[sweetface]

I am not really looking for a specific answer and this really is'nt a question just some thoughts, and maybe I could get some feedback with thoughts from others. Everyone on the board seems very knowledgeable it is always good to get the opinions of others that really don't know you.

Relationships seem to be so difficult. Not just romantic relationships, but relationships with people in general. You put forth such effort, time and consideration to another person, only to be either let down, belittled, or just plain ole dumped on. Why?? You try and be the best person you can be, you try and live a life that is in everyway "Good". I know that there are just some bad people in the world, this is true, but when you have put forth trust in an indivdual, you expect certain things. I guess you expect to be treated the way you treat them. The old addage, do unto others as you would have them do unto to you. But everyone does not live by this creed. I am not a naïve person by any means, nor am I bitter. I am just a person seeking knowledge and wisdom from others on these thoughts.

Should a person just go to work, come home and sit in the house everyday?!

Should a person keep to themselves, and not make friends?!

Should a person maintain a low profile?!

[milliec]

Dear Sweetface:
First, my answer to all your 3 questions is of course:NO !
But you didn't ask them for us to answer them, right?:(
Now for the main content of your letter:
I know exactly what you mean, and I was over and over again in the same situations with people. I don't think I'm stupid, but I'm naïve in the sense that I trust people, and that's because I'm honest and that's how I perceive the world, and regard others. I tried hard not to fall again into this "trap" and I'm a little more cautious, but not really much.
I finally got to the conclusion that I am what I am, and I'm never happy if I hold back and not action from my heart. I just can't!
The main thing is that you should be at peace with what you do.
You should be at peace with yourself, do what your heart tells you, you can never predict how others will act, or do things that just pleas others. You'll see, with time, that this will make you feel better.
You'll see you'll meet like you.
Take care and good luck,
Millie :)

[Wildcat21]

First off - here's this biggest mistake most make - I think you might do this. Your significant other is PART of your life, NOT your life. You need other things in life that are equal value, especially early on - work, school, friends, hobbies, WORKOUT, family, religion etc.

Should a person just go to work, come home and sit in the house everyday?! NO - NEVER!!

Should a person keep to themselves, and not make friends?! NO -NEVER!!

Should a person maintain a low profile?! NO - NEVER!!

[Wildcat21]

IF you act too anxious to make a relationship work, even if the other person initially seemed to be the one who wanted it, they will become turned off and start looking for the exits. Next time you decide you really want somebody, play your cards close to your chest. Don’t let on how excited you’ve become. Slowly over many months of time you can eventually show more commitment on your part, but do so incrementally, remaining alert to equal signs of commitment back. If at any point your devotion is more than an equal share, back off and give the other person a chance to catch up before proceeding further.

It is their perception, rightly or wrongly, that someone nice must be desperately needy. The neediness or dependent characteristics exhibited by a person are actually what is repulsive.

[Wildcat21]

You have to love yourself first before others can love you. You have to work on yourself - You HAVE to like the person in the mirror - can you hang out with the person in the mirror?

This is done by working out, school, work, new friends, new hobbies, READ as much as you can about everything!! etc.

[phillysteakandcheese]

Here's my personal take -

• I can't stand about 50% of the population. I can't stand these people for one reason or another. I can get along, but I don't want to be social or hang out with them...
• About 40% of the population is likeable, but is too flakey for me to take seriously or otherwise depend on. These kind of people are entertaining, or good talkers, but have some "fatal flaw" that makes me keep them at a distance.
• The last 10% are people I like, respect, trust, and otherwise can depend on.

It's tough finding that 10%.

There are plenty of dumb a$$es, funny idiots, intelligent a$$holes, and emotional powder kegs walking around out there.

It takes time and effort to meet quality people, but it is worth the time and effort once you find them.