[Barbara kroneng]

He would always tell me I was his best friend. We would talk about everything! He trusted me with his secrets. I have been divorced from his father before he was born. I always called him my miracle baby. He was meant to be born at the worst time if my life. Up until his 17th birthday when his dad bough him a car our mom and son relationship was magical. Turns 17 , has his car... puff... he hates me. Yells at me for everything. Shows no respect at all. He became mean and so very insensitive. This is killing me. I have a depression problem as it is and is just throwing the coals in the fire. I am so hurt, I can't take it any more. I can't talk to him about it because he doesn't care at all how I feel and what I have to say? Please give me some suggestions, the pain is really getting to me.
Thank you,

[Fr_Chuck]

Normally it happens a little sooner and they rebel. He is doing things most likely he does not want you to know, he is wanting to be treated more as adult than a miracle baby.

He has more freedom now and using it

[talaniman]

The miracle baby has grown to be a man and its time to cut the apron strings and let him go and grow. This change is normal and common, but he shouldn't be nasty, or disrespectful. And you should never allow it.

Continued bad behavior should result in him leaving. If he is man enough to disrespect you, he is man enough to fend for himself, and you should build a life that you enjoy for yourself, that's not wrapped around him. That's very hard for a parent, but must be considered when our children become adults.

[kishmish25]

Oh I am SO with you on this Barbara. My son is 18 and we were the closest in the world... when he was little I used to call him my "Central Casting Baby" because he had that Gerber look---and yep, my husband left me before he was born too.
Yours got his car? Mine got his job at Best Buy and I kid you not, within a couple of months he'd met a girl in the store and suddenly he didn't want to be around me anymore. Now he's moved in with her cousin's family and is very resentful about me, lies like a rug to everyone!
So imagine the weirdness of disliking the boy... but still loving him. Welcome to my sad, whacked out world.
To be fair though I've always clung to him, been over protective, and never even considered dating someone while I was raising him because there are just TOO MANY stories about mothers with "boyfriends" who kill the children.
Nope, no way will that even come NEAR to happening to my chappy.
Oh but he loathes me now. I rather suspect that some of it is a carefully manufactured hate to make leaving home easier.
The closer you are and the more happily enmeshed in one another's lives you are the harder it is to leave and do that whole animal breeding hookup shizz with someone else.
Sadly, they are stuffed full of chemicals shrieking "HOOK UP AND BREED YOU LITTLE HUMAN ANIMAL!!!" at them.
The more they love their home and mother the harder it is to leave and answer the call of that skanky primal chemical cocktail.

Yeah, the idea that someone whose physical and emotional well being you ALWAYS put first holds YOU so cheaply he can't even contact you or spend time in your company without constantly shredding you is murder.
The truth is that everyone's child will ALWAYS be their "baby" That's the way the good mothers roll. He may be an effing pro linebacker with a string of extramarital affairs and children but you can bet when the lunatic with the gun starts taking pot shots, little mum's first thought will be to push her son aside and shield him with her body.

Gah, I have no answers for you. I'm in the middle of it today (just got Satan's text from the kid... Happy New Year to him too!)But our situations are nearly the same. I'm planning to just leave him alone, let it ride and go into real estate. Of course making money seems so blah without my most beloved friend in all the world... but, it'll keep me busy.
Ahh, Ms Kroneng you are not alone, which means this might be more common than we knew. If we can just fill the interim with things to do I suspect it will only be a matter of time before your Miracle and my Central Casting guy will look at us sheepishly and say... "I'm SO sorry! What the heck was I smoking?!!!" and all will be well with the world again. Best luck to both of us!

[joypulv]

What you must try to understand is that when a boy begins to be thinking about finding someone his own age for a relationship, he can't be in a relationship with his mother that is too close and needy. It just makes him feel guilty, and the guilt quickly turns to anger. Every little 'where were you' and 'why don't you spend more time with me' is going to drive him further and further away - as nature intended.
He also may resent his mother for the fact that his father wasn't in the picture, regardless of why that happened.