[Nighteyes]

I'm from ontario, canada.
I doubt many people on here know canadain law but I'm going to ask anyway.
Does anyone have any idea as to how a father can go about getting out of child suport.. or well droping it to an actual resonable amount.
I'm asking not because my boyfriend is a dead beat cause he is far from it, but because his ex and the mother of the child is. She just got kicked off welfar because they finally said they've had enough of her failing high school to acquire it. So now she's out of school and off welfar and finally seeing that the real world isn't so sweet. And in return she's gone to the FRO office ot up the child suport, in which my boyfriend can't affored. I am not paying it for him because (call me what you want) I didn't open my legs and creat this child its NOT my reponsability.
Anyway, SHe wants more $$, as well as she's threating to take the child away so she can go live with her aunt for free. My boyfriend doenst drive, I'm in school (pre med) and don't have enough hours in the day to go pick him up for him, not that I would anyway.
I feel the system totally overlooks fathers...
In my opinion the FEMALE!! Has more say in the situation to have sex.. specially unprotected, so why do men have to do all the financal responsibility? I agree it takes two.. so BOTH should have EQUAL rights to that child! If ONE can't financhally suport the child it should go to the one who can!! Not the one living off the system..
Every case is different but in many I have seen this is the case! The father with NO criminal record not drug usage nothing ends up getting screwed over..
Why should my boyfriend have to pay suport to the mother of his child when she doenst do anything to help herself, she doenst take care of the child ( he's athmatic and she won't get him meds, he's malnurishied and because she doent want to waste time to get him to eat veg/fruit/anything healthy, she wouldn't buy him a winter hat because she needed smokes more.. etc etc) Why does he have to be on a visitation schedule? That NOT far to HIM or his son. The little guy is starving for attention cause his mom doesn't give it to him. Hes seeing a phsycologist that says he's emotionally tromatized by something, that he has no bone with his mother but a strong one with my boyfriend. Like why are men forced to pay for this?
And thanks to the child suport we can't affored a lawyer to ever attempt custady. She's all about herself and nothing about the pool little guy.
We're at a loss!! What can a father do!! The system fails the children it was build to help and for what.. for girls who just don't know how ot say NO!! Grrr... (every case is different but in a majority this is the case! )
Signing away parently rights doenst get you out of suport, so what does? Why pay for a child you have no rights too, to begin with? You cnat see them at your convinence, you can't protectet them against the wrongs happening by the opposite parent, you can't do anything, but the mother has all those rights and usually used in an attempt to hurt the father with no thought of the child! Grr.. lost, what can he do.. sorry about the venting I could say so much more.. and nothing written here is untrue, or souly my opinion on things.
I may detest his ex, but its because she's a horrable mother not because she's the ex.

[krystal1973]

Wow Fathers in Canada have all of the financial responsibility of the child? In America child support is paid by the non custodial parent, but it is support and it is a percentage of what it cost to support them. Both parents are responsible for supporting the child.
I do not know your exact situation but this does sound a lot like what you hear noncustodial and custodial parents say about each other here in America.
I think a really bad mother is one who does drugs, abandons her children, beats them. But this mother sound like she is fairly young, how old is she?

[Nighteyes]

The mother is not 20. And the drug use, is there but hiden really well, not sure if she does them her self or not but he people she has around her son are.
I is normal to hear seperated/ devorced people bash one another its human nature. But in this case, I have seen it through both eyes. Her additude is very selfish, all about her self, her curent buddy was asked to stop being around the son by my boyfriend after his son told him he didn't like this guy. My boyfriend called to talk to her about it and her exact words to the situation was, the budys only around when the sons asleep, because he's a bad influence on her son, and he's only around because in her words *i need my fun too, sons name is not my whole life you know*. And in my eyes and the lawyers eyes (that we can't affored) she is emotionaly abandoning her child because she won't make him a priority in her life. She is selfish, using the child for $$$ and to hurt my boyfriend, and it works, and its wrong. The little guy deserves sooo much better, like stubility, caring people to take care of him and people who actaully make spending time with him a priority. The situation is a mess.. and to me (not being my responsisbility for one) its all because some little girl wouldn't say NO and some moron (being my boyfriend.. lol) wound't keep it in his pants. But even so.. this child deserves better then what he has. And paying for some girl to run around neglect a child and keep it away from someone else.. is down right rediculas...
She is young and very childish herself.. and just for thos not even verything else she shouldn't have him.. shes had four year to grow up and step to the plate.. and what has she done... nothing... not far to the little guy at all

[Fr_Chuck]

I would just wonder, and I am sorry to say it this way, but if you and your boyfriend had a baby, and he left , and you had the baby, you are sayinig that he would not need to pay you child support? Of course you don't want his money going to the other women and baby and want the money there for you and him,

If you were the women and it was your baby, you would be wanting money to help with baby sitter, to help pay for the child's needs.
Of course I know, he would not leave you right, I am sure that other girl thought the same thing.

And if the girl is not being a good mother, the boyfriend can always go back to court and sue for custody and use all that evidence of being a bad mother in court.

[LadyB]

Instead of complaining about child support he should try for custody to ensure his child is in a safe and secure environment. If the mother is so unfit, I imagine the court might consider awarding him custody, and perhaps you can find an affordable attorney who will accept payments (there are some who do pro-bono work as well, because they care about kids).

[Nighteyes]

One, if I were to be dumb enough to have a child before I was stable enough to do so I would fess up to my own stupidity and take responsibility. I Wouldn't want his money because he has his own life to suport and the child to suport when HE has him.. end of that matter.. unlike most women who get knocked up and have children out of wed lock and then try to take the man for all he's worth just for $$$$, I know HOW to suport myself and in the event of a child a child as well with out resorting to someone else's money or welfare like soooo many do thanks FR_.
And on the note of getting custody, we are working on it.. in the community we live in it's the parent who can flash the most cash that's more fit unless ones on welfare then it's the one who can minipulate the best. Our lawyer is one of the best, but very expenssive, he garentees custody upon completion of Payments.
The mother can't do wrong by the system... here.. she could be shooting up with drugs and in in front of the child and still better suited then a decent father.. canada don't run like that states with regards to children.
And to many stupid teens getting knocked up just to get $$$ here...

[Michelle0410]

Okay I am 21 years old and my father fought for me until I was a freshman in high school, my biological mother was your basic crackhead who just liked to drain my father of as much money as she possibly can.

a. If the baby is physically malnurished then have the father turn her into your department of human resources... If he is traumatized and a professional is saying that, that is proof enough.

Don't worry so much about the child support, worry about getting that baby help, and DHS services don't cost anytihing at first, they look at everything. Its going to be a long hard process, it's a woman's owrld when it comes to children, for everydead beat dad out there, there are dead beat mothers... Good lUck and get that little boy some help!