[prettyNpink3795]

I finally found the perfect wedding invitation, but now I'm getting concerned with the wording. You see, my husband (we secretly eloped... a whole other story in itself) and I are both originally from the midwest, so that's where we want to have our wedding. We live on the east coast now, and we really don't want to deal with the hassle of shipping gifts back here.

How do we say that we would appreciate $, but that gifts are going to be a burden? I've even talked to my husband about making a webpage for our honeymoon, and letting people just make "donations" for our honeymoon. I've seen people do it before with libertytravel.com, but I don't know if the guests would be comfortable doing that.

Any thoughts/suggestions?

[Fr_Chuck]

Of course this is really a blessing, not a wedding since you are already married, ( you can only have one official wedding) while you can exchange vows again, there can not be marriage license and the such.
And properly it should say a blessing of your marriage, since this is not really a wedding.

But then this is one of my picky things from doing peoples wedding.
Since as a pastor I can not pronouce you man and wife, since you already are, but as a pastor I can bless your marriage.

[prettyNpink3795]

Well, if you'll read in my post, we SECRETLY eloped. Since no one in our families know that we eloped, no one knows we are married. Therefore, I am not going to break my parents hearts with a 'blessing of my marriage.'

I did have my cousin sign the marriage certificate, and he will also be doing the wedding. Therefore, he can pronounce us man and wife. We may be married in the eyes of the law, but since we've never recited our vows to each other, I do not see us as married in the eyes of God.

Now, does anyone have an answer for my original question??

[ncgirl_21]

Just a suggestion maybe you could set-up a wedding website and instead of creating a gift regestry ask for money donatios and explain in the notes because you don't want the hassal of having gifts shipped home or you could have a gift registry and have them just ship the gifts to your home before the wedding just an ideal let me know if it was helpful or not

[shygrneyzs]

I know I am old fashioned and old school and just plain old. But I do think asking for money only, to fund your honeymoon, is tacky. However, in this age of everything goes, you can send invitations to your wedding and enclose a note about the no gifts, but money instead. If you make a website, how do you know everyone has access to that website? This your wedding and you can pretty much do as you wish. Why do you need affirmation that what you want to do is the right thing to do? What is right for you may not be right for me, but that is okay.

With that being said, I do sincerely wish you and your husband a great wedding and honeymoon. People do not always have to follow convention. Have a wonderful time.

[Tootruetooblue]

I agree with Shygryneyzs - asking for money, in any situation - is just plain tacky. However, I can understand your concerns.

It is traditional to send the gift to whatever address is indicated on the registry (the stores will take care of this) rather than bring it to the wedding. So, that can solve part of your problem. As another option, let other people do the dirty work for you, tactfullyk through word of mouth. They can say things like, "I know they need money for the honeymoon, and shipping everything would be such a hassle so I think I will give them money".

If they give you gifts, bring them to the wedding or send them to your parents, I think you need to just accept them gracefully. Either return them for cash or credit to avoid the shipping, or ship them on to your home, or take them back over time when you visit your family.

I took a boatload of stuff on a plane one Christmas season and while I had to pay a little extra (not that much) it was no big deal really. We got some carts, had some people help us at the airport, and got a van to take us home on the other end.

It's not worth offending your family and friends - a little inconvenience is not that big of a deal.

[alkalineangel]

I found this incredibly helpful. I think it will help you in your situation as well.

Wedding Gifts: Asking for Money - Is There a Polite Way to Ask for Money Instead of Wedding Gifts?

[Tootruetooblue]

How about just arranging for a relative to ship the gifts to you after the wedding, or to store them until you return? You don't have to deal with it immediately after the wedding. Or would your parents like to visit you in your new home? Perhaps they would drive them out to you?