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    me_angel's Avatar
    me_angel Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 18, 2007, 11:58 PM
    How can I get out of this situation
    [F]I am working in a IT comp. my sister's friend's husband helped me in getting that job. I was thankful to him b'coz of that. so i invited him for a treat on my b'day. after that he fall in love with me. he alway say me to become his More than friend. He always force me for physical relationship. I always try to make him understand that he is married and he should not think like that. he should love only his wife. but he doesnt understand any thing.

    he behave like a crazy person. I told him clearly that any physical thing is not possible between us but he doesnt understand. He keep telling me he want me...

    Please help me how can i make him understand. i am very disturbed b'coz of this
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Oct 19, 2007, 09:14 AM
    Try to avoid him. Don't invite him anywhere and do not go anywhere he invites you.
    Keep telling him you have morals and integrity and you don't want to be 'the other woman' for any man. That you respect his wife and wouldn't want to be the one in the position to be cheated on. Tell him hit the road the job isn't worth the price of putting you in the position of him cheating.
    Some times guys only see what they WANT and all the words in the world don't penetrate that so Try to avoid him. Don't invite him anywhere and do not go anywhere he invites you.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 19, 2007, 02:49 PM
    IT is easly just always say no, no one can force you to do anything
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Oct 19, 2007, 03:04 PM
    Are you worried about your job, that he would have you fired? Report his behavior to your supervisor. The dates, the times, what he said, what he does and file a sexual harassment claim against this guy. If nothing else, call his wife and tell her what he is doing. Are there are any witnesses to what he says or tries to do with you? Can you record him when he makes those advances to you?
    Silent Breeze's Avatar
    Silent Breeze Posts: 114, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Oct 20, 2007, 01:19 PM
    Reporting him is a good possibility, I agree with them. However if you feel afraid to do so and he's not harassing you to that extent I think you should just avoid him and not go to any place he's in. But always keep in mind that if anything goes wrong, you'll immediately report him.
    Goodluck girl!
    me_angel's Avatar
    me_angel Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Oct 21, 2007, 09:49 PM
    I have told him many times that I don't want to cheat her wife. Any married person can not be my boy friend. But he doesn't understand. I have tried to avoid him too.

    But I am not able to handle him.
    Silent Breeze's Avatar
    Silent Breeze Posts: 114, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Oct 22, 2007, 04:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by me_angel
    I have told him many times that i dont want to cheat her wife. any married person can not be my boy friend. but he doesnt understand. I have tried to avoid him too.

    But i am not able to handle him.
    Then I think you should report him.
    maruthi_reddy's Avatar
    maruthi_reddy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Feb 26, 2008, 03:43 AM
    If he works with you, report to your HR with supported documentation. He will be fired. If he is your family friend, inform his attitude to your sister. Ask your sister to talk to him. If you know his wife, your problem may close for sure. Explain all to his wife and she will take care the rest.

    But anyway be careful and safe guard yourself.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #9

    Feb 26, 2008, 06:49 PM
    OK, I think you understand everyone is wanting to help you push him off, but maybe what you are saying is that you want to and just can't do it. Reporting him to someone may be the answer, but if you want to not be embarrassed in your work place, you may need to try something a little more creative first.

    And perhaps you don't want to make waves at work and you don't want to hurt your friend by telling her that her husband is hitting on you. How about trying this...

    Find a mutual person that knows you AND your friend, but isn't involved in your work either. If you can think someone, tell the bad guy to meet you at a restaurant some afternoon, and you show up to the meeting with your mutual friend.

    When he arrives, introduce him to the friend and tell him something like this: "I've told my friend here that you are trying to have sex with me and that you are married. I told my friend I told you 'no' but that you don't understand. So, my friend has your wife's telephone number and your work number and if I don't SWEAR to him every week that you haven't you called me, he will call your wife and your work and get more people involved."

    Your friend could even make this speech for you if you're shy about it. Basically, he needs to know that every time he hits on you, more people will be told about it until his life unravels because of it. Gives him one last chance to stop it himself before more people get involved.

    Then DO IT.

    Good luck, I hope he leaves you alone.
    afaroo's Avatar
    afaroo Posts: 4,006, Reputation: 251
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Feb 28, 2008, 12:40 PM
    How many times beside your B.D party you have gone out with him, for lunch, dinner, coffee brake or movies.

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