[122343]

Hello.. I'm a 27 year old female involved in a relationship that has me going out of my mind... We have lived on the same neighborhood all of our lives. He got married then divorced and went back to his parents. I got married at 22 but then got involved (while still married) with my divorced neighbor. I had always liked him but never hooked up cause he was older than me... we started going out and I fell for him right away. I moved away to see if I was able to get him out of my head but he kept looking for me so I left my husband and moved back to my old neighborhood. He got cheated on the past and had a very hard time getting over it, he dated other women but still had trust issues and couldn't "click" with anyone. When I moved back we started a relationship but he became too possessive. Didn't like me going out with friends cause he though I was going to get involved with someone else. We go to the same gym and even there he doesn't like me talking to other people (specifically guys) even if it's just friendly. I used to be very independent but now I feel I became addicted to him.. all I think about it's him. I was never romantic but now I find myself listening to songs and thinking about him and doing thinks I have never done before. I feel I'm in love with him and until 2 weeks ago we were talking about getting married and starting a family. He has a 9 year old addicted and I get along with her really well but his ex manipulated the girl and now she doesn't want to see me. My BF hasn't called me and the last time we spoke he said he doesn't trust me (even knowing that I love him) cause he believe I'm going to fall out of love and look for someone else. Is this a real reason to this sudden change of mind? Is he overwhelmed with his addicted situation? Or he's just looking for an excuse to dump me?

[shygrneyzs]

He may be using past history for his reasons here. I would say if he wants to break up this lack of trust - break up and let him go. As hard as you might think it might be - it will be a lot harder if you persist with this guy. He is not going to trust you very much in any situation. You already mention that he is possessive. RUN, do not walk, towards the nearest exit. People are not things of possession. You can possess a car, a boat, a house, but not another person.

You mentioned that you feel addicted to him. You need to get some counseling for that. I am serious. Psychological addiction is not as uncommon but it is very unhealthy. VERY!
You are really no more ready to settle than he is.

[talaniman]

Does this have to hit you over the head or what? Come on, he has been this way with his first wife, and every other relationship since. You expect him to be cured because you love him? Be realistic and leave him alone, as he needs the long term help of a professional. You could use help also in a few areas of your life. Two sick people cannot make a healthy relationship and both should get help to get healthy before anything else.