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CandyJar14 · Aug 3, 2014, 09:26 AM

Hi everyone. I have this boyfriend of mines and he's like 19 and we been dating for a month now. I been really excited since me and him been dating but I also was eager to hear his voice. So I asked him if me and him could skype but he said "no but you can wait". p.s. Im 16 by the way. So I then asked for a picture of his hand and he told me no not until I'm older. That really made me feel he's hiding who he really is and it really trips me out and stresses me. I don't see what's so hard about taking a picture of your own hand you know? And yesterday I asked him "did you ever wanna be with me for a long time" and he said no. But then after that question he said "with my last ex i knew instantly that me and her would last forever". I actually got upset how he told me that and then he was like "Sooo...You know I love you". What he's doing to me just isn't fair. Any thoughts?

Wondergirl · Aug 3, 2014, 09:38 AM

Dating? Dating is a real-life activity like going out for pizza or to a movie. You mean you've been only emailing or IMing? How do you communicate? No visuals? You've never met in person? How do you know he isn't 63 or female?

teacherjenn4 · Aug 3, 2014, 10:09 AM

This is not a boyfriend. As Wondergirl told you, this person may not be a boy or even 19. So, why don't you take the time to hang out with your real friends that you can see and touch and actually enjoy? School will be starting soon, and wasting any more time on a pretend boyfriend isn't going to make your summer any better.

DoulaLC · Aug 3, 2014, 10:56 AM

Do not ignore the red flags that are waving right in front of you.

IF he was who he says he is, there would be no reason not to speak to you and see you through Skype. It feels exciting to think that this "19 year old guy" loves you and that you are dating, but stop and think about it. If you were really into someone, and you were an honest person, wouldn't you want to actually talk to and see them??

"No, but you can wait.....Not until you're older"? That just sounds creepy! Don't buy any of his excuses to put you off any longer.

Block him and stop communicating with him. Wait until you can meet someone that you can actually spend time with in person and get to really know who they are.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 3, 2014, 07:12 PM

Sounds pretty creepy to me. What you are doing is not dating, you're chatting and he does not even what you to know what he looks like.
You need to click end and be done with him.

Jake2008 · Aug 4, 2014, 09:41 PM

Give your head a shake! Surely you are aware of online predators. There is education everywhere from home, to school, to friends, to articles. Google the characteristics of predators, and learn how to protect yourself.

I have seen great strides in police tracking down these men, and along with that, confiscating their computer equipment, which would of course, include your email address, which would then also include, them contacting your parents.

You really need to grow up a little bit. You taking part in a relationship like this, not knowing who the other person is, and doubting this yourself, only shows that you are are ripe for the picking for the next loser that comes along.

So, don't think that the next stranger is any better is what I'm saying. You can prove nothing of a person's identity online, because they are prepared to show and tell you a different person that matches your age, to keep you coming back for more. And to keep you coming back to give more- like your name, address, phone number, school you attend, etc. etc. etc.

Are you really this dense?

Stop this before it goes any further. Delete and don't mess with another one- there are too many of them, and you haven't got a clue what you're getting yourself into by communicating with them.

Sheesh.

Courtney_beam06 · Aug 4, 2014, 11:00 PM

Just tell him how you feel. If he truly loves you he'll understand and try to make it up to you. If not he's not worth it. It's best to be honest

CandyJar14 · Aug 5, 2014, 04:28 PM

Ok so I'm sure some of you guys already read my suspicious boyfriend question but today I told my boyfriend this
Look.. I know I said I cld wait but sometimes I gtta realize things I trust you more than you cld ever know but thing is I really need to hear your voice and it was bad enough I cldnt get a hand pic or face pic at least or snthin and you had an attitude with that so not only does it show me you were upset and not loving while doing it but you may be hiding smthin and I don't know what but your hiding and I've been wanting to voice skype or at least see your face and if that is not possible then your hiding smthin from me you say your deeply in love with me but a man who's deeply in love with his girl wld do anything for her including skype voice or a face pic so your hiding smthin
And after he read that message I told him that all my friends didn't trust him and suggested he was hiding something and he said "well you keep talking to your friend from now on" and he left... I was really heart broken.. any thoughts?

odinn7 · Aug 5, 2014, 04:39 PM

Sure, I have some thoughts...the guy was lying to you and was hiding something. Be glad he's gone. It's only been a month and no, you weren't really dating if you never even met or went out together. Ever see the MTV show, "Catfish"? There are liars all over the place on the internet. What makes you think this guy was being honest with you when he wouldn't even talk to you or let you see him? He was lying and could have been anyone from another girl all the way up to a 70 year old pedophile...how are you to know? The fact that he did this proves he was something that you didn't really need to be dealing with anyway.

Get over it and move on. And stick to people that you can meet in real life.

talaniman · Aug 5, 2014, 04:48 PM

You are definitely being PLAYED by someone smarter than you. NO DOUBT! Its called passive/aggressive manipulation. Its how you CONTROL a desperate, needy personality person. You either break off contact or do as they tell you.

Easy choice, Stop all contact, and stop them from contacting you, because they have attacked your dignity, and self respect.

DoulaLC · Aug 5, 2014, 05:03 PM

Hurts now, but an important lesson learned. Don't be too quick to give your heart away. It is always nice to feel that someone is interested in you, and certainly makes you feel special when they say that they love you, but you are learning that, sadly, some people will think more of their self and what they can get from someone else.

Block any way for him to contact you. Be sure not to contact him again either. (Hopefully you didn't send him pictures of yourself). Now you know what to watch out for when you talk to people online.

You will be okay... be thankful it didn't go any further. Now you will be wiser because of it.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 5, 2014, 05:28 PM

Heartbroken? You didn't even know the guy. You've never seen him or talked to him, you've been chatting with hi for a month. He probably saw you were on to him and the only way you were is because people here told you to wake up. Stay away from this online crap. Whenever someone declares love after a month and he's never even met you, that should be a clue there is some bs going on.