[kannis1]

Here's my question. I'm trying to understand what is going on with my girlfriend. We met when she moved into my apartment building. Our relationship took off real quick. We started having sex within a month or less, which I think was a mistake. Anyway, after a while I decided to slow things down. We became friends and for the next 2 years we spent time together going on trips and doing lots of fun things. However, this was done as friends. We weren't romantic. Then about 2 months ago she started seeing this guy and I started seeing this girl I met. After a while I began to really miss her and I called her and told her that I was in love with her. That comment made her decide to date me and the guy she was currently seeing. That went on for a month. After a while the guy gave up and left the situation. He wanted a one on one relationship with her, but it never worked because she kept going out with me and he couldn't take it. So now she's with me again. We have been spend lots of time together for the last 10 days. We've looked at engagement rings and have talked about getting married. She talks about it more than I.

My problem is that she tells me that she is not use to me feeding her so much emotions and wanting to kiss her and touch her because I didn't do it in the past. Also, she says that I've been smothering and trying too hard and she needs me to relax and take things slowly because she's not going anywhere. But an hour after saying that, she called me and started talking about moving in with me and getting married. I love her very much and would marry her tomorrow, but I don't know how to deal with her now. She also told me that she needs to work on getting some of the feelings that she had for me before back. We have plans for New Year's Eve and for a big trip to Las Vegas in February. Lastly, we haven't had sex since we have been back together. She says she's not ready for that yet. Does any of this make sense? And if so, how should I deal with her? I'm kind of confused.

[talaniman]

She has slowed you down and well she should as everything you have written says things were going way to fast. They still are, and I think your confusion is from going into things before you are really ready. It takes more than saying I love you and going on trips to make a relationship work, especially after the speed you've been going at. Slow down and talk more until your not so confused. Way too soon for marriage, and maybe you need to stop being led at anothers pace. Slow down and talk a lot more.

[s_cianci]

Listen to what she says about you smothering her and taking things slowly. Back off a little and give her some space. Let her chase you. Otherwise you could end up pushing her away. Get involved in some other activities that don't include her. Don't make her your whole life and don't wear your heart out on your sleeve.

[richsaha2007]

You have to slow it down. Take into consideration what she is telling. "Loving" her too much will only make her run away. Like s_cianci says, let her chase you.