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serena6878 · Jun 29, 2007, 11:30 PM

He didn't call me. He just wrote to me during summer vacation two letters. He came to school to visit me once, for which it took him one hour. I can't feel loved!
Should I leave him? He said "i love you." He kissed me and hugged me.
Is it love? I am lost.

Clough · Jun 30, 2007, 12:55 AM

Are you in college? Does he live far away? How long have you known him? He came to school to visit you once over what period? It would help to know more about the situation in order to give you a more helpful answer.

But, to answer now based upon the information that you have provided, and I may be totally incorrect, because some information is lacking here. I would say that it doesn't look like he is very serious with the relationship if he hasn't called you. Letters are okay, but the sound of a person's voice and the honesty and connectedness that can be revealed by hearing another's voice and assimilating what they are saying, is important in a relationship.

I would somehow find a way to speak with him and be upfront and honest with him about the way that you feel about the relationship.

JoeCanada76 · Jun 30, 2007, 01:52 AM

Honestly, from the information you gave us. How can you break up with somebody that your not really going out with?

This is not a true relationship.

Joe

mag oblivious · Jun 30, 2007, 03:00 AM

I think he's in love with the THOUGHT of you, not you. He probably hugged and kissed you for the sake if it, or for the obligation. It's your choice, but I don't think it's fair to you if you stay with him.

talaniman · Jun 30, 2007, 07:17 AM

You are not communicating with each other, and that will kill the relationship really fast.

serena6878 · Jun 30, 2007, 09:33 AM

I do my best to accept "it is non-existent relationship." I knew him last Christmas. And we wrote to each other when we were at home separately. When coming back to the college, we had the class together. Whenever I was ill, he wrote to me what the professor had taught them. On Valentine's day, I received seven roses from him. On my birthday, we went out for celebration.
We might be nothing. I say this sentence with tears rolling down my face. I never know what he thinks about our relationship. I love him more.
Thanks you all.

stonewilder · Jun 30, 2007, 09:39 AM

How do you leave someone you're not with?

serena6878 · Jun 30, 2007, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by stonewilder

How do you leave someone you're not with?

What does it mean by saying "there is a relationship?" could you tell me

JoeCanada76 · Jun 30, 2007, 09:58 AM

How do you break up with something that your not seeing. That is pretty straight forward if you ask me. Have you read anything here, or is it to hard to except that your living in fantasy land and there is no relationship here. There is nothing in your posts at all to say there is any relationship. You keep talking about a relationship when there is NONE. How do you break up with somebody that YOUR NOT EVEN SEEING? This is all straight forward and if you still do not understand what that means.

Counseling is needed, this is reality and I hope you find your way back to the truth.

Joe

JoeCanada76 · Jun 30, 2007, 10:04 AM

Now you might be considered friends. I understand friendship. Unless you start seeing each other more and spend a lot more time together actually seeing each other more then eventually it could change into an actual relationship. You never know what the future may bring.

I just want you to know that right now as it stands it just sounds like friendship but maybe one day if you are closer together, spend more time together and actually get to know each other face to face then a real true relationship can begin. It is always possible and hope should always be there and I am sorry if I seemed tough on you, I appologise.

Joe

talaniman · Jun 30, 2007, 10:34 AM

Could you have read too much into his attention? You could clear all this up with a friendly catch up call, and put the assumptions to rest. That's what a friend would do.

stonewilder · Jun 30, 2007, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by serena6878

He didn't call me. He just wrote to me during summer vacation two letters. He came to school to visit me once, for which it took him one hour. I can't feel loved!
should I leave him? He said "i love you." He kissed me and hugged me.
Is it love? I am lost.

Two people who are in a relationship usually spent as much time together as they can and when they can’t be together they will find a way to talk to each other rather by phone, emails or letters. I would guess, and this is only a guess that you and him were in a relationship then one or both of you went away to college and decided to continue the relationship long distant. At some point the two of you started to drift apart having little to nothing to talk about and perhaps feeling somewhat like strangers when you do see each other. If this is the case if would seem that you are holding on to each other for the sake of what you once had together and in hopes of renewing it someday. Am I even close? If this is the case you need to talk to each other and decide how to handle the situation. I would assume that you are young, 18 to 20 something? When you are young and in college there is so much you have to learn about yourself and life. These are going to be the best years of your life. Don’t waste them waiting on someone you may never have a real life with.