Check out some similar questions!

kevin2006 · Jan 27, 2007, 09:08 PM

Hi, me and my girlfriend have been going out for 10 months now... we used to have so much fun and I would always have fun talking to her... but the last couple of days I've been getting irritated with her very easily... n sometimes I feel like I don't know what to say and that I'm putting a lot of stress on me to have fun with her... I don't know if I'm losing interest her or my bad thoughts getting the best of me... I don't really want another girl because my girlfriend treats me really good... n she's very honest with me... I told her a bit about what I was feeling but she was confused and so am I... sometimes when I talk to her I feel like I have no emotion... like I'm lifeless or bored... I don't know what to do.. I really want things to go back to normal because I hate these bad thoughts... I want to enjoy my relatioship with her and find out exactly what is wrong.. can someone please help me?

FnOzi · Jan 27, 2007, 10:12 PM

Don't let your little head think for the big head.
I'm sorry,but you sound you may have gotten over the sex,and there may be little else to "keep you interested.

nkknaidu · Jan 27, 2007, 10:51 PM

If you loose interest in a girl in just 10 months how about couples living together for 50 years or over. It is not just sex that keeps together. It is love, respect, faith, affection and feelings on one another. You are thinking too much of simple issue. Think it over again. Good luck.

Kiddybaby · Jan 27, 2007, 10:53 PM

Is it possible that other things are going on in your life that is causing you to feel this way? These feelings may be about you and your own issues right now and nothing directly to do with her. I have been with my guy almost 2 years now and there are times I have told him that I feel like I don't know if I really want to be with him anymore and that was close to the one year mark. Yes I was doubting my relationship in the moment because it was changing and I was feeling fearful and had my own inner stuff going on. I asked myself where is this going? Do I really want to be with this person? Is this the right one for me? What are we doing? It is a year later with my guy and I feel like things are solid and have been for a while. You have been feeling like this for a few days... before you make any major decisions just watch how you feel in the next couple of weeks or so and then make a decision. You may just be having a moment or you may discover that the fun is over for you. Keep us posted and I hope all goes well whatever that means for u!

kevin2006 · Jan 27, 2007, 11:17 PM

Thanks you all for your advice... I guess I shouldt think too hard about it... n right now there are a lot of things going on in my life right now... im in 2nd yr university and I really need to get a high average this semester and there's also a big basketball tournament coming up in march... and I have to be the starting centre... and my team is putting a lot of pressure on me to get better and bigger because I'm not playing to my full potential with my height.. n every time I make a mistake I feel like I'm letting them and myself down... so that's where some stress is coming from... but I don't know how it has to do with my relationship with my girlfriend

Kiddybaby · Jan 27, 2007, 11:23 PM

Things can be indirectly linked to other things without you even realizing it. Have you ever heard of men in relationships who go through stress at work and it affects their home life. Decrease in sex drive for example. I know for myself right now at home I am stressed out and that is affecting the relationship with my boyfriend and even my children and is beginning to spill out into my relationship with those around me. The difference is I am fully aware of it and because I know that, it keeps my relationship with my guy much more grounded.

talaniman · Jan 28, 2007, 09:02 AM

Sometimes the things in our life affect how we feel and see things . We must identify those things and realise how things effect us, and focus on what's important. Knowing the problem is half the battle.

WarmbrownAsks · Jan 29, 2007, 01:32 PM

... sometimes when I talk to her I feel like I have no emotion... like I'm lifeless or bored... I don't know what to do.. I really want things to go back to normal because I hate these bad thoughts...

Kev,
I was reading this book "Men Are From Mars..." (I've been dating my boyfriend for about 6mos and we're starting to hit some bumps so I needed some help. Anyway there is a chapter about how men are like rubberband bands. The chapter explains that just "BY NATURE" men need to have their own time away. During this time away they need to stretch themselves away from their partners (without breaking the bond -- like a rband stretching w/out breaking). Then when the guy has stretched far away enough (and begins to miss his woman) he will "SPRING" back to her... and spring back to life. I don't know how much time you and your girlfriend spend together but maybe you need some alone time - FOR AWHILE- and maybe you time to miss her and allow her to miss you. It's a weird concept but the guy who wrote the book is a relationship psychologist and says that men actually have this need INATELY... like you can't help yourselves. I see this in my boyfriend too. When he pulls away... and then when he has had enough pulling away he "snaps" right back to me.
You may want to try that. OH! This author says that if a man doesn't get the time away that he needs regularly HE HIMSELF could start to feel like he doesn't love his wife/gf anymore... he could feel that he is bored... but in reality he only needs to pull away for a bit. Hope that helps a bit.
~ WarmBrown

Nosnosna · Jan 29, 2007, 01:58 PM

I would say that you're suffering primarily from stress. When you have a lot of things going on, it makes it hard to enjoy the things that you normally would. You lose patience, and snap at people who don't deserve it. And, of course, this just adds to your stress and you have even less patience and it all just gets worse.

Take a step back from everything, and see what you can do to deal with each item on your plate individually... they're much easier to deal with that way, and they seem more manageable. If you can do that, the whole situation will get better, though it will take time.

That being said, there may be actual issues in your relationship that need to be dealt with, and the stress you're going through has just brought them to the surface. You'll be in a better position to determine that after you address some of the other stress.

Good luck, and try not to get bogged down too much.

kevin2006 · Feb 25, 2007, 10:38 AM

Thank you all... I think I'm going to read that book.. n I noticed I do need a lot of time to myself

Geoffersonairplane · Feb 25, 2007, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by FnOzi

Dont let your little head think for the big head.
I'm sorry,but you sound you may have gotten over the sex,and there may be little else to "keep you interested.

This sounds like a possibility but when this starts, you must act quickly if you don't want to lose your relationship. There is more than sex to a relationship although this seems to keep the spark alive in the honeymoon phase. As time moves on, these sparks can fade but you can keep things alive. Remember that Love is what is left over after those sparks are gone. When you realise this, you are a step closer to understanding the importance of working hard at relationships.

mikec88 · Dec 6, 2008, 07:33 PM

I know its been a while since u posted, but I would really appreciate your insight

I find myself in the same situation. I been going out with my girl for 3 months now. THings were hot and exciting at first as I wanted to spend every moment with her. We actually spend a lot of time together as she sleeps over my place at least twice a week. Recently, I been feeling the same way you feel.

So was it the "rubberband effect" or did you lost interest in her?