[Bdomo]

I have this friend that I have known since my junior year of high school and we weren't close at all I would see him in school and say wassup to him. But then one day he asks for my number and I was like that's cool. So I give him my number we talked sometimes but not that much. I always called him out the blue just to see how he was doing. So years go past I end up talking to him again back in January of this year. So we began to click and talk on things see how life has been. So he is still calling me out of the blue on and off and then one day on the phone I say "U know what ur going to bemy new best friend" and he laughs at me so he says that's cool. And I think deep inside he wanted it to be more. So months go by and we talk about everything on a deep level. I tell him all my problems and he tells me his. So one day I tell him I am coming to his house to see him so we hang out there and I end up spending the night. I think nothing of it because he's my best friend. So, something leads to something and we end up having sex. Afterwards, I feel guilty about it but I don't know how he felt about it. So I go home the next day and I speak to him on the phone and he acts cool like nothing even happened. So I tell him that can never happen again because, I told you we were best friends and I end up having sex with. So he says that's cool and maybe your right. And that was that. But, even though we talk still I feel he dosen't tell me his deep secrets anymore. I also see me getting jealous when he talks about other females and the things he goes through with them. But, I haven't told him I just work it out his problem with him. I think he gets jealous too but, he dosen't say anything I can tell. I don't know what to do or say?

[beme]

Well why did you have sex did you do it for a reson or not if you did it for a reason think why did you do it for a reason if not pray even I f you don't believe it helps me God can do maricles even if you don't catch it.try to tell him you now we had sex and I not comforatble with it what do you think about it do think it was good bad OK I didn't feel really a connection so after that just say I think we should be friends or try to go out which one



Signed,
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[Chery]

Try writing him a letter if you can't face him right now. This way you will know where you stand. Either one way or the other, neither will kill you, but will stress you out if you don't get things cleared up. If you are 'real friends' you should be able to communicate, no matter what. That's what friends do, talk to each other, even if you are a little worried that the friendship will end. It certainly is not going further the way it stand right now... Good luck.

[s_cianci]

So i tell him that can never happen again because, I told you we were best friends...

To a man's way of thinking there is a distinct difference between a "best friend" and a lover. With women the distinction is often more blurred. You sound like you want to be his lover but have instead cast yourself into the "friend" mold. If you really have feelings for this guy like you seem to, then stop treating him like a "friend" and start treating him like a "lover." It sounds like the two of you could well be right for each other, but you'll never know as long as you keep insisting on playing the "friend" role. In my own experience, women would often play the "friend" while they "test the waters", so to speak, so as to have an "escape hatch" if deemed necessary. Men pick up on this mentality and as long as you keep insistng that you're "best friends", he's going to think that you're holding back, wanting to keep one foot outside the door "just in case." As long as he believes that you have that mentality he's not going to take a chance with you. After all, why should he settle for a half- relationship, which is exactly what he thinks he'll have as long as he tries to make it with a "friend." At this point, it seems like you know this guy well enough that testing the waters is no longer necessary. You seem to trust him, so there is no reason to hold back. Shed the "friend" mentality and go for it. I have a hunch that you won't be disappointed.