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misshelpfull · Dec 12, 2011, 08:24 AM

I'm 15 and trying to move out of a home that is unwelcome for me. I need to get out. How can I do this without any trouble and dealing with the court? I don't want to hurt my dad, but I can't take this any more. I need help!

misshelpfull · Dec 12, 2011, 08:27 AM

He trats me good and understands me more then any one and I still don't know

misshelpfull · Dec 12, 2011, 11:10 AM

I would love to live with my boyfriend but I am 15 and I don't think I can ? Can I?
I would love to know how can I live my life the way I want to?
Or do I have to get nocked up to be kick out to live with my boyfriend?

DaniCalifornia · Dec 12, 2011, 11:13 AM

It's possible, but love is quite difficult to determine. How do you feel about him? How long have you been together, if you are? What does he do for you? Can you genuinely see yourself being together forever?

X Dani

Fr_Chuck · Dec 12, 2011, 02:07 PM

If your dad has custody of you, there is nothing you can do. If there is another parent they may go to court and file for custody. Besides that, there is nothing you can do.

ScottGem · Dec 12, 2011, 04:24 PM

Sounds like dad may be interfering in your love life. That is not going to be a good reason to get out of the house.

You come across as pretty immature, even for a 15 yr old. You need to do some growing up before you can get out of the house. You will need to wait at least 3 more years.

DaniCalifornia · Dec 12, 2011, 04:28 PM

Were threads merged or changed? My reply is completely irrelevant but I responded to a question asking if they were in love with someone

misshelpfull · Dec 14, 2011, 06:06 AM

If I am so immaature then why do I know more then a 15 should. I had to take care of a 2 year old and myself before because my mother was never there I am 15 going on 20 thanl you

misshelpfull · Dec 14, 2011, 06:10 AM

Can a grand parent have custody of me??

RandomJoeToe · Dec 14, 2011, 07:26 AM

What you want is not possible without involving a court hearing.

A grandparent would have to force your parents to give up custody to them, involving child protective services and a court hearing. There is no way to determine if the outcome would be good for you. It would be possible that you would be taken away from your family entirely.

Emancipation, in your state, is a possibility, but it again involves a court hearing. Here is California's requirements.

http://www.saccourt.ca.gov/family/emancipation.aspx

At your age it is pretty common and in fact natural to be having conflicts with your parents. I suggest speaking to your school counselor or the grandparent you are closest to, to help mediate your problems.

Do not get pregnant. It is not a means of escape from your situation and would be extremely unwise, only generating more problems for you and placing a child in a bad environment which you already want out of.

Aurora_Bell · Dec 14, 2011, 07:35 AM

If your grandparents are willing to take custody of you, and your father agrees than yes, they can become your legal guardian.

So, why don't you want to live with your dad anymore? It's really hard living on your own. Bills, job, school it's all a lot of work, even for most adults. Adding a baby to that mix just makes it 100x harder.

A lot of kids don't understand there is a lot more to living on your own then being able to stay up late and do what you want . Bills and reality get in the way of doing what you want to do. You will never be as free as you are now living for free at home with a parent. No one wants to struggle in life and with out an education, there is not much else out there but struggles. I know things seem hard now. 15 is a hard age. It's like being stuck between a young teen and a young adult. People still treat you like a kid but are constantly being told to grow up and act mature. It must have been hard for you raising a 2 year old and not having your mother around. No kid should have to go through that at such a young age.

I am happy to see you posted on another thread that you are on birth control. That's a very mature decision, as much as I would NEVER condone a 15 year old having sex, it's better to be safe than sorry. Raising a kid on your own is really hard work. You wouldn't want to raise your kid in poverty, and you want them to have the best start in life. You should know this especially if you had it hard growing up. Parenthood can wait.

I think the big question here is why is your home life so bad that you need out so badly?

ScottGem · Dec 14, 2011, 07:43 AM

Originally Posted by misshelpfull

can a grand parent have custody of me???

Yes, if the circumstances call for it. You haven't shown any circumstances that call for it.

As far as your showing immaturity, I think you just proved my point if you were the one who gave me the Unhelpful rating. Just because you didn't want to hear what I had to say is no reason to do so. We are honest here and tell the truth. The fact is you talk about living life like you want, but you give no indication that your father mistreats you. That is a sign of immaturity.

And If I had a dollar for every teen who tells us they know more than most teens I'd be very rich. The reality is you know a lot less than you think you do. Many teens have had to take care of younger siblings. You may be mature in someways, but not in others. And that immaturity does come across in your posts.

I note that you still haven't explained why you want to be on your own. I suspect that is because it will make you appear more immature.

misshelpfull · Dec 14, 2011, 08:44 AM

The reason I want to move out is because my dad's girlfriend. She is always trying to make me change in to someone I am not I hate it so much no matter what I do I can't get them to be proued of me, I cry all the time I can't see my mom , not like I want to any way, I am traped in the house, I'm never aloud to leave unless its school. Tasha is diving me crazy and I can't stand it anymore I'm falling school because of her and I can't do that like hell I'm only in grade 9 and I am 15 I can't live my life only wishing I could have the life I deserve. I really need help..

Wondergirl · Dec 14, 2011, 10:30 AM

What is the life you deserve?

Have you gotten into trouble and are now being restricted? Tasha wouldn't be this way for no reason, would she?

Aurora_Bell · Dec 14, 2011, 10:35 AM

How is Tasha making you fail school? Does she not allow you the time to study? Is she making you stay up late and do chores? How does she want you to change? What is she asking of you?

ScottGem · Dec 14, 2011, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by misshelpfull

the reason i want to move out is because my dad's girlfriend.... tasha is diving me crazy and i can't stand it anymore im falling school because of her and i can't do that like hell im only in grade 9 and i am 15 i can't live my life only wishing i could have the life i deserve. i really need help..

Ok, now you are giving us something to work with. The possibility of your being allowed to move out is basically a pipe dream so forget it. So what you need to do is try to cope with what you have.

The first thing is to deal with school. You need to talk to a counselor at school, try to see what you can do to help bring your grades up. They may also be able to help you with ways to cope with tasha. You also need to talk with your father. Explain to him that you find tasha's restrictions very stifling and its affecting your school work.

You may have a round robin cause and effect here. The restrictions are affecting your school work, which results in more restrictions. So if you get your grades back up, some of the restrictions may be lifted.

You also have to take a more realistic view of the world. On one hand you claim you are 15 going on 20, on the other you say "I'm only 15." The reality may be somewhere in between. You talk about the life I deserve, but that may not be a realistic outlook. People don't "deserve" any type of life, they EARN it. They earn it by hard work and doing the right thing. If you go through life thinking you are entitled to something, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

I also have to point out that some of your posts were removed (not by me) because they violated our rules. I only point this out to show that you do have an immature side and you NEED to understand that before you can get help. Insulting people trying to help you is not mature. And we are all trying to help you.

Talking things out with the people here may help you as well. We are good listeners and have a lot of experience that we can use to advise you. But you do need to lose the 'tude and be honest with us and yourself. In turn we promise to be honest with you.

misshelpfull · Dec 15, 2011, 05:55 AM

Hay I am sorry for being an immature brat yesterday my step mom was saying that I'm going to fale school and started to yell at me 4 eating to slow, fast , and for not at all she's driving me crazy and I am scared because I think I'm going annarecsick I need help?

misshelpfull · Dec 15, 2011, 06:00 AM

I'm faling school and I hate it but I mead it to my gole... Should I keep trying or drop out

Wondergirl · Dec 15, 2011, 06:18 AM

Have you and Tasha ever connected in a good way? If so, what was going on?

Talk to your guidance counselor at school and also your dad. Maybe even schedule a family meeting with your dad and step mom to talk about some of this stuff.

How long has she been your step mom?

Is there some way we can help you with school and studying? What's the problem there?

ScottGem · Dec 15, 2011, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by misshelpfull

hay i am sorry for being an immature brat yesterday

Now that was a mature thing to say.

If you really think you may be anorexic then you should ask your dad to take you to the doctor and talk to your doctor about what's going on with you.

As for your step mom, you need to get someone to intervene. She needs to be told that yelling at you, constantly berating you is not going to help you. You all need to work together to get to the root cause of your problems so you can fix them.