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justin1980 · Jun 18, 2007, 01:37 AM

My son is 10 years old, since he was 7 weeks old he has stayed at mine every weekend without fail.when he started junior school I picked him up on Friday from school then he spends all weekend at mine then I take him back to school on Monday. I can tell his not happy at home because he never wants to go back when I ask him he pulls a face .
He has to do a lot at home more than a 10 year old should do which I'm not going to go into.
All I want is my son to be happy and live with me which he said he wants to .
My problem is I don't know the best way to go about it as I don't want to have to drag him through courts.
Can anyone help me or tell me what's the best way I can go about sorting this out
Thanks

vlee · Jun 18, 2007, 09:11 AM

Is there a written custody agreement/order filed in court anywhere? If so, it will be difficult to change who has him the majority of the time if the dad fights you on it. If he is agreeable, all you have to do is file a new agreement in court (you will need a lawyer for this). If there is no order, have one drawn up by an attorney and see if the dad will sign it. If he refuses you will go to a mediation session where a court officer tries to help you reach an agreement. If things aren't resolved there, you will have a court date set and both appear before a judge who will decide what is best for your son.

justin1980 · Jun 18, 2007, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by vlee

Is there a written custody agreement/order filed in court anywhere? If so, it will be difficult to change who has him the majority of the time if the dad fights you on it. If he is agreeable, all you have to do is file a new agreement in court (you will need a lawyer for this). If there is no order, have one drawn up by an attorney and see if the dad will sign it. If he refuses you will go to a mediation session where a court officer tries to help you reach an agreement. If things aren't resolved there, you will have a court date set and both appear before a judge who will decide what is best for your son.

Im his father me and his mother split when he was just born .
There is nothing in black and white and we have never been to court over him .I have always been there for him and always will be he wants to live me his told me , do u think I'm better just going straight to court
Thanks

Fr_Chuck · Jun 18, 2007, 04:09 PM

well you should have had a court order to award custody to someone, and to spell out visitation, and of course to award the state required chid support. ** I will assume you are paying an agreed to sum at this point.

But he has to do more at home, yes, this sounds like the standard, mom makes me do chores and study, and I have fun all weekend in dad, so I want to stay with dad. And doing chores and study is not a bad thing for a child to have to do, Perhaps you should talk with his mother and be sure he is doing required duties at your home also, and not just be the fun parent, this is not fair at all to the parent who has to make the cihld do things.

But as for as living with you, you will need to get an attorney and file for custody in court, But you will have to prove how the child is not being raised properly, at 10 the court may or may not allow the child to testify, but if the child merely says I have a lot more fun with dad, the court may not see this as a proper reason.