, 2007, 05:13 PM

I don't know how soon the baby shower is planned, but I bought the book Pregnancy Week by Week and What to Expect when you are Expecting as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Those would be great books for her to have and also give her a source of information.
I have heard from friends that have babies they like the practical gifts: diapers, lotion, baby shampoo, baby wipes, etc... Those are things you need lots of and can get expensive.

j-lee · Jul 1, 2007, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by Emily94

this is simular to my other post, but i didnt get the right anserew, and this is a different girl. My friend(step couson) is 7weeks pregnant, and her boyfriend left her when he found out, she is only 15, and is keeping the baby, she lives in a group home and she is staying with us now, and is going back to school after she has her baby, and her aunty(my step mom) is going ot take care of the baby, she doesnt seem at all upset, and she is really exited, and she is haing a baby shower and everything, i just want to see if anyone has any suggestions on what to get her and how to help her, its not like she is really upset or anything she is actually really exited! :o

Well at that age having a baby, the gift you should give her is adoption papers of wonderful grown ups looking to have a baby.
Get real your friend is 15 how will she afford to keep this child, is she still in school if not then being a drop out won't help her.She will end up working minimum wage somewhere just scrapping by. Tell her to smarten up and think of the baby first! Put the baby somewhere it will have a chance to grow, not just another child on walfare.
Sure she done that for your aunt for 2 weeks that's nothing! Ask her how she feels after 2 years of looking after her own baby.NOT THE SAME AT ALL!

Myth · Jul 1, 2007, 08:13 PM

Look all this negativity is really bringing people down... The OP is not the one pregnant.. She just wants to help her cousin... This is her cousins choice... And it's been made... So lets help her not criticize her for wanting to be the best person she can be.

Emily94, Ok now the best thing you can purchase to help would be a preemie outfit cause little ones rarely fit in the newborn clothes. They have sets of little things at walmart that you can get. A diaper bag that she points out is a good purchase... And most people will forget to get something for mom. I suggest that you get candles for her and some bath stuff. For those nights when she can find a few minutes to relax in a bath.

Haxzor50 · Jul 2, 2007, 12:18 AM

We can't help it, like you said... its already been done...

Listen, I'm sorry for being mean on the first post... but really, a 15 year old...

Where will she get a job to support a baby? And I mean REALLY support its every need...

I mean, growing up in an environment like that can actually help a baby be more responsible for itsself in the future, but on the other hand, its really hard for the baby to come up and follow set rules...

A 15 year old barely follows rules themselves, how will she be able to accuratly enforce them?

j-lee · Jul 2, 2007, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by Haxzor50

we can't help it, like you said... its already been done...

listen, im sorry for being mean on the first post... but really, a 15 year old...

where will she get a job to support a baby? and i mean REALLY support its every need...

i mean, growing up in an enviroment like that can actually help a baby be more responsible for itsself in the future, but on the other hand, its really hard for the baby to come up and follow set rules...

A 15 year old barely follows rules theirselves, how will she be able to accuratly enforce them?

I would have to agree with everything just said above!

on_vacation · Jul 2, 2007, 09:36 AM

It sounds like she has a great support system within your family. Stay that way. Even those of us who had our kids in our 20's 30's have needed support. The fact that she wants to finish school is fabulous--keep encouraging her! Aside from the store bought treats and presents, the best thing you can give her is love and support. Send her a card in the mail (yes, snail mail! ) every so often. There is nothing better than checking the mail and finding something personal like that. Find out what her favorite scent is and get a lotion to match. Aromatherapy does wonders. Treat her to a mani/pedi--especially when she's getting close to delivering! That'll feel amazing.

Synnen · Jul 2, 2007, 09:52 AM

Originally Posted by j-lee

Well at that age having a baby, the gift you should give her is adoption papers of wonderful grown ups looking to have a baby.
Get real your friend is 15 how will she afford to keep this child, is she still in school if not then being a drop out wont help her.She will end up working minimum wage somewhere just scrapping by. Tell her to smarten up and think of the baby first! Put the baby somewhere it will have a chance to grow, not just another child on walfare.
Sure she done that for your aunt for 2 weeks thats nothin! Ask her how she feels after 2 years of lookin after her own baby.NOT THE SAME AT ALL!

I can not advocate pushing adoption on anyone. You have no idea how devastating that is.

It sounds like this girl has a GREAT support system--that's wonderful! Because she'll NEED it. Coupons for babysitting, clothing OLDER than the newborn stuff, lotion, diapers, all of that is GREAT. Remember to remember Mom a little too... a bottle of lotion for her, or a plant, or SOMETHING that is just for her goes over very well too. Baby books, picture frames, disposable cameras with gift cards for developing the film, little "Brag Books" and gift cards to places like Target are all also great gifts.

While I agree that she is very young to be raising a child, and that her excitement is going to fade when reality sets in... I also wish her every happiness and congratulations.

PS... tell her to go for child support as SOON as the baby is born.

j-lee · Jul 2, 2007, 11:02 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

I can not advocate pushing adoption on anyone. You have no idea how devastating that is.

It sounds like this girl has a GREAT support system--that's wonderful! Because she'll NEED it. Coupons for babysitting, clothing OLDER than the newborn stuff, lotion, diapers, all of that is GREAT. Remember to remember Mom a little too...a bottle of lotion for her, or a plant, or SOMETHING that is just for her goes over very well too. Baby books, picture frames, disposable cameras with gift cards for developing the film, little "Brag Books" and gift cards to places like Target are all also great gifts.

While I agree that she is very young to be raising a child, and that her excitement is going to fade when reality sets in....I also wish her every happiness and congratulations.

PS...tell her to go for child support as SOON as the baby is born.

Just a little note I know how devastating it is to have adoption pushed on someone first hand experience here. But Iam not saying she should push adoption on her friend Iam just saying show her another option how adoption don't mean you never see your child again, there is such a thing as open adoption where she can always be apart of her babies life.Again Iam not saying push it on her just show her that there is other ways for her to Finnish growing up herself.

Emily94 · Jul 2, 2007, 03:53 PM

K well of it is of much help, my step mom never had a job, and she is getting a job and buying everything for this kid, she is treating it like her own.

Haxzor50 · Jul 2, 2007, 05:02 PM

Well as long as she has some kind of support she may be fine after all...

But listen...

My mom had me when she was 15... I had no support whatsoever, I grew up raising myself ever since I was the age of 5...

My mom verbally abused me to the point where I was seriously thinking suicide, I just really don't want this to happen to this baby, nor any baby, when she has it... this baby NEEDS a good environment to grow up in more than you think...

I am 16 now, emancipated, and living on my own... at the age of 14 I picked up a drug habbit, and kicked it, thank god...

Just remember, its not the stuff the baby gets, oor anything like that, the most important thing is the environment, and the structure, there is a thin line between them both, and if the line is broken for too long, there will be hell.. but believe me, you can't prevent the structure from being disoriented sometimes, but she needs to learn how to quickly build it back up, and not cope on the past and look at the future, that is a good mom...

bekah876 · Jul 2, 2007, 07:41 PM

I think both the mom to be and the baby already have a good support system. It seems like the stepmom is doing everything she can to help the girl raise this baby. Also, the mom to be seems to have a great cousin who is wanting to do whatever she can to help. I think there is a great support system in place and this baby will have a great family no matter how young the mom is.
I think we should focus on the positives in this situation and not the negatives. This family has been blessed with a precious gift from God. They have embraced this gift and are doing everything in their power to give this baby the life he/she deserves. I believe God will bless them and they will succeed. This family seems to be strong and their strength will get them through whatever struggles they might face.

alkalineangel · Jul 2, 2007, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by j-lee

Just a little note I know how devastating it is to have adoption pushed on someone first hand experience here. But Iam not saying she should push adoption on her friend Iam just saying show her another option how adoption dont mean you never see your child again, there is such a thing as open adoption where she can always be apart of her babies life.Again Iam not saying push it on her just show her that there is other ways for her to Finnish growing up herself.

Open adoption is just as difficult as a closed adoption. Nothing worse than seeing the child you carried for 9 months and then had to give away. It haunts you. The point here is not that this is a "child having a child" it is that this person is pregnant, and no matter what decision is made, the baby will be affected, and the girls life will be forever changed. The poster did not want a lecture, she is not in this situation, the poster wanted help finding a way to make the best out of the situation. A lot more good would be done in the world if people stopped criticizing other people and just made the best out of the situations presented to them. I think the poster is smart for seeking help

My opinion is similar to the others. Get her a book, some layettes, and maybe a wrap for her to hold the baby. I would also suggest getting a baby bathtub (really cheap) and filling it with the essentials that no one ever thinks of buying at showers. (shampoo, diaper rash cream, mylecon, tylenol, a medical kit with thermometer etc. hairbrush kit, lotion, washclothes, etc.. ) Also, diapers would be helpful. You sont realize until your child comes how quickly they are gone, and how much it all adds up...

Good luck to you and your family, and thank you for being supportive.

Emily94 · Jul 2, 2007, 08:54 PM

She isn't giving it up for adoption she is keeping it...

alkalineangel · Jul 2, 2007, 09:13 PM

I know, I was trying to explain to the other poster that adoption is not always the best answer...

eljay1103 · Jul 2, 2007, 10:15 PM

Emily that's really good that you want to help your cousin. I too had a baby young well not 15 but 18 and the best thing I got was support... I guess everyone forgot what the post was about, but since you said she wanted to have a baby shower a good thing to do would be to help her with a baby registry... Thats really hard and she's going to need help with that especially since she's not going to have a clue where to start (make it fun)... You can go to Walmart, Target or BabiesRus what you guys prefer. Then while your with her you see more or less the things she likes and is interested in... My fav. Were DIAPERS, WIPES you know the stuff she'll need everyday!!