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    sasha24's Avatar
    sasha24 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 2, 2009, 12:40 AM
    Made a small mistake and he won't forgive me
    I'm 25 and Ive been dating this guy for 7 months and everything was going well, then one day he said he was going to come to my house and hangout with me, so I said matter fact I'm going to come to your house (since for the past month we always chilled by my house), he tells me that I can not come to his house so I continue to ask him why because in my mind I'm thinking another girl... he says I'm being annoying and he doesn't feel like talking about now but I continue to ask why, he says I don't want to talk about it now and that's what the f--k I said and hung up the phone. I was so upset so I sent him a text message this is exactly what I said: your not better than me so stop acting like it. He said say no more and you don't have to deal with me I got even more upset that he would say that cause every time I had a problem with something he did he always said this also he know how I feel about him and that I wanted to be with him so I texted him back f--k you. Realizing that I may have over reacted I tried calling him and text him to get him to speak to me. So I said to myself I will give him space and he will call.
    After a week and a half he never called so I text him he called me back but I missed his call and I called him back, he never called me back so a week later I called him again we talked about it and I apologized over quite a few times and told him I didn't mean to say those things, this happened in feb2009, so we start speaking on the phone on the regular but not on the weekends, so I would ask him to lets go out to dinner or the movies and he would tell me I don't know or I would ask when I'm going to see him again cause I missed him like crazy and I love him, he again would say I don't know, mind you before all this we hanged out all the time we were always together. So its like mid march I feel like he should have gotten over this by now so we could move on to the way things used to be. So I just ask him honestly if things could go back to the way things were and he told me that he don't think so cause he holds grudges and don't forgive easily . I miss him so much and I get these feelings in my heart every time I think about him... he just won't let go I don't know what to do... need advice
    2wicked's Avatar
    2wicked Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    Apr 2, 2009, 12:45 AM

    I'm a dude so I would personally say don't give him a guilt trip but get pretty damn close to it just be like "i ont what i would do without you in my life" or if you don't want to talk to me I guess ill have to move on but it will be hard" you got to sound like your very very very very very sad and fragile it would work on me
    2wicked's Avatar
    2wicked Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Apr 2, 2009, 12:46 AM
    You want to answer my questions I posted a few a while ago ill post them again cause I hella need help with my ex girlfriend toooo id do anything to get her back
    CallMeBel's Avatar
    CallMeBel Posts: 88, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Apr 2, 2009, 10:01 AM

    Move on. He should have told you the reason. If it wasn't a big deal he would have told you. And now he has it turned around that everything is your fault when its not. If he is acting not that interested... he probably isn't. He is not worth your time. And I know this is probably not what you want to hear; but you don't have time for a man that is not going to be honest with you!
    BMI's Avatar
    BMI Posts: 892, Reputation: 270
    Senior Member
     
    #5

    Apr 2, 2009, 10:09 AM

    Let me better understand this.

    He called you to come over and you said you'd come over to his house. He then said no and you thought it was because he had a girl there. Now you guy's have hardly spoken and your relationship is on the rocks.

    Firstly, if he was asking to come over why would you think a girl was at his house? Was he going to leave her there? If he was going to come over presumably the "girl" that was over would be leaving and so perhaps it was not because he had a girl there at all.

    Nevertheless, girl or no girl any guy that would react like this for months over that exact conversation is notsomeone ready or capable of being in a real relationship. If this story is accurate than consider this a blessing in disguise. Goodness, imagine how he'd react if you really did something wrong?
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Apr 2, 2009, 10:39 AM

    Do yourself a favor and never chase after a man.

    You did nothing to apologize for in the first place.He swore and hung-up on you first when he didn't want you at his house.

    He was hiding something and got defensive.You simply reacted to his initial nastiness.

    He is going to hold a grudge about that little tiff?

    I doubt it.That is an excuse not to be with you.

    He has made his decision.Respect yourself and know that you deserve better treatment from men.
    nikosmom's Avatar
    nikosmom Posts: 1,611, Reputation: 488
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Apr 2, 2009, 11:12 AM

    He may be feeling that you're the one that over-reacted. After all, you pestered him when he was trying to come see you. What's his living situation? Does he live with family or does he have a roommate? Maybe that's why he prefers hanging out at your place.

    Regardless of his reasoning for wanting to come to your house, maybe you could've handled it differently. Perhaps just asking him why he prefers hanging at your place instead of assuming he had another girl there. (If he did, at least give him a chance to tell the lie first ;))

    At this point, I think you should just move on. You need to learn from your mistake (not jumping to conclusions and accusing) and maybe he's just not the one for you because he seems a little childish too.

    Think about it this way: 1) You accused him of having another girl 2) Then you two argued 3) then you sent him foul texts 4) then you called/texted him saying how much you love him...
    Honestly you're coming off a bit crazy. I'm just saying this because often guys see it this way. They do not like girls whose emotions swing from one extreme to another.

    So maybe you both can go your separate ways and grow from this situation. Don't continue to waste any more of your time trying to win him back.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #8

    Apr 2, 2009, 12:50 PM
    I'm not sure who is at fault, but you guys had a huge breakdown in your communication.

    There is no problem asking him why you can't go to his house, but you shouldn't accuse him of cheating on you. That's jumping to conclusions and a lot of guys hate that. Innocent until proven guilty?

    As for him, if he really liked you, he would at least give you a decent explanation as to why you can't go over. He's obviously hiding something. Furthermore, he's constantly giving you the "I don't know" answer, which is very insecure on his part. He has no idea what he wants.

    He already knows that you want him back. If he wanted you back, you guys would be together by now right? So from the looks of things, he's moved on... he's just letting you down easy by saying "I don't know." He's probably been saying that line all his life to get out of things.

    I think that you can do better...
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Apr 2, 2009, 01:11 PM

    His reaction to you asking why you can't come over to his house takes the cake.

    A normal person would've said "You can come over to my house because ____", instead of trying to dismissed the subject especially since he hangs out at yours.

    I to would have assumed he had something to hide when he can answer a simple question.

    Now the question is why do you even what to still presume things with this guy. If he can even answer a simple question image what he is going do when the questions get tougher? He might use bit your head out. I couldn't be with someone that can talk or is unable to express themselve.
    sasha24's Avatar
    sasha24 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #10

    Apr 2, 2009, 01:42 PM

    I didn't accuse him of cheating, I didn't say anything to him about another girl I kept that accusation to myself
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
     
    #11

    Apr 2, 2009, 01:47 PM
    Wow and wow.

    This guy mindf&*ks you and then you feel bad about it.

    Don't get me wrong. ive been where you are, with a girl who played me long and hard.

    But really... you need to make him your past. Now.

    He is dangerous for you.

    If another man, of any decent quality, was available and interested, you'd tell this arsehole to kiss it.

    But, because there isn't another decent guy around at the moment, you are torturing yourself for the FIdiot that is playing mind games.

    Again... I've been where you are. Too many times.

    You need to make him your past.

    If he isn't willing to chase you, to work for you, to catch you and keep you... he isn't into you.

    And that's the truth... he isn't into you enough to do the work you need and deserve.

    That isn't any fault of yours. You don't own that. It isn't any kind of breakdown on your side.

    He just isn't right for you, and he isn't going to try to be right for you.

    Walk away. Please.

    Run away.

    Now.

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