[Liz2]

I am 25 yrs I have special needs, and global delay however; this has not stopped me in all ways. I work for a well-known high street store, and have done so for the past 5 yrs.

When I was 18 a friend introduced me to this guy, and we started going out.
My parents at the time were going through a difficult time, eventually I moved In with him. To cut a long story short, he told me to move out in all over 20 times, in the time I lived with him. I would end up, either at my Dads, or Mums each time I would return to him because I loved him. My mum and dad were angry because of this carry on, but I was weak to him.

They told me on many occasions to end it, and he was just using me, and only wanted me when he “felt like it”. No matter what they said I would always return. Not once in all the time I lived with him were my parents, brothers and sisters allowed to come into his home. I did protest, but he would not allow it. About 3 months ago he told me to leave, and I ended at my mums once more. My mum said she could not cope with me living at home any more. My mum has my two eight-year-old sisters to look after, she told me I would have to find a room. My dad said he could not deal with it any more, and it would be for the best. They knew my behaviour, and I was soon seeing him clandestinely. I did find a room to rent and moved in, not long after I found out I was pregnant. I did tell my mum, at first she was angry but said she would support me, my dad went up the wall, but has accepted it now. I did not tell my partner, I told his sister she in turn told him. His reaction to the news was “He will have a DNA test when the baby is 2 yrs old”. I have always been loyal and faithful to him, but I cannot be certain if he has. I have not seen or heard from him for over three months, but I am glad I do not want him in my life any more. His sister who I thought was my best friend does not want to know me either.

My Dad is not to well and I am ashamed what I have put both my parents through. I don’t want to load them with my problems, I know they will help, but I want to learn to do as much as I can on my own. I do want my baby, but I am stuck what to do. I am still working and will continue for as long as I can.

I need advice on so much please help.

Thanks Liz2 UK

[JCollins57]

It is good that you got him out of your life. When it is time for you to stop working because of the pregnancy take your maternity leave if they do not provide pay for the time you are gone from work you can apply for assistance from the state (welfare) You will get medical, cash benefits to pay your rent and bills and food stamps for food. Even when you go back to work if you do not make enough you can still get supplemental income from the state.

[buggage]

I am glad that you have learned your lesson, and don't want him back. Make sure that you remember this feeling, and stick to it, because from the previous track record, it sounds like he will be back. He sounds very un-trusting of your faithfulness, and as such, most likely hasn't been acting the most trustworthy himself. Typically(not always, but typically) when the other accuses of cheating the way he is, its because he has been doing it himself, and they project it onto their partner that they are cheating on. (makes them feel less guilty, if they bring your fidelity into question) I am sure that your parents will always be there for you, and your baby. They love you still, no doubt. True parents love their children no matter what, and this situation has probably only strengthened their love and concern for you. I am also sure that they are proud of you for deciding to "grow up" and get out of this guys life. The past is the past. You can't change it, no matter how much you may wish to. And its for a reason. We learn from our past, and become who we are today, because of our past. Our future is the only thing we can change, and that is entirely dependent on you and the decisions you make today. There are programs that will help you keep your feet under you. Work as hard as you can, and do what you can to make your child's life the best that you can. Do that, and your child will grow up learning the skill of hard work, dilligence and how much you love them. Good luck to you.