[poppysue]

I don't know what to do. My Partner ( we are a females same sex couple) still lives at home, sleeping in the same bed together, but wants to separate after 18 years. She has gone to a Solicitor and he advised her to seek Mediation, as we can't agree what do to next. Both of us don't want to sell the House(jointly owned) she wants to move and rent the house out and wants me to do the same. I suggested that we could live here together but have separate bedrooms, not only for financiaal reasons but also so our 17 teen year old can continue her College education and does not need to move.
My Partner has to ring the solicitor back with all sorts of details, which should have been done twoo weeks ago, in order to sort things out, but so far she keeps talking about it but still has not done this.
She had moved out for about two weeks but came back and apart from no intimace we have been getting along fine. Last night she put some music on ( Dolly Parton very smooth and the lyrics made me cry as they are soooo true) she then gave me a massage and asked if I could do the same, she asked "If you Love me like you say you do, why can't you let me go? and i replied "If you really want to go then I could not stop you, no matter how much I love you!
We then lay on the bed listening to Dolly and she started to cry, saying that she loves me more than anything but feels depressed aound me. She came and lay in my arms hugging me and squeezing so hard as she did not want to let go. Not a word was spoken just nice.
Is she going? Will I loose her, My heart is broken and it feels like its been ripped out.

[N0help4u]

She is the only one that can answer if she will decide to go.
She needs to look inside herself and figure out exactly what it is that makes her feel that she wants to leave. Why she feels depressed around you and all. Sounds like she is confused and not sure what direction she wants to go.

[Romefalls19]

She sounds confused but only she can decided what she is going to do. Either stay or go, the emotional roller coaster for you needs to stop

[poppysue]

I know she is confused because one minute she does not want to know the next she asks for a hug, kiss or just asks me if I am OK and so on.
I am giving her the space she needs, never questioning where she goes, what she does. She tell me herself, and always text me asking if I am OK. I never text her or ring her these days as I don't want to be to clingy.

I and others believe she is going through a midlife crises and the menopause, my Partner has admitted that she is herself confused and believes that she heading through the midlife crises.

I try to stick it out but its hard as all I want to do is Love her. The rollercoaster is hard to cope with but when you love somebody that much, like you know you can't live without them, like they part of you, you try don't you??

I be grateful for any advice, even going to counseling or something, but have asked her to go with me. No answer from her at the moment to that.

Help me to keep my strength

Thank you all of you

[talaniman]

If she won't go with you, go to counseling yourself, for you. You need something to distract you from this situation for a while, and the sooner the better.

I think stepping back, and getting a different perspective, would help you figure out a course of action, that works for you. Your right when we love someone we try, but sometimes we try to hard.

Step back!

[poppysue]

Hi Talaniman

I have made an appointment with a councelor through the Doctors. I do need to step back you right. I can't go on like this.
Thank you
Poppysue

[Romefalls19]

I'm glad you are taking the right steps and doing things for yourself. Congrats and keep your head up!

[poppysue]

Hi Romefalls19
Thank you, I can't go on like this and I need help desperatly.
Poppy