[monkeykoder]

I am currently dating one of the most awesome women I have ever met. We have been dating for around a year and I have more than fallen for her. I tell her I love her and that she is the prettiest and most amazing woman I have ever met. She on the other hand does not seem willing to enunciate the words "I love you" I think I would be fine with this (she shows her feelings in other ways) but she seems to be giving me subtle hints that she might be looking for more of a commitment. Where the heck do I go from here.

[Knowledgefinder]

Have you tried communicating to her about this issue?

[talaniman]

If You have not gotten to the point of thimking about a commitment then I would slow that train down, just because your not ready and she is. The basis of a good relationship is COMMUNICATION. Talking should be something the two of you do for now.

[Wildcat21]

Yeah - I think you too available to her. There is no mytery. You're all lovey dovey - she isn't. She has you - it's no fun for her. You're not a challenge.

Pull back - be interested in other thinsg in life.

Your TOO INTO HER - that's NOT healthy at all.

She only part of your life - NOT your life.

QUIT SMOTHERING her and she may be more into you. Yo give too much.

Work harder at work. Go to the gym. Be busy with friends sometimes.

Don't always call or e-mail.

[charlie123]

Everyone deserves for someone to think they are 'awesome - pretty & amazing & to be told that they are loved'! I'm not a big fan of playing relationship games - so I would follow my heart. She may not be ready to say those 3 words:) Maybe something in her past is making her hesitant - just try to be patient as long as she is showing that she cares about you in other ways. I like Wildcat's advice to try to find other positive things to occupy your time.

Just for the record - my husband told me that he loved me before I fell in love with him! I knew that I really liked him - but for some reason I hadn't really thought about it that deeply. I told him that I really cared for him - but I didn't want to say that I loved him until I felt it deep in my heart. I remember that night after the first time he said that - I went home & decided that I wanted to give him 100% of my attention. And after I let my guard down - I fell deeply in love with him! And although we have our ups and downs - he is my best friend & we have been married for 8 years & have a precious little boy that's 3.

I told you all of that because I wanted you to know that it can work out - if it's meant to. So, continue being the sweet, attentive guy that you have always been & show her that you love her instead of using those 3 words for a while.

Good Luck - and may God guide you to know what to say & do.

[s_cianci]

What kind of "subtile hints" is she giving you? If she won't even say "I love you", I have to question whether she's really looking for more of a commitment. To say that "she shows her feelings in other ways" is purely a subjective judgement on your part. I realize there may be some merit to showing her feelings with actions rather than words and talk is cheap but if you sense there's a red flag here then there probably is. I think you need to discuss this with her.

[Wildcat21]

Oh my god Charlie123!! That is soooooooooooooo cool thtat is completely whatit's all about!! That the greatest!!

[velvetjones]

Better that she doesn't say something she doesn't mean. It doesn't sound like the feelings are mutual in your situation at all.

[King Ali]

I know how you feel man that happened to me I fell in love with this girl it was like love at first sight one problem with that I felt it she didn't one night we were sitting at the movies and you know the old trick yawn put your arm around her and that's when I decided to tell her I loved her. Yup first mistake that's not what she wanted to hear let alone wanted to say I found out she just got out of a serious 6 year relationship. Point is I made a mistake and I believe you are too take it slower relax you got awhile for love quit with the love stuff and just hang out a year isn't long enough believe me I know it takes years to actually love somebody all right so just take it slower and don't worry if she still doesn't say it the next time just wait a little longer then tell her again and I guarantee your relationship will last. Good luck



Create your own destiny let no one decide for you
And remember people its not arrogance its intelligence

[kp2171]

There always needs to be a balance.

What are the "other ways"? If its sexual, it might just be her getting her fix.

The fact that you wrote here implies that you would like her to verbalize her feelings more.

OK. What are the possibilities?

1) she is on the same page as you but she can't say it for some reason

2) she likes you, but she likes being in control better

3) she isn't on the same page, but she's using you for sex or other satisfaction

There might be others. I'm too tired to figure them out tonight.

Take a minute and stop thinking about her as the sexy girl you think she is. Think about her as if she were dating your best guy friend. What would you tell him? Is she hot enough to put up with this crap? Is she really nice but a little distant? What would you say to your brother? That's probably the advice you should follow.

And more details. What are the cues she gives you to let you know she wants more?

My wife is strong willed, but likes me to take the lead in some things. Maybe yours is the same?

The more details you can give, the more we can try to understand.