[missbrightside]

I live with my mum and dad and my little sister and frankly, every day with them is absolute torture. My dad hits me in heated arguments, my little sister is a spoilt brat and my mum is just a .

My mum lives on the philosophy that if she isn't resting, I shouldn't be either. She believes that what defines a teenager isn't their (good, in my case) grades or their honesty with their parents (mine know everything, I never lie to them) or anything else of the sort, it is based primarily on exactly how much they help around the house. Everything good I do will be dismissed if I haven't done a certain chore. If I miss one chore in the week I will receive no spending money and my phone will not get paid for for the entire month. Now, bearing that in mind, I am 15 and I lead a busy lifestyle. I have a boyfriend and most of my best friends don't go to my school so I spend a lot of time out of the house. I have exams to work for because getting into university is my ticket out of this hellhole so I have to work hard. On top of all this, I am expected to take out the dishes from the dishwasher and put them all in, take my sister to school and most nights make her dinner, be a freelance babysitter (i.e. I could have told my mum I have plans for Saturday night on Monday and she will make me cancel them on Saturday afternoon to watch my sister for no money whatsoever), set and clear the table at dinner (when I don't really eat any of the food but that's a different issue) and do my own laundry. For all this I get £15 a week, but fail to do one thing and I get nothing. I feel a little hard done by.

Anyway, about an hour ago, I was sat in the living room watching TV, minding my own business when suddenly the dog starts throwing up on the carpet. In the house there are two dogs, one dog that basically belongs to my mum and the other that belongs to the family. This was my mum's dog. I had no idea what to do so I let it out into the garden and called my mum down, and she demanded that since I witnessed the dog doing this, I have to help clean it up. She screamed at me that I was a who does nothing around the house and I am not allowed to use the straighteners in the morning so I'll look like .

GAHHH help?
I can't deal with it.

[simoneaugie]

Your Dad should not be hitting you, no matter how heated the argument gets.

You are 15. That is a difficult age for you and your parents. Believe it or not, they may not know how to be the parents of a 15-year-old and are learning as they go. Unless they attend parenting classes, the only way they learned was by being 15 and dealing with their own parents. That's hard to remember when a parent is tired from working all day.

It sounds like your Mum is worried that you'll end up a lazy teen. (I didn't see myself as I was until I had my own teenage daughter, but I was lazy and mostly useless until I was 22.) Your Mum is tired and needs your support. Clean up the dog vomit, then take out the trash, then pick up some stuff that is lying around and put it away. Forget the "yours and mine" mentality. The place you live is where you get taken care of, take care of it.

The $30-odd, (15 pounds) a week that is your allowance is given when you are following the rules. It is given to you to spend as you like, appreciate it. The phone is an expensive privilege too, act like it. That being said, you should not be required to look after your sister every Saturday night. You need to go out and learn about the world.

If your Mum is working and you have to feed your little sister all the time, that's one thing. She is the Mum though, and taking care of the children is her job. It's your Dad's job too. When you help out, you are learning to be an adult. Being a kid is something you need to learn to mix with responsibility. I think you are doing a great job. Just keep it up and quit arguing and getting angry about it. It's easier to just do the things you are asked to, then play.

[missbrightside]

If your Mum is working and you have to feed your little sister all the time, that's one thing.

That is what is making me angriest, my mum isn't working. She's a housewife.

[simoneaugie]

Does she know how you feel? Can you have a calm discussion with her, using "I" statements? She wants you to be a useful and working member of the household and the whole world. Ask her about her philosophy. Refuse to show anger.