[BigS]

My 6 year old niece has tantrums whenever she wakes up from sleeping. She screams to the top of her voice and begs to be lifted but yet she doesn't want you to touch her. She then either throws up or urinates in place or both. It gets so bad that at times the neighbors down the street would call to make sure everything is OK. She has been to the doctor, gotten MRIs and everything came back fine. Is there anything at all my sister can do before the wrong person thinks my niece is being abused. Plus everyone is beginning to pull there hair out from this behavior. :confused:

[grammadidi]

Well, if everything medical has been ruled out, I would totally ignore the behavior! Do not go to her, talk about it, soothe her, or anything. I would try this...

Let's say your niece normally gets up at 8 am. I would go in at 7:50 am and say with excitement and love... "Hey, hi, sweetie pie! It's time to get up! Your clothes are at the bottom of your bed. You get ready and I'll go get your breakfast ready! Hurry up, coz it's your favourite pancakes today!" I would give her a kiss, shut the door and leave the room.

Now... hopefully the change in routine will be enough to startle her into checking out a new behaviour pattern, but I somehow doubt it will be that easy. So... mom should go to the kitchen and prepare the promised breakfast, for whoever is home. Then if darling girl is still having her tantrum, a little knock on the door (she may have opened it by now, for effect) and call out, "Okay, sweetie! Breakfast is ready! Hurry up or you'll miss it!" and not one word more from ANYONE in the house.

Everyone who is home should sit down and eat, pretending the world and the day is wonderful, no matter what happens next. As soon as everyone is done, ALL plates should be cleared from the table and normal daily routine resumes. Darling girl should be ignored UNLESS she is speaking in a pleasant voice. If she actually comes into the room with her screams, she should be ignored. If she appears to be asking a question or talking through her scream, mom (or dad) should calmly say (with a smile and a genuine voice), "I'm sorry, Darling Girl. I can't understand you when you are screaming (or crying)." If she continues, then an adult should calmly say, "I'm sorry, Darling Girl, you will have to leave the room until you are ready for breakfast." Then, they should either take her gently by the hand and lead her back to her room, or swoop her up in their arms and smile and kiss her and say, "Gosh I love you so much! I hope you get ready for breakfast before it's all gone!" and deposit her in her room. If she continues to come out but is still having a tantrum, then she should not be spoken to, just lovingly and firmly returned to her room.

If she comes out for breakfast and is happy and ready to start the day but breakfast is over, she can be told, "Oh, sweetie! I'm sorry! Breakfast is over! We didn't think you wanted to join us today! You can try again tomorrow." and parent should not respond to any more discussion about it. If Darling Girl starts acting up, she should be gently led to her room again, and this should always happen if she is having a tantrum... EVEN if they are out in public! One parent should say, "Oh, dear! We thought you wanted to be with us. I guess you would rather be in your room at home." Then they should sweep her up and actually take Darling Girl home and deposit her in her room with her door closed with firmness and love, until the tantrum is over. NO DISCUSSION! NO ANGER!

Oh, it will be tough, but if it is behavioral it will be over in 3 days - but ONLY with consistency and patience and love. She may regress from time to time to see if the rules change once she has seemed to stop the behavior. It doesn't matter what the neighbours think, as parents are very obviously exploring medical solutions, but, if they are really that worried, they should go to the neighbours and explain what is happening beforehand, and ask them to bear with the screams for the next 3 or 4 days in order to help it to stop.

If Darling Girl wishes to discuss it when she is NOT tantrum-ing, by all means, parents should discuss. They can model and discuss other ways of dealing with problems - especially talking when you aren't upset - and praise her (almost excessively at first) when she stops the tantrum! Oh, and if she continues to urninate, then she should be placed in a diaper/pull up when going to bed.

Hope this helps. If everyone is on board, and it is truly behavioral, it should not take longer than 2 or 3 days.

Hugs, Didi

[bushg]

This sounds like night terrors or nightmares my son suffered from these, although I do not believe that his were quite as bad BTW he is 15 now and only has them occasionally. We made sure that he did not get over tired during the day, he was a very, very active little boy. We also tried to limit his excitement level before bedtime, he was not allowed to watch shows that would get him going, scary, adventure show etc. We tried to keep his bedtime at the same time each night. Reading nice happy stories before bed is a good way to have the mind filled with happy thoughts before falling asleep. I would not worry about the neighbors, or anyone thinking about the abuse. Your dr. will stand by you. We faced similar issues concerning our son, And our doctors were by our side evertyhing has turned out OK for my son and our family.

[vball43]

My uncle did those too. He would even shake the CRIB! Once he even tried to take the screen off the window.(when he was older) take her to her room and put her down. Sit (or stand) in front of the doorand wait until it's over. Simple as that.