[tinkerbell77]

Hello,
I've gotten lots of good advise and suggestion from previous posts. So I thought I'd give this one a shot. This is a really crazy situation. As you all know who have read previous post, I've had problems with my parents over the years. When I walked away from being a part of there lives they told many family members that I didn't want anything to do with them either. And told me that my other family members didn't want me calling them. Over the years I've been slowly re-uniting with family members that really did want to talk to me, as well as wanting to talk to them myself. I recently received a call from a dear cousin who informed me that my dad isn't really my dad. I had heard this before and blew it off. I've heard all kinds of wild stories, that I was adopted by my mom and dad... And so on... Stories that my Dad isn't my dad... or my mom not my mom... Well about 6 months ago I wrote a letter to the public records to see who was on my original birth certificate. They stated that my mother and father that raised me where the ones listed. But in any case, my cousin told me that my mom had an affair. That the whole family has tried to hide it from myself and many other family memebers. To the point that when I was born, my dad had my mom put him on the birth certificate and never breath another word about her affair. And my cousin said this is where all the stories started from. Cause no one knew what to tell me, and no one knew what story my "parents" were telling me. In any case, I really want to know IF I do have a bio dad that doesn't know about me. Or maybe knows, but went along with the secret?? Is there any way to find out?? My cousin said he'd help me as much as possible. He said he had wondered if it was my dad's brother, or another close friend of the family? I don't talk to either of these potential people... So I'm not sure how or IF I could get to the bottom of this. Any suggestions??

[Fr_Chuck]

Well calling public records will not tell you anything except that on the birth certficate they are your parents, I am adopted I know my real parents but if I was to call the court house they would tell me exactly the same thing, since the original birth certificates are normally sealed and not public, your "real" birth certificate if adopted is the ones with your adopted parents name on it, it would take more digging to find out if you are adopted.

But that does not mean you are, it just means it don't prove anything

Bottom line, perhaps seeing what is needed for a DNA test and see if you can get it done.

But perhaps talking to your mom even if you don't talk would be a start

[tinkerbell77]

So is there any way to court order a paternity test as an adult? I know nether of them would be willing to do it on there own. Or tell me the real story. When stories came up when I was a teen, I asked. And then again after I got married to my first husband. I asked IF they were my birth parents and couldn't get a straight answer.
I found a link to my state where you can send papers in to get info IF there was an adoption. But they can only respond IF the birth parents have given the OK. I guess that would be another starting point.
Thanks

[Fr_Chuck]

I guess I was thinking of a more "sneaky" way, ( confesson time tonight I guess) getting some hair off a comb, some other form of DNA that you could supply for a test. That they they did not know you were doing it.

One quick check is what are the blood types, I am not up any longer on if you have this and that, the children can't be something's.
So that is one quick way to rule out someone. ( sorry this was first year college biology and I just don't remember how those blood types work)

Next of course just asking them, and where where you born, look into the city news papers most listed births, are you listed in the newspaper as being born?

[tinkerbell77]

Sneaky would be good... I didn't think of that!

Also, the blood type is what threw me off.. I'm not good at that stuff. But I know that my Mom and Dad that are listed are both O type. One is possitive and one is negative. My mom even said she has a miscarraige cause she was suppose to have a shot? But didn't have the shot when I was born. But never explained why. My blood type is A+. So I don't know if that helps any one that is good at that stuff??

Lastly, I was listed in the paper. At least I think, cause in a book that my mom gave me it had a listing that I was born to mom and dad... With my cousins story and everything I've heard. I'm really starting to believe that when I was born my so called mom and dad put both there names on the certificate and never looked back. And my mom's affair went unknown in the books?? I guess it could very well happen it my parents were married and no one asked any questions? This was almost 30 years ago... So I'm not sure how I will get to the bottom of it?

[Fr_Chuck]

Maybe you should post over on biology section or medical section ( or both) and ask the blook qeustion, I just don't remember how it works myself