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pookie bear24 · Nov 27, 2006, 04:04 PM

I've known this guy for 8 months.. and everything was AMAZING in the beginning,we spent hours talking and he had the best nicknames for me :)
But on day 1 he told me he doesn't do relationships except open ones and I always said no to that offer! But as time passed I fell for him harder and harder,and I never told him as I kind of liked what we had,even though I used to get jealous when he talked 2 other girls and I could never hide it. He always wanted to go out and we shared some of the best hugs ever.but these past 2 months everything changed... he stopped calling as much,the cute nicknames just went away,and he didn't seem that interested anymore... then 2 weeks ago he rang and said we should stop everything... when I said why? Why don't we have an open relationship if you want to? And he said that even if he did want a relationship it would never ever be with me because I'm just not his type and that I should leave him alone!:'( at 1st I thou maybe he fell for me too and that's y he's doing this but he swore on he's life he didn't! What do I do? How can I get over this? :( tnxz x

Wildcat21 · Nov 27, 2006, 04:12 PM

He wants his cake and eat too. Not good - not healthy.

I personaly don't think he is right for you - he playing gwit hyour emotions and you showed all your cards too soon.

He's a manipulator.

Go find some one who can have a relationship.

It's always amazing in the beginning - but you see his true colors now. He knows wha tyou want.

I'd cut all contact with him and see if he comes back - THEN you set things on your terms only. KEEP your cardss to yourself going forward -DON'T Mortgage YOUR SOLE TO A STRANGER!!

You lust for him because you can't have him - People Want What They Can't Have. Always.

valinors_sorrow · Nov 27, 2006, 04:37 PM

Games. Talking for hours is not a sound basis for falling anywhere but off the turnip truck, sweetie. Sorry but when you play games, sometimes you lose. Its just how it works. When you are done with all the drama and are ready to be real, then maybe it will change for you. But in the meantime, by all means, chase after him, hound him even... I mean after all, he came up with such great nicknames. :rolleyes:

Wildcat21 · Nov 27, 2006, 05:04 PM

That which is chased - runs.

Trying chasing your shadow. You never can catch it.

pookie bear24 · Nov 27, 2006, 05:29 PM

He did used 2 get a bit jealous himself,and we workd near each other and saw each other everyday,but I soon as I quit that's when things started 2 change... Even though I still care,I can't help but hate him as well because I gave him 8 months of my life and he then he says I'm not his type,coming from someone who always said he didn't have a type. And I know the nicknames don't seem as a big deal,but they were personal :( he only ever had 1 girlfriend that meant SOMETHING to him but she cheated on him,and now he's scared of getting hurt again!

Skell · Nov 27, 2006, 05:35 PM

Offering him an open relationship...

Why would you do that? Is that what you wanted?

The sooner you get over your hate and stop worrying about him and his feelings the better you will feel.

I know it is hard but you have to realise that it is over and put it down to one that just didn't work.

8 months is a bit of time I know, but you will probably have numerous relationships, both shorter and longer than this over the years.

So just try and learn the lessons that are there the be leanrt and move on.

So in answer to your question of how to get over it I say?

Forget him and realise that it is over. He didn't love you and most probably never will. That might be hard to accept but I think it is true in this situation I'm sorry!

Good luck!

s_cianci · Nov 27, 2006, 06:49 PM

He's only into "open relationships." Obviously that's not your style and I don't blame you. Since you're not an "open relationship" person he no doubt feels hindered by your desire for real intimacy and exclusivity. That's most likely why he abruptly ended things and said that you're "not his type." Chalk this one up to experience and move on.

valinors_sorrow · Nov 27, 2006, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by pookie bear24

Even tho I still care,I can't help but hate him aswell cos I gave him 8 months of my life

I would like to politely point out that you did not give him eight months of anything but attention. And you did it freely as was your choice. That time would have passed anyway and if you are going to blame him for playing with you, I would remind you that you were the one playing back. You aren't owed a boyfriend out of any deal you might have struck up with him. This hating him thing is evidence of how much you still need to blame others and not take responsibility for what you do. Little kids do that. You just need to do some growing up and fortunately time will take care of that. It does get easier, Pookie, it really does and with it comes a different perspective. You will one day laugh over how silly your emphasis on nicknames will seem. Not now, later. In the meantime, try to relax, date, have fun, and don't take so much so seriously.