Check out some similar questions!

sajid ali · Nov 3, 2008, 01:30 PM

My question is same but this time I'm going to introduce myself properly I'm 24 year's old male muslim and graduate I'm middle class I love some one she's also belong from my family her age is 20 year and she's illetrate the problem is that my family don't want that I make her my wife simple word's no marry my family told me that her carector is not up to the mark and she's a bad girl and also she told me everything about her self that she done some mistakes in her past but now she love me so much and told me that if she not become my wife then she'll done something wrong with her self same situation here in home my mother and elder brother told me the same words if I take her hand then I loss my family and if took my family then I'm going to loss her please help me brothers what can I do how can I manage this situation tell me islamic point of wiev about this situation please with many islamic examples thank you.

DoulaLC · Nov 3, 2008, 01:53 PM

I am so sorry that you are in such a difficult situation. I can't help you with regard to Islamic views as I am not familiar with that, but I would worry about marrying someone who threatens to harm themselves if you don't do what they want you to do. Yes, I know you love her, but putting you in such a difficult position is a form of manipulation. Will you always have to do what she wants if she says she will harm herself? Do you want that sort of relationship?
One thing I have learned is that you can care very deeply for someone, even love them, but that does not mean they are the best choice for a marriage partner.
Maybe give it some more time and see how things go... is there any reason you have to marry right away? Can you wait another year or two and see how the relationship progresses? This can give your family time to get to know her better, and for you to see if she really is the best choice for you.
If it is meant to be, it will still happen in another year or so.

sajid ali · Nov 4, 2008, 12:57 PM

Thank you for a good reply but one year is gone in this situation but nothing is in normal position as I told you that I'm a middle class person and she's also and we are from pakistan you know in our country the problem is that every middle class family wants their children marriage as soon as possible so she's afraid of this that if her family fix her marriage with someone then she will do the same and one thing more that our relationship is become so deep she's just like my wife many time we sleep togather that's would I'm saying that I don't want to cheet her.

DoulaLC · Nov 4, 2008, 02:01 PM

I don't know for sure, but I am guessing the Islamic point of view of the two of you sleeping together already would be that it is not OK.

Since you have already taken that step, and you feel you really want to marry her, then I guess the real issue is whether you think your family would really stop wanting to acknowledge you. Would you really lose them or do you think they would get used to it at some point? Would marrying this girl be worth the possible loss of your family?

If you truly feel, in your heart, that it is what you want to do... and not because you worry she will do something if you don't, or that you want to protect her from her family having her marry someone else, but because you really want to spend the rest of your life with her, then do what you feel you need to do... and pray that your family will understand and accept it, at least maybe later on if not right away.