[dollydoo]

My little girl is 9 years old, she is the only child I have. Me and her dad split up when she was 1, but has and still has a great relationship with him. There is only me and my daughter who live in our house. She was such a loving child and always happy. At one time she loved to play and go places with friends and family. The last 12 months her behaviour has changed dramatically towards to me. She does not give me kisses and cuddles anymore, she will not have a proper conversation with me anymore. When I ask her about anything and try to talk to her, just have a normal conversation, she just answers No, So, Well. She won't even go out and mix with her friends or my family anymore, she just wants to stay in all the time and will not go out or do anything like she use to.

I'm getting really frustrated because its hurting me so much. I have tried to sit down with her and ask her if there is anything wrong or if there are any problems at school or if I have done anything to upset her, she just replies NO and then starts being nasty again towards me. I have even spoke to the school nurse and explained the situation. She told me she would speak to my daughter on her own, to see if she could find out if there was anything or any problems that my daughter would speak to her about, which maybe she couldn't speak to me about, then she would let me know the outcome. The nurse told me that she couldn't see anything wrong with my daughter and that she seemed a very happy child. I have even spoke to my daughters teachers and they tell me she's a happy, well behaved child.

I just wish I knew why she is being like this towards me and only me. Her attitute is horrible, she even said to me that she wishes I was dead and she hated me just because I wouldn't let her do something. It feels like somebody is ripping my heart out. I booked and bought tickets for the theartre as a surprise, just for me and her to see if spending some quality time together would help. We did not end up going in the end because she didn't want to and the answer I got was its boring, I don't want to go.

It really hurt me, I keep crying because I want my sweet little girl back.

[J_9]

Where is Daddy in the picture? Does he have visitation? Is he in her life at all?

She's starting a little young, but welcome to Single Parenting 101.

Do her friends have intact families or do most of them come from divorced/single parents? It sounds like she is very angry at something. What, I don't know.

I will tell you that you need to start being the parent and stop letting her be the parent. You bought theater tickets, but you didn't go because she didn't want to. Shame, shame. You bought them, they are expensive I'm sure, so she goes. No argument. She may have had a great time if you went, she was just acting the part of the spoiled brat because you caved in to her wishes.

Now is the time to stop your crying and put on your thick skin. Time to lay down some rules on appropriate behavior and have consequences if she does not follow them.

Does she have chores? Does she do her chores? If she doesn't have chores, time to make a chore list. If she doesn't do her chores, consequences if she does not do them.

Stop being a limp dishrag and be the strong parent she needs. She's beginning to get hormonal, this is around the time that it starts for some young girls and it's time for you to show her that you are stronger than her. You can't do that if you keep crying.

[Wondergirl]

Avoid quizzing her about how she feels about you.

Yes, she's in an early hormonal, pre-puberty stage where everything Mom says is not what she wants. Have you tried to cheerfully pick her brain as to what SHE (reasonably) would like to do? My mom got me into the kitchen, and we made simple recipes together (brownies, cookies -- super simple at first with box mixes and refrigerated cookie dough). Of course, if your daughter is especially oppositional, she will agree to something and then, at the last minute, refuse to do it. Maybe you can do whatever activity it would be and include one or two of her friends?

[talaniman]

Your sweet little girl is growing up and separating from the child she was. Let her be more independent and stop trying to keep the apron string so tight mom.

What does she do when she is at home? How does she occupy her time. I highly suggest you replace your hurt with watchful attention. Be a mom, not a friend.