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straw_berry · Feb 19, 2007, 01:50 PM

I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now, and I love him and his family, and I don't know what I'd do without them. But, I think I've fallen out of love with him. The thing is we don't really get along all that much, and we don't share much in common. I like spending time with him, and feel comforted around him, but most of the time we have different agendas. For one he likes to party a lot, and I don't. I'm not totally against it or anything, I just don't like to do it all of the time. He always needs people around him, needs to be active drinking etc. And I would rather be alone or with a small group of people. He drinks 4 to 5 nights of the week, I drink maybe 3 times a month. And when he drinks he usually gets overlly drunk, kind of unattractive. So my first question is: is it worth it? And are we just opposites attract? Secondly: do you think he is an alcoholic? Any observations would help:(

louie101 · Feb 19, 2007, 02:12 PM

Just tell him that you want to be friends and that's it. If he is not OK with that then don't even be his friend.

Wildcat21 · Feb 19, 2007, 03:05 PM

This is pretty easy - sounds like a lot of deal breakers. You sound so much more mature then him.

Doesn't he have anything better to do with himself? What a complete waste. He also sounds really insecure.

Nosnosna · Feb 19, 2007, 03:37 PM

I'd classify him as an alcoholic, yes. Trouble is, you can't really do anything to change that... The only thing that will make him get away from that is to recognize that his problems are caused by and not solved by the alcohol. Most of the time, life has to get pretty crappy to come to that realization.

talaniman · Feb 19, 2007, 06:25 PM

Yes you both are different. So where is the communication that is supposed to help smooth out the bumps?

JoeCanada76 · Feb 19, 2007, 06:40 PM

Tal is right here. Communication is very important in a relationship and without it, it will not work out.

People who are different, in a relationship does not mean it will not work out. If you both take the steps to make things work.

Honesty and communication is key here.

Joe

Yagita · Feb 19, 2007, 07:07 PM

straw_berry,

It isn't working is it? Do you have children together? If not, I suggest you move on because he is on a downward spiral and it will take a lot of work for him to change that. Do you see him changing anytime soon? Are you prepared to put up with this situation for the rest of your life?

Answer those questions and you will know what your next step will be.

blueshadow_393 · Feb 19, 2007, 07:29 PM

Yes I do believe that would clasify him as an alcoholic. I also think that you should end it. He's not being healty for himself, so he's definantly not healty for you. Also if you've fallen out of love, then you should be looking for more love, and to do that you can't be bound down by a dying relationship. Then you don't get along with him? Why are you with someone you don't get along with, there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and there are definantly some that are smarter and more mature then him. Go fishing.
So to answer your first question, no I don't think its worth it for you to force yourself through a relationship that you don't feel about, with a person you don't love or get along with.