[Marriedguy]

I notice some couples are not pooling there money together. The husband/Boyfriend will have his account and wife/girlfriend will have her account. Then assign each other bills to pay.

Isn't this dooming this relationship to fail?:confused:

[ISneezeFunny]

It's whatever works for the party.

Some couples have separate accounts for safety reasons (i.e. - if one person goes bankrupt, then the other person is protected, or if one person's business goes down in flames, the other person's protected).

Although I'm not married, when/if I do get married, I would hope that I would have my own checking acct, the wife will have her own checking acct, and together, we'll have one joint acct.

[Marriedguy]

@ Isneezefunny.. what would be your purpose of maintaining your own checking account?

[Jake2008]

Considering the success rate of marriages, it is probably a good idea to plan ahead- just in case.

My husband has his own savings account, but, I manage it. :p

[ISneezeFunny]

Well, for one, I've always been financially independent. Of course, when married, everything becomes joint, but for small things such as:

1. Supporting my parents. Many couples often fight about sending money/buying gifts to parents. This way, I can send money to my parents without an argument. Granted, of course, I'll tell her about it, and she can see the statements if she cares to, but it would be different than to see the money drain out of our joint account.

2. Gifts for her. If I wanted to buy her something, I can do so without her knowing about it, as a surprise. Sure, she'd find out when she looks it up on the statement, but by then, she won't care.

3. Business. This is the most important. I own my own business, and thus, my own checking account is liable. I would not want my wife to be tangled in that mess. If God forbid, the business takes a wrong turn, I'd want her to have financial security.

I think the problem with married couples having their own checking accounts is the secrecy behind it. No one knows what you're spending your money on, and that's scary. You could be financing your drug habit, gambling, possibly paying for hookers, etc. Maybe you're buying extraordinary gifts for your mistress, who knows. I plan to avoid this by allowing her to have access to see my account balances/statements, I plan to have open communication with her, I just want the freedom to manipulate my money the way I please...

Perhaps this is too independent, and some of my friends have told me, "Then you're not ready for marriage. A marriage is putting together EVERYTHING and becoming one." Sure, that may be true, and chances are, I'm not ready for marriage...

[Jake2008]

If I read you right Sneezie, you have (or will have) separate accounts, and joint accounts, and each of you have access to the statements?

To me, that makes sense. That way she can, as you said, see that you aren't spending money on hookers and blackjack.

Actually, I never realized it, but my husband and I have the same sort of system, and it has worked for 34 years.

[ISneezeFunny]

Yep. I wanted to have a joint checking/savings for household bills and such, going out to eat, etc. We will also have our own personal accts, and put in an equal percentage of our paychecks into the joint account (say... 15 - 20%).

But yes, we won't hide the accounts from one another.

[Homegirl 50]

If that is what works for the two of you that's fine. The problem comes when it is done in secret.
You can have joint money and your own money.

[redhed35]

my ex husband was a nightmare with money,so I took over the finances,but trusting him, he was a grown man we both had access to the household account where all monies went into.

on checking the account he would see x amount and arrive home with another expensive DIY tool,no hookers here,DIY was his thing.

spent the bill money, food money ,mortgage money, thinking if I was in charge of the account it was my responsibility and he could just spend away... hence.. hes my ex now.

today,in a new relationship athough we are not married yet how we will work the finances has being a topic of conversation.

like jake and sneezy we have agreed on a household and savings account in both names,and a separate account for our own pin money.

money can become a very serious issue in a relationship,if both parties are in agreement and know what's coming into the house it makes it a lot easier.

[ISneezeFunny]

Well, the current girlfriend does NOT agree with this plan, as she wants one joint account. EVERYTHING is shared. But she's young and isn't great with money, as she's had her parents' support up until... well, now. So hopefully, she'll come around, and if not, we'll come up with some sort of a compromise.

[gracie2010]

I think sneezy s plan would work if they were both above board with their spending and saving habits. It can become a bit sticky when the wife has been a stay at home mum and has returned to work after the kids have gone to school and doesn't have the earning capacity of her husband. I have had problems all through my marriage of my husband being very controlling over money and opening accounts and stashing money away and saying there isn't enough when a larger purchase comes up. I was responsible for groceries , gas for my car clothes etc which didn't leave much left for saving. My husband made twice I did so had the freedom to do what he wanted with his excess. He would always say you earn money too if you want?? Save for it. So it can be a very delicate situation if not handled properly to avoid resentment.

[gracie2010]

I think sneezy s plan would work if they were both above board with their spending and saving habits. It can become a bit sticky when the wife has been a stay at home mum and has returned to work after the kids have gone to school and doesn't have the earning capacity of her husband. I have had problems all through my marriage of my husband being very controlling over money and opening accounts and stashing money away and saying there isn't enough when a larger purchase comes up. I was responsible for groceries , gas for my car clothes etc which didn't leave much left for saving. My husband made twice I did so had the freedom to do what he wanted with his excess. He would always say you earn money too if you want?? Save for it. So it can be a very delicate situation if not handled properly to avoid resentment.

[ISneezeFunny]

Gracie:

I agree, that method doesn't work. I think the same PERCENTAGE of income, put into a joint account for groceries, gas, food, bills, etc. would be all right.