[Sodium]

I don't know what to do about my parent Mainly my mom
She's fine during the week, like the normal average mother
But on weekends she always drunk.
Right now she just got back from a bar with the neighbours. And is sleeping
The worste part is
She drove home, Now, she got a drive from our nieghbour back to their house and they only live a couple streets away and I was satying at there hosue watching my broher and their son, and then she took our truck and drove it home, My moms friends was trying to convince her out of the car but she didn't get out and she drove home, I made sure me and my brothers walked home because I was terrified of my mother in a car, she didn't just have one or two drinks
She was full out drunk. And thought she was fine, but she didn't know how much pressure to put on the gas and yeah. I really hate her right nnow.
What can I do for her
I want her to stop drinking how can I can about getting help for her?
I've mentioned it to her before and she just says I've worked all week and I can't enjoy a couple drinks on the weekend.
She's become an embarrassment my friends will come over on the weekend and my mom will be drunnk and ill say oh mom can you drive us to the theatre and like always she says no I've had a couple beers.
All of my friends basically know she's an alcoholic On weekends.
When my mom is drunk she does really stupid things
She hits on other guys when my dads right there, and tonight my dad was so angry that he left the bar and walked an hour home in the freezing cold.
Before she has just done really stupid things to upset my dad and me and my brothers.
I need to do soemthing about her before she gets herself killed.
Somebody Please help me, Ive lost all respect for my mother and I really think she needs help.
Please help me!
Thanks.

[Clough]

Pardon me if I already don't know this because you have been on this site for awhile. But, how old are you?

[Sodium]

14

[Clough]

Okay. That helps. Thanks!

I was trying to see about the possibilities of driving yourself to something like Alateen where you could meet and speak with other teens like yourself who are in similar situations.

Does your dad also drink so much that he gets drunk?

[Sodium]

He doesn't get Like my mom
My dads a little more sane

[Clough]

Do you know if your dad has ever spoken with your mom about getting help with her problem?

[Sodium]

I don't know.
I have this feeling that he probably hasn't said anything

[Clough]

Are you okay with sharing your concerns about your mom with your dad?

[Sodium]

Im fine with talking to my dad about her, but they obviously think its not a big deal, and my my moms not the type of person you would think woul have drinking issues, she's friendly with the neighbours, and just a good person during the week.

[Clough]

What are some of the things that you have said to your mom about her drinking? I mean, this is obviously very upsetting to you and also potentially not only dangerous to her but also to you and your friends if you happen to be riding in a car with her doing the driving while being under the influence.

You do need support and she needs help!

[Clough]

By-the-way, lots of people hide their drinking... They can seem just fine during the times when they need/want to be.

[simoneaugie]

Sodium,
My oldest daughter could tell you stories about me! I don't drink anymore. But, I know what you can and can't do in this situation.

First of all, your mom is an alcoholic 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Alcoholism is a disease that affects about 10% of americans. It's not her fault or anyone else's, alcoholism just is. When your mom is sober, during the week and you want to talk to her about something, do it then. Ask your dad for help in making sure that you and your brothers are safe. Do not get into the car with her if she has been drinking. Even if you have only seen her have one or two beers.

You can't make her quit drinking. You're too young to take responsibility for the rest of the family either. I would suggest joining Alateen. It might be scary to call and to get yourself there but you will be very glad you did. When you go, there will be teenagers all around you that totally understand what it's like living with an alcoholic.

If your dad isn't understanding, or doesn't seem willing to help you all the time, find another adult to be there when you need a ride or advise. Alateen can help you find help with this too. If your parents were perfect, you would never be alone with a drunk, or several people who drink too much. Nothing is ever perfect, but your safety is paramount. Tell me stuff if you need to. I'm listening. There are people who understand and care. You are not alone.

[Clough]

Great advice above, Sodium! :) What do you think of it?

[Sodium]

First of all,she's never drove me and my friends in the car when she's drunk I wouldn't dare let her.
Tonight was the first time she's drove home that I know of.
And what is alateen anyway? I've never heard of it
And Im possitive either my dad or my moms friend to help me out on talking to her.
But its 4 o clock So I need to sleeep so I won't be asnswering back as rapidly

[Sodium]

And when I mentioned my friends part, it's the fact that all of my friends parents will gladly drive us, but my mom has basically never droven us
And my friends are getting upset because they're mothers are driving us everywhere and there paretns are getting a little fed up

[Clough]

first of all,shes never drove me and my frends in the car when shes drunk i wouldnt dare let her. Good! I'm really glad to hear that! Now we know that you can "speak your piece" with your mother, tell her your concerns, but also be supportive and loving towards her!
tonight was the first time shes drove home that i know of.
and what is alateen anyway? ive never heard of it
and Im possitive either my dad or my moms frend to help me out on talking to her.
but its 4 o clock So i need to sleeep so i wont be asnswering back as rapidly

That's okay about not answering back so fast. This will take some time. You know that you have friends who will be supportive of you here.

You have said that it's about 4:00 A.M. where you are. Do you live in the Eastern part of the U.S.

For information on Alateen, please see the following Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen

[anniekee]

I dont know what to do about my parent Mainly my mom
shes fine during the week, like the normal average mother
but on weekends she always drunk.
right now she just got back from a bar with the neighbours. and is sleeping
The worste part is
She drove home, Now, she got a drive from our nieghbour back to their house and they only live a couple streets away and i was satying at there hosue watching my broher and their son, and then she took our truck and drove it home, My moms friends was trying to convince her out of the car but she didnt get out and she drove home, I made sure me and my brothers walked home because i was terrified of my mother in a car, she didnt just have one or two drinks
She was full out drunk. and thought she was fine, but she didnt know how much pressure to put on the gas and yeah. I really hate her right nnow.
what can i do for her
I want her to stop drinking how can i can about getting help for her?
ive mentioned it to her before and she just says ive worked all week and i can't enjoy a couple drinks on the weekend.
Shes become an embarassment my frends will come over on the weekend and my mom will be drunnk and ill say oh mom can you drive us to the theatre and like always she says no ive had a couple beers.
all of my friends basically know shes an alchoholic On weekends.
When my mom is drunk she does really stupid things
She hits on other guys when my dads right there, and tonight my dad was so angry that he left the bar and walked an hour home in the freezing cold.
before she has just done really stupid things to upset my dad and me and my brothers.
I need to do soemthing about her before she gets herself killed.
Somebody Please help me, Ive lost all respect for my mother and I really think she needs help.
Please help me!
Thanks.

This is really tough, Sodium. But if you are a minor, you really need some adult help. Maybe it would be best to try to talk with your Dad about your concerns. It's probably a problem that he's even in those bars with her when your Mom's drinking. He may have an alcohol dependency, too. This really is too much for you to handle on your own.
A physician, nurse, school counselor, or another adult who does not drink alcohol (someone you trust), would probably be a good place to start. There are Alanon, and even Alateen groups in most towns where you can talk anonymously with other people who are experiencing family problems that result from a member of the family abusing alcohol. Good luck to you.

[Clough]

It would be good to have an update from Sodium, since she has not logged back onto this site since posting what she has on this thread. We are concerned about her! :)

[Sodium]

I Live in canada
To answerr your other question

[anniekee]

How are you doing now? It seems it has been some time since your original message. Is someone you know in your corner?
Are you safe? Is there a place you can go and someone you can talk with when you need to?
I know it's hard to stay strong, and safe, sometimes because I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father, though this situation probably wasn't as dire as yours.
Even after leaving home and having a life of my own, I did join an ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) group for a while. Some of these AA groups can be very helpful. And, I admit, some of them are less helpful, but if you keep checking them out, eventually you're likely to find a group that's right for you, to get you through this rough patch.
But please make sure that you have an escape hatch, a safe place you can go when things get too intense. Your Mom is sick, and maybe your Dad, too. Make sure you have another adult you trust in your life.