[Sealmyster]

My wife and I, (we're both women) met this other female couple 11 months ago.

Because my wife and I were having problems with our relationship, we sought out a therapist. The therapist advised us that this particular friendship may not be healthy for us at the time due to many issues that came up during the 8 months of knowing them. She highly recommended that we continue working on our relationship without any outside distraction from this couple for a while. If later our relationship was strong enough, we could re-visit the idea of this friendship later. My wife hesitantly agreed, yet did appear to understand exactly where I and the Therapist was coming from.

For the next 2 months things between my wife and I didn't improve. My wife felt that we lost our ability to be friends and missed that in our relationship. She became distant. She even felt that she may not ever be able to feel "In love" with me again. I never gave up. However, she did, and we decided to work on a friendship only. One day we had a very bad fight and she ended up at these friends house that night. The three of them bonded again that night. They invited my wife to go to Hawaii with them, and She said "Yes". They even bought her a first class ticket for $2k for her to go with them this coming August. My wife told me about this trip about a week later and told me she was going to go with them without me.

Since then, we have completely worked out all our issues. We've fallen back in love. We communicate better now than we ever have. We share very intimate things that not many couples would ever share. In fact we plan to renew our vows in the near future.

We are back to hanging out with this couple again, however, these friends still blame Me for the separation of the friendship, even though my wife was also part of the decision along with the advice of the therapist. The trip to Hawaii is still on, however, one of the friends, my wife's best friend is still very adimit that she is taking only my wife with them. She has also told my wife it is because she has already made plans that don't include me.

This best friend knows that Hawaii is a very important place for my wife and I. She has been told recently by my wifer about how we've have discussed going to to Hawaii alone together for many years. During the friendship break, my wife asked me if I would take her to Hawaii and I told her "Yes".

I have spoken to some very good friends of mine who are in long term, loving relationships, both straight and gay. They've told me that this other couple should respect that my partner and I are now happily together. They believe that I should be invited to go without any question. If not, there will definitely be tension between the friendship, but even more importantly with the relationship with my partner and I.

My wife has asked this friend to change her mind and she still says no. Originally, my wife didn't understand why it was so important for me to go, since these plans were made when it seemed that we were just about over. Her feelings have changed now and says she wants me to go with them, but in the same breath says she has no idea if I will get invited or not. Either way, she says I should not worry and trust that she will take care of it before August. She says to give it time, as we still have some time before the trip and this friend could still change her mind. My feelings are that my wife should make a stand on this as soon as possible.

Is there anything wrong with this picture?

[Fr_Chuck]

Of course there is,

It is obvious that at least to your partner they are more than mere friends.
They have other levels of relationship than mere friendship in plans or in actions.

Change the names put this as a man and wife and one of them was going away on a trip with someone else, and it would be divorce before they got back from the trip.

And if your friend does not understand why you should be there, you two really don't have a deep relationship of any kind.

Sorry to be blunt but it is so obvoius from what you have wrote

[love and be loved]

Something is very wrong with her not wanting you on the trip
And I think that if nothing is done about it soon you should not tell you partner how wrong it is but go right up to this "friend" and tell her what is on your mind

;) :) :rolleyes: good luck! :rolleyes: :) ;)

[talaniman]

Take a stand and don't let anyone move you from your position. Tell your partner either they go or you go! They are undermining your relationship and if your partner can't see it, you need another partner,period!:cool: :mad:

[fredg]

Hi,
A good relationship is built on compromise, trust, caring, love, and wanting the other to be happy.
This relationship you have now has changed. I agree with the answer before this one; that you really need to talk with your partner. If she doesn't agree to stop seeing this other person, your relationship is very much in danger.
You might have to move on eventually. I do wish you the best.