[Lotz_of_Questions]

So when we bought our house in January this year my brother in law with his wife and two kids moved in. We don't have any kids, my hubby and I work from 8-5pm. I get home and cook dinner for us two.
We haven't had any problems yet but there is something that is really bugging me.
When they moved in we agreed that the food is going to be separate. No sharing, no touching each other's foods.(we share the fridge)
So this has been going on a couple months and now it's getting on my nerves! Since it's only my hubby and me- I know what we have in the fridge, at times when I get home from work my food is gone, opened or almost gone. I really don't care about the food, but what bugs me is that I respect their food, and they don't respect ours.
Yesterday when I got home I noticed that my milk was almost gone, there was only like a cup left in the gallon. We bought it Saturday and yesterday was Monday. So I was tired from work and I was just in a bad mood. So I took a sharpie and wrote my name on it. (in big letters)
Now my question is, should I be doing this? Or what should I do?
I've told my husband many times when things like this happen. He only tells me 'I'll talk to my brother, maybe they are getting confused and think that's theirs" HELLO-of Course not. How is someone going to get confused on something that is on OUR section thinking it's THEIRS.
Sometimes when everyone is home and in the kitchen I loudly ask my husband-"Why is our sugar almost gone?"
What should I do? Am I exaggerating?

[alkalineangel]

No. Unless they are buying the food they have no right. You have taken them in correct? Even if they are paying you rent of sorts, it doesn't include food. I would simply start labeling everything in the fridge. Otherwise you will end up with freeloaders.

[laurenjd]

I think you should arrange a sit down and openly talk about it with everyone! You were kind to let them into your home, they shouldn't be taking advantage of your kindness by stealing your food, which costs you money. I'm sure your hubby just doesn't want to hurt his bros feelings or anything, but you're his wife. That's your home, you shouldn't be bugged in your own home!

[Bluerose]

Whose house is it and why do they live with you? If it is because they are struggling financially I think you and your husband are doing an amazing thing by helping them out.

Separate fridge and cupboard may be one answer. Having a joint food budget where each person puts in so much and you brother in law puts in for his children. Then one person is chosen to take care of food shopping.

Or you could simply enhance your personal and spiritual growth by turning a blind eye.

[J_9]

Lotz, I have to agree with the answers you have already. However, I have noticed that this is not the only problem you are having with the in-laws.

One has to wonder at this point if you are enabling them. Have you given them a time limit to find a place and leave?

I realize this may be changing the subject in a way, however, the longer this situation continues the more problems you are likely to face.

[templelane]

As a student I know a good 'don't touch my food' trick. Put it in a plastic clip box in the fridge - this creates a psycohological barrier for the stealer - basically it feels more wrong to them. Its one thing stealing a dash of milk, a knob of butter (they add up!) but to open the fridge and then open a special box- which is clearly yours- then take it is much harder.

I know this doesn't completely solve the problem - but it might work as a short term solution. And it does work - very effective for theiving students and hopefully for family as well. Might work well with the kids who probably don't have a full grasp of ownership - what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine.

Hope this helps! Good luck

[Lotz_of_Questions]

Thanks all! And to answer some questions you all have.
This house belongs to my husband and I. It's in both of our names. They are living with us because of financial problems they have.
IT was THEIR idea of having seprate food. If it were for me we would share, that way we didn't have double of EVERYTHING! And there would be less junk in the house.
I talked to my Hubby the day I posted the question and he said that they will be there a couple more months. And to just hang in there.
Like I said before, I don't care about the food, what bugs me is that I don't touch theirs. And if I did I'd let them know or/and buy them some more of what ever I took. But they just take and don't replace.
Come on we are doing them a favor and they are just taking advantage!!